Burns Stanza, or Standard Habbie – Lustful Meeting

I am trying another form..short and perhaps not sweet. In this form Burns makes the first 3 lines rhyme and the 5th, the 4th & 6th lines become the 2nd rhyming pair.

The pattern is

x x x x x x x a
x x x x x x x a
x x x x x x x a
x x x x x b
x x x x x x x a
x x x x x b

Brush past me, I feel your body heat
smile with edge, a glance, not discreet
you alone and looking for meat?
shall I wait, see what’s next
lips look soft and your eyes so sweet
just lust, love too complex?

8 thoughts on “Burns Stanza, or Standard Habbie – Lustful Meeting

  1. Ok … so I only know a little about poetry …and often see the abba or aabbccdd things….this one had x’s. This one had a structure for the amount of words as well? I do not think I have ever seen that. That is a good job that you did on it nod nods.

    (I like haikus for some reason … I know that structure is the 17 syllable deal … where tis 5 in the first line …7 in the next…and 5 at the end line….and whereby you need an action…is that what it is? An action word at the end of one of the lines…and a seasonal word somewhere.)

    I really do like seeing how the poems are structured…I like your explanationatory intro to them *smiles*

    • Well look at you Ms Knowledgable! 🙂 Hugs for getting so involved with your comments.
      I am thinking (as I don;t rightly know for certain) the x’s were for the amount of words, however I could be wrong and it could by syllables – someone correct me if they know! 🙂 All forms of haikus the idea I am led to believe is that you must tell the words more than showing them. Or this – what I googled –
      The essence of haiku is “cutting” (kiru).[1] This is often represented by the juxtaposition of two images or ideas[2] and a kireji (“cutting word”) between them, a kind of verbal punctuation mark which signals the moment of separation and colours the manner in which the juxtaposed elements are related.[3]
      Traditional haiku consist of 17 on (also known as morae), in three phrases of 5, 7 and 5 on respectively.[4] Any one of the three phrases may end with the kireji.[5] Although haiku are often stated to have 17 syllables,[6] this is inaccurate as syllables and on are not the same.

      Thank you Katiekins I am glad that you are finding them interesting and hopefully I can manage some more – they are hards work lol but I love it. xxx

  2. Pingback: The Balassi Stanza #amwriting #poetry « Phoenix's Poetry & Stories

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