Hump Day Humour

Milk and eggs

 This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband,

“Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk,

And if they have avocados, get 6.”

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He replied, “They had avocados.”

 (If you’re female, I’m sure you’re going back to read it again! Males will get it the first time.)

 

 

How to make a Christmas Cake??

1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1 bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK. Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the Vodka. Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the Vodka and wipe the counter with the cat .

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22 thoughts on “Hump Day Humour

  1. Haha … I read the first part….saw that 6 cartons of milk was brought home and I was all ..”what?!?!?!?” And reread. sheesh lol.

    The drinking and cooking…omg…didn’t the Galloping Gourmet do that until he gave up drinking????

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