Motherhood – telling it like it is..the good..the bad…the ugly

How brave am I with that Title!

Dislocating my shoulder from patting myself on the back…that’s how much.

No honestly I have read a few blogs (such a blagh word) posts..posts sounds much more dignified, of late and wanted to write the below.

This is Mumsy talking ..honest..straight from the heart …the gut…the soul…

Mums,Moms,mothers..no matter what word you use (now take a deep deep breath in) we are special, we are loving, we are caring, we are nurturing, we are protective, we are consoling, we are advises, we are taxi drivers, we are nurses, we are accountants, we are healers, we are protectors, we are hard task masters, we are insane, we are counsellors, we are time keepers, we are the carers, we are …well just mums.

No one prepares you for mother hood no matter how many books you may read, or what advice is imparted by family, relatives or friends. When I was having my 2nd, I pulled into the driveway to drop off daughter # 1 to be greeted by my mum who said “Hope it’s a boy”… Hmmph well I don’t really care at this point I just want IT OUT!!

You can take in all the advice (especially with your 1st) you absorb and then it’s up to  you..plain and simple you are the one having said child.. you are the one that is going to go through unexplainable agony to deliver said child and you are the one to raise said child to the best of your ability.

Prior to having your lovely little one….

Do they tell you that you that in the throes of labour you will hate your other half for getting you into this mess in the first place? No

Do they tell you, even though you may decide on a drug free birth that the pain is so great you may simply relinquish all thoughts of not wanting to possibly inflict any drugs into your baby’s system for taking some? No

Do they tell you that you  have to have an enema (why couldn’t I just have had prunes?) and a mini shave? (like OMG what is THAT all about) No

Do they tell you that you have to leave any embarrassment aside that you may feel about having your legs spread wide or in stirrups with bright neon lights shining onto your private bits? No

Do they tell you that you will squat, be on all fours, lay down, toss, turn, sit, pant, breathe heavy,cry? No

Do they tell you, you will feel like you are passing a watermelon and not a small baby? No

Do they tell you when your milk comes in day 3 or 4 that you turn into the devil incarnate? No

Do they tell you that relieving your sore and swollen “boobies” can only be helped by (a) standing under a hot shower (b) putting cabbage leaves across them (such elegance) or expressing? No

Do they tell you if you have had to have an episiotomy that the only cure is a salt bath and a whoopee cushion? No

Do they tell you that yes you may not be able to burp your baby and their lips may turn purple? No

Do they tell you it’s natural for you to run down to the nursery if baby isn’t in the same room with you to check on them every 2 minutes? No

Do they tell you that if your baby doesn’t sleep and you are rocking them, laying them along your arm, feeding them, burping them, laying them on your tummy and you will be so sleep deprived that you feel you want to throw them out the window? No

Do they tell you that they will test your patience, make you cry, make you scream, make you say  “Why are you even here?? No

Do they tell you that their first bowel movements may make you gag? No

Do they tell you when you bath them that it is ok and you that you won’t accidentally drown them? No

Do they tell you when you want to cook the dinner that that is the time they will play up and cry and want attention? No

BUT SHOULD THEY TELL YOU

That you will go through the worst pain you have ever experienced in your entire life  and be grateful that you did and you won’t remember it.

That you will look upon your newborn child with awe and amazement of how you created this tiny being?

That you will snuggle against your newborns skin and take in their baby smell and realise that is all you have ever wanted or needed in your life.

That you watch them feed and gaze at their sleepy eyes as they close sated with milk.

That you will listen to their first words and think they are the most brilliant child to be born.

That you will watch them take their first steps and be warm,fuzzy and proud inside.

That you will heal their wounds and band aid their cuts when they fall.

That you will treasure the moment they bring home their first piece of art work from kinder and school.

That you will be so excited for them when they have met a friend.

That you will be the shoulder they need to cry on when they have been hurt by someone.

That you will be there to help and guide and protect and nurture them for as long as you live.

That yes there will be testing times and angry times and frustrating times but it’s all part of being a mum.

That you think being a mum for all it’s trials and tribulations is what you have wanted more than anything else in this world.

That the love you feel for them is insurmountable.

That you would lay your life down for them.

Yes that is what is being a mother is all about…here for the long haul through thick and through thin, to encourage, to help, to guide, to mentor, to love.. and truly…I am so happy to be a mum..happy to have these (now adult girls) who will always be ‘my babies’. Proud of their accomplishments and yes can acknowledge their failures or have doubts about how they live their lives. BUT still… seeing a part of me in them for better or worse and being individuals and simply just them being them makes me proud.

Yes they may take a wrong turn, make decisions you aren’t happy with but it’s all part of growing up and they are learning as you  continually do.

Embrace your role …I have…I will continue to do so…sometimes it’s difficult, sometimes you want to pull your hair out, sometimes you scream and rant and rave at things they have done…but they are your creation. They are part of you and for me, my 2 daughters are … well…. two human beings that I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever want not be in my life.

I am in awe of them..now and always.

16 thoughts on “Motherhood – telling it like it is..the good..the bad…the ugly

  1. Here here mumsy!
    I’m a pussy cat in real life, but god forbid anyone harm my boys! The lioness will emerge!!
    My relationship with my younger sons dad was full of domestic violence. As painful that relationship was….*deep breath* my son was the best thing I got out of it! We were together 4 years. I knew I had to protect my sons from him. I was petrified of leaving him because of all the threats he made concerning our son.But the lioness came out and dared him face on! My son was 6 months old when I finally got the courage to leave.
    No one will hurt my children!
    Loved your post mumsy! xxxxxxxx

  2. Wow.

    To look at the two lists … at first you see them being of equal length …

    … then you realize … ANY one of the things on the 2nd list alone trump ALL the things together on the other list.

    Thank you .. .for the wonderful words.

    • I didn’t look at the lists like that as I was in a slight rambling mode hence the length of this, but you are right…**nods** very very right.
      YOU are welcome Katiekins – I’m glad you enjoyed. xxxxx

  3. Hurray for Mumsy. Thank you for saying what you did. Not many do. Oh and let’s not forget that they never tell you after you have a caesarian( twice, I might add) that you are incredibly constipated – ugh, awful. Trying to pass gas and nurse at the same time is just not possible and they never tell you that the medication you get for surgery delays your milk, frustrates your baby and makes her cry down the entire maternity ward. But…at the end of it all, you have the most precious gifts and that’s what counts 🙂
    xox

    • Hello! I probably held back a little in the ugh department as there were a few things I could have added! That must have been frustrating for you hearing her cry and knowing you didn’t have her ‘meal’ ready 😦 Poor little poppets. Thankfully they won’t remember though you will.. us mums can’t forget any of what we went through..but as you say look what the end results are and everything else is ‘by the by’. 🙂 xxxxx
      Thank you for words darling 🙂

  4. Really like this post. The truth about being a mum is a very bizarre thing. You can’t even try to explain it to someone who is yet to experience it, nor would you want to tell them the hard part. They’d never believe it anyway. What is even harder to explain is the total love, pride, and awe you feel when you watch your children. Well summed up.

    • Hello, welcome and thank you for visiting and commenting. Thank you also for your kind words – very much appreciated. No it is a difficult role to describe isn’t it. I felt like ..trying to tell it as it is and wondered what response I would get. I thought maybe I would scare mums to be off which I possibly have, but yes the end result like your 2 gorgeous children is what makes it all worth while.
      Thank you.

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