Toilet paper …be it the humbly recycled (or not) innocent roll, coloured or white, perfumed or not, patterned or plain. One of life’s little necessities that (well let’s face it) we simply cannot live without. To think that brought about such pandemonium to our household in the last couple of days.
Our domain consists of my other half we shall call him “Mr. S” and my youngest (youngest being 25). When my other daughter lived at home there were the 3 girls and Mr S.
Where did the paper go? Did we have a robbery in the night by a Loo paper Thief? Should we notify the police swearing “Officer we had 4 rolls left and the next day we had none?
What on earth happened to it? How could it disappear so quickly? If you are nodding (especially if you have femme fatales in your midst ) you would be 100% correct.
Why because we simply use more! Whether it’s because we scrunch or fold, the female species simply think we need to use (at one time) at least the amount to decorate an entire May Pole.
Of course we do have to utilise said loo paper for more than the one reason that our male counterparts do (we don’t need details) and none of us think of how many trees from the Amazon we have cut down in order to satisfy our daily requirements & well simply put we probably don’t give a toss.
But when it comes to that crucial moment of the day when you run out …LOOK OUT THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!!! “Mum have we got anymore toilet paper?” yells daughter. “Um nope not a lot will get some tomorrow” was the reply. Following day “Mum did you get toilet paper?”. Um nope (bugga) forgot – we (Mr S and I) have 1 roll left pinch some of that if you need it”. “It’s OK I’m going out tonight I’ll get some on my way home”. “Good-o” said I.
Following morning “Ahh you didn’t get the toilet paper?” “No sorry I forgot”. Right then…crisis situation that was festering has now developed into a full blown OMG what NO TOILET PAPER situation. The world as we know it will crumble around us for we are also out of tissues!!!!!
Enter Mr S on his white steed (ok his blue 4 x 4) sending me a text this afternoon “Do you need anything at the shops”?
I replied “No thanks hun can’t think of anything”. I drove listening to the radio and thoughts about the day that passed to suddenly remember and sent a text “TOILET PAPER!” Moments later “Mission accomplished” came the reply.
Ode to the PAPER.
Ahh humble paper on a roll, how much we need you,
I do apologise that sometimes I don’t give you a 2nd thought.
We thank you for being able to satisfy our daily requirements.
We shall give thought to how much we scrunch or fold.
Please forgive us for thinking so little of you that we occasionally take you for granted.
For we shouldn’t…you are much loved & needed both day & night….& we couldn’t live without you.