The things Men Say – or one in particular

Well at least Mr. S

I have TRIED to convince my significant other  better half partner in life to do a blog as he really is quite hilarious mildly funny, but alas he says that’s my domain 😦 pfft each to his own I guess.

He tends to rant as rave as much as I do – possibly that is why we put up with each other are so connected and today whilst driving to his folks house, I jotted down a few of his little rants.

Please keep in mind we are talking about driving in Christmas manic traffic on the way…

Me – “Since you have a 4WD (SUV) why don’t you put those Reindeer Antlers on – be all Christmassy like”?

Mr. S – “Then you have to stick a red nose on the front as well, how many reindeer to you see lining up to copulate with an SUV..clearly it’s not attractive to them”.

Traffic – Mr. S – “Moron **f… moron, oh for *bleeps* sake, neanderthals”.

Still angry that his new SUV is clearly 5kms (3.1 miles) under the speed limit actually driving.

Mr. S – “This speedometer is definitely 5ks under”.

Me – “Well that’s obviously how they are making the new cars now so you aren’t tempted to speed or go over”.

Mr. S – *Bleep Bleep* – Yeah but then we have to take off another 5 (in Australia by the way the advertising is take off 5 and stay alive) “So with this then you take off your *bleep* 5 which then makes you 10 under, then some other bugga drives up your bum because you’re going to slow & it’s a *bleep* hazard”.

Listening to a CD of Creedence Clearwater (yes we are old)

Me – “Oooh what’s this one”? (trying to guess when the music starts) “Heard it through the Grapevine”?

Song starts playing it’s Run through the Jungle.

Mr. S “Well it could have been Run through the Grapevine or heard it through the Jungle”.

Me – “I give up”. (exasperated expression on face).

Mr. S – “Songs have feelings you know – if you keep saying you didn’t like a song they wouldn’t have a choice but to drop off the charts and they could injure themselves”.

Me – Fingers in ears “Laa Laa Laa”.

Next thing is he points to the left – “There’s our new home honey”.

I turn it’s a Caravan yard.

Ahh such a twit, I mean wit.

Apparently you can get your star sign now in a number plate (registration plate for your car).

We pulled up behind one.

Me – “Look it’s mine” I said smiling.

Mr. S –  Reads the words out loud – Cancer – Loving, Adventurous, Calm”. Voice now raised slightly “CALM WTF – obviously purchased from the Reject Shop” whilst grabbing my thigh and laughing his head off.

Soooo funny Mr. S …… 😉

and that Ladies & Gentleman was my driving experience for today and my 150th Post.

I think Antlers and a nose would be cute