Last Week’s Submission – Picture it and Write – 2nd version Blind Sight
Thank you to Marisa Lyon for letting us use her great photograph for this week’s prompt.
For something a little different I have decided (for this weeks Picture it and Write photo prompt) to continue the story from last week. Critique welcome.
“Walk with me”, she gently whispers.
“I am scared”, I reply.
“I am with you, no harm shall come to you, I promise, you must trust me”, her voice was soft and reassuring.
“I do trust you”.
Slowly I stood from my desk and felt my way along the edges with both hands, till I reached a corner.
“Ten steps to the door”, she said.
I counted out my ten paces.
“Now hold out your right hand and feel for the door, then you need to turn right”.
I ran my hand along the door frame then turned as she asked.
“Twelve steps, almost there”.
I counted twelve, with my hands outstretched I reached a wire door. A warm breeze hit my face which made me blink several times.
My hands felt along the cold metal, till I found the handle and opened the door to the outside world.
“Just a little further, you are doing wonderfully”.
“There are seven large steps now, slowly”.
I held onto the side rail and gingerly placed each foot. They were both cold and warm to the touch.
“Now walk to your left a little, about fifteen steps”.
I walked across what I assumed to be the grass, for it was slightly spongy and cool underfoot.
“There is a swing, a seat that moves back and forth, turn around, hold your hands up either side of you and grab tight to the ropes, then you need to sit on the seat”, she giggled.
I hesitated, but she would not let harm come to me, I felt for the seat, the ropes and turned my back to them. Wriggling one side to another I sat on the swing in my garden, the garden that I had never seen.
“Now move your body back and forth, push hard”, she tittered.
I arched backwards and then pushed my body forwards and I was swinging for the first time in my life.
A feeling I hadn’t felt before as the warm air touched my face, my bare legs and feet bending beneath and in front of me.
“When I ask you to draw with charcoal, tell me what do you see”? she asked.
“I only have darkness, you know that, I do not know of colour”, I replied.
There was silence between us, I would never know the concept of colour. Never know the colour of trees, steps, grass or the sky. My world would always be black.
I felt her sadness within my heart.
“Please, I whispered, don’t be, you are my guardian angel and if I draw only with charcoal and never know the marks that I leave on paper, I am content. For what I do not know, I will never miss”.
I lifted my head up, as I swung in the air and gave thanks for the breath that I inhaled, that I could see the world through her eyes and that my heart was beating.
Apologies for the length of this submission…I couldn’t stop.
Bravo! I think you have captured the interaction and spirit between the sighted and the vision impaired perfectly! it is purely about feelings when you have no eyes to witness colour, thankyou Jenny I am going to share this one for tou…A plus my dear.
Thank you Palobi 🙂 I very much appreciate your beautiful words. I hope it was understood and that also this vision impaired has another personality (that probably does come through unless the other piece is read first) Hugggs and I am so glad it worked! 🙂 xx
…what I do not know I will never miss.” Great ending. Check your link on Ermilia’s blog. It didn’t take. Had to cut and paste. 🙂
Oh dear thanks for the heads-up Eric I shall check again. Thank you for visiting and reading. 🙂
The submission is not too long. I enjoyed the trust relationship and feeling as if I was walking with my eyes closed following her voice. It felt like I was sitting at my desk and I was suddenly blindfolded and led to a surprise.
Anne – I thank you for your generous feed-back – I hoped you enjoyed as I did writing it (thankfully not too long) 🙂 x
What a beautiful relationship they share. This is a very good story!
Thanks Bo her other personality led her to the garden and my first version was all over the shop, but I had guidance after first submitting from Palobi that I wasn’t on the right track. I am glad you liked 🙂 x
Agreed – a very good story!
Hugs to you lovely lady and thank you 🙂 x
What a sweet story. I think you wrote authentically from the perspective of the blind person. It must be so scary not knowing where you are going. But I guess we become so dependent on sight… I hear that often blind people are very good at listening. Our senses try to compensate, right? Thanks for contributing this week to Picture it & write! 🙂
Thank you Ermilia, I was told by Eric that my link did not work? Is it ok now? Yes our other senses become stronger to compensate – or that is what I have read. I am glad I could contribute – and hope to catch up with the other entries as soon as I can. 🙂
The original link doesn’t work but the link in a comment down below works. 🙂 I hope to see you contributing again soon!
That is annoying it has worked other times 😦 should I try and re-link or just leave?
Beautiful story! I truly loved this one. And thanks for the mention on my photo 🙂
Marisa you are most welcome, and thank you reading and loving – appreciated. x