I couldn’t resist posting this.
For the believers that this will actually occur I am deeply saddened by your inevitable loss.
If you do believe that December 21st is going to go ahead, may I suggest the following.
- Stop buying Christmas Gifts.
- Don’t bother sending those last minute Christmas Cards.
- Don’t bother doing all those odd jobs NOW around the house you have been meaning to do, mending the gate, attaching the water hose connection properly, fixing the blinds in the lounge room, tidying your pantry cupboards, sewing a button on your husbands blue work shirt, painting the outside of the house, cleaning the fish tank, buying new shoe-laces for your runners, putting the dry-cleaning in, putting all those photos in the box into picture frames, buying that new phone, planning your holiday, having your regular eye-test, having your regular Pap test, washing the car, fixing the puncture on the bike tyre, having a mammogram, having a colonoscopy (phew), writing your eulogy or learning another language, because no one will be around to here either.
- Don’t bother mowing the lawns as know one will see it.
- Don’t bother switching of all electrical appliances as it won’t make a difference.
- Don’t bother asking your neighbour to collect your mail.
- Don’t bother finding a kennel or cattery to have your pets minded.
- Don’t bother inviting friends over for dinner on the 21st as it will all end in disaster.
- Don’t bother trying to lose weight before Christmas.
- Don’t bother giving up smoking.
- Don’t bother giving up drinking.
- Don’t bother trying to be nice to your neighbours.
JUST DON’T BOTHER
and if you are a non believer…
- Yes you still have to do all the above mentioned chores (sorry but you do).
- Yes you still will have the bills coming in that need paying.
- Yes you will still have to make the commute to work and furthermore, work when you get there.
- Yes you will still have to make the kids lunches and they will still not eat them.
- Yes you will still have to give advice to your offspring who won’t heed your wisdom.
- Yes you will get to the 21st and wonder ok ..when the hell is this happening? Anyone given a time frame? Have I still got time to do stuff?
- Yes you still have to do last minute frenzied shop with the hoards of stressed out, last minute shoppers and finding a car park.
- Yes you still have to smile and be sweet to all the rellies on Christmas Day.
- Yes you still will have loads of washing up and tidying up after the event.
- Yes you will possibly have a hangover.
- Yes you will think “What a load of Cods”.
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
The world as we know it ends every second – to become the world as we discover it 😉
How thought provoking was this my friend – yes ..yes it does 🙂
That has to be the funniest post ever! *laughing* so sad that people actually believe this! Night night Mumsy, it’s 2am in Melbourne and I’m closing the door and tip-toeing out! Shhh! Xx
Where on earth you tip toeing to at 2am young lady?
Thank you for enjoying it – must admit I was giggling when I wrote it 😉 xxx
This is great! Excuse to boss: I didn’t bother doing the project because I thought the world was going to end and there’s nothing you can do about it because you’re not allowed to interfere with my religious beliefs. 🙂
Ahh that was one I forgot to write about lol. Good line Lyn – thanks honey 🙂 x
OMG… but the 22nd.. is.. well. a very special day. *pouts*
Hmm this to be sounds like it maybe someone’s birthday on the 22nd???? 😉
Ah Haaa I knew it 🙂 A very special day indeed. xx
I’m a non-believer but I think I’m still not going to bother with most of those things!!! (losing weight…pfft!!) LOL!
lol I love ‘Pfft’ I was chuckling the whole time I wrote it.
Hahahaha! This is the best post I’ve read in a long time!
🙂 🙂 Thanks honey – we must have a similar style of humour then it seems?
Now see, I believe it is but it will be the zombie apocolypse so I’ll still need to do most of those things just to keep the kids calm and have some normality until everything stops running and working all together. We’ll still be alive just killing zombies in the process.
Please keep those Zombies at bay young man! They are revolting and pale and bloodied and…and…. just down right ‘yucky’ ..well tomorrow is the BIG DAY .. so I wish you a Merry Christmas to you and Shanny and family – coz obviously I won’t be able to do that after tonight 😉
LOL, Hey you too but it should take a few days before we lose internet and power. LOL
This is true!!! roflmao 🙂
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from me here in NH to you
I also have a star for your blog over here
Peace and Love