Hump Day Humour

Signs you’re older than you thought….

- You can live without sex but not without glasses. - Your back goes out more than you do. - You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

Juz  sayin…

A woman’s idea of romance is candles and satin sheets. A man’s idea of romance is “Hi Honey, I bought you some edible underwear!”

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.

I pretend to work here, they pretend to pay me.

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.

Why don’t oysters give to charity?   Because they’re shellfish.

Ok I’ll try better next week I promise.

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