Milk and eggs
This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:
A wife asks her husband,
“Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk,
And if they have avocados, get 6.”
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”
He replied, “They had avocados.”
(If you’re female, I’m sure you’re going back to read it again! Males will get it the first time.)
How to make a Christmas Cake??
1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1 bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit.
Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK. Try another cup just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the Vodka. Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the Vodka and wipe the counter with the cat .
OMG! I can’t stop laughing!!!! That’s friggin hilarious! Thanks for the laughs tonight! I hope my son was able to help you?
He was he was he was..now you can get him to help downloading the book! **laughing** Thank him kindly for me please huney-pie. xxoo
I knew where you going before I got to the end LOL
Whose a clever boy then? 😉
I am, I am.
You are a nutter methinks – but that’s a good thing 🙂
Yes, yes I am…lol
I also liked because I couldn’t stop laughing..again!
oh thats priceless will have to copy and paste for friends! may I do that? xxx
My darling you certainly may..oops have to wish Toni a HB!!! brb xxxxx
Oh gosh, these are too funny! And yes, I had to read the first one twice!!
Thanks Mel…and ditto 😦
Thanks Mel and ditto! 😦
but I love avocados. lol. Most often they are hard as a rock, and when I check again, they are over ripe. darn things.
LOL to ripen said avocados put in a bag with a bana overnight – Wa Laaaa Next day ripe (I’m such a mum) 🙂 xxx
LOL to ripen said avocados make cosy in a brown paper bag preferably with Mr Banana and Wa Laaaaa next day ripe 🙂 (I’m such a mum) xxx
Haha … I read the first part….saw that 6 cartons of milk was brought home and I was all ..”what?!?!?!?” And reread. sheesh lol.
The drinking and cooking…omg…didn’t the Galloping Gourmet do that until he gave up drinking????
HIC…what? 😉 (I also had to re-read hun) double sheesh!
Haaa! haaa! haaa!, I couldn’t help myself, I’m still laughing. Like Katie, I read the first bit and thought, what does that mean.. Um, so sad 🙂 🙂 I did have a re-read.
Ha Ha Ha I think most of us did how sad are we 😦 Glad you liked. Wednesday or Hump Day Humour will be a regular spot!! WHOOT WHOOT! xxx 🙂
High-5 for us 3 then! lol
Nods a-lot 🙂