I have no challenges, no photo or word prompts…nadda…zilch…tonight/this morning at 1:09am Saturday morning 23rd of March 2013 I sit in my study, I contemplate the events of ..yesterday.
Totally boring and un-news worthy to those that follow me. No poetry, no words of love or inspiration, no deep and meaningful of world events (not that I have EVER written this) or lost loves or heart ache. Yet I write …to share…cathartic, words to get off my chest for the world to see, that I alone, only feel.
I didn’t conform
my voice was heard
they did not wish
to hear it
like the empty
bottle of vodka
that sits beside me
can I be
time to write more
than what I have
to bore the pants
forgive me for I will
I need this
to give me back my
I wrote this tonight, because today at 4.30pm I was shall I say politely ‘fired’ from my job. We have a 3 months probation period over here and in that time the employer can cease your position without much or any justification as to why. I spoke up in the 2.5 months of being there. I job that I was given from my girlfriend putting my name forth. There was bullying, ignoring and I wasn’t part of the ‘cult’ demographic, I would not reform. Yay me, you may say for standing up for myself, unfortunately this is where it has got me. Speaking up, saying it wasn’t right, to be treated like this. I was told in my last meeting with the Manager this afternoon, that I am an extremely hard and conscientious worker….however it seems that meant very little if I wasn’t going to abide by their ‘ways’ (my words not theirs). Yes I am out of work and Mr. S is my rock, but what hurts the most is my girlfriend of 6 years who works there…has not contacted me since I left this afternoon.
Rambly has pledged to be honest and upfront about her feelings and her journey.. this is what I do now. So I ask for your forgiveness for I will have a lot of time on my hands in the next few weeks…months whilst I try and seek employment and I shall be more prolific in my writing – to heal myself. PLEASE feel free to delete the email notifications or if you so wish to un-follow, I will not think badly of you for doing so. I need to do this for me and I apologise in advance if I irritate the ‘crap’ of you. This is not my intent.
Will you please just go to bed… You will see the whole thing differently in the morning….xx
I’m going now :-(…I promise xx
Oh my lovely, write away, I will read and comment as often as I can. Here’s the thing… You were not meant to be at this place, with its cult- like environment and ceaseless bad behaviour. It was draining you. You spoke up, yes! yay you. ‘Tis a brave thing you did and you thought it didn’t get you anywhere, oh but it did. It got you out of a place that was just awful. However, it’s tough being without a job and to have a girlfriend of 6 years just fall silent, let you down, not be there for you….I wish I could take away the pain.
I wish you could too darling girl. Yes I am better off not there – but it’s a tough road to travel on now to find another job. My age won’t make it easier as they hide from the over 40 bracket… Yes her silence is more hurtful than loosing the job. Thank you for your kind thoughts, xxx
Write it down… everything…
People follow you because they love your ramblings.. So go on…
How kind you are to say this – I think I shall be writing till my wrists ache over the next few weeks. Thank you for being so thoughtful xxx
I’m so sorry to hear about this bad event! I hope you find new, more enjoyable work soon! I’ll be thinking about you!
Thank you Mel- I hope I do also – maybe time for a career change… xxx
So sorry to hear this, Rambly, especially about your friend. 😦 I will always read your stuff and no, I’m not going to unfollow you. Not going to give you any advice about how to handle this; just know that you can cathartically blog away. *Hugs* Lynette
Lynette you are so sweet- I wish I could make a living from cathartically blogging…my dream… unrealistic I know…but I wish. Thank you for your support. xx
So sorry to hear this….But hey, being true to YOURSELF, who you are is far more important than a job.
And like they say, when one door closes, another opens. Something is waiting in the wings for you, I’m sure of it. 🙂
Hi Tracy, yes tis true being ‘true’ to oneself is a far great accomplishment …hopefully that door opens quickly. Thank you too for your support. x
Write, write and write some more. I am here!
Bo how kind thank you for being supportive. xx
I am sorry Rambly but proud that you spoke up and did not cave into the bullying and cultish atmosphere. Something will turn up– it wasn’t a good environment anyways. So write away and keep us reading. I’m sorry your friend is not being a friend.. and it hurts
Yes it does hurt and I still have not heard from her, I think perhaps she does not know what to say to me, still a simple text of “I’m sorry” or “We are ok” would have meant the world… Thank you Audra for your support xxx
Maybe. Gently tell her so.
That just stinks but good for you standing your ground. It sounds like you were too good for that place. I look forward to your prose.
Beck I could think of another few colourful adjectives to add to stinks – but I shall refrain…for now. Thank you for your kind words as always. xx
Sorry to hear about your misadventure in the world of working stiff. Right now you must feel like you’re totally down and out, and the only good thing about this is that the only way you can go is up. On that note, I’d like to offer you a little musical interlude from 1960 from the Broadway show called “Wildcats” which is sung by the star of that show herself LUCILLE BALL
Hope you’ll enjoy this.
Hi ‘ RL’ – thank you for saying that, as I have mentioned possibly a career change – a course.. I have to get my head a little straight to think of what options are available. Thank you for the clip that was so kind of you… I use to watch I love Lucy and I didn’t know she could sing. That was very kind. xx
You’re quite welcomed and I’m glad you’d enjoyed the clip.
Huggss….and sending an email soon.
I was going to send you one last night – but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Huggs back and thank you. xx
tis okay … tis okay Mumsy … I understand. *hugs you again*
Aud – I’m a little bit stubborn at times…I tried to start conversation before this took place and I got nothing back, it is over, I have to accept sadly. x
I hope you’re feeling a little better since you wrote this yesterday. The whole thing sucks and I’m sorry. You are you and you are wonderful and it sounds like you’re better of out of there anyway. It’s always a pleasure to read you, so keep writing away. And here’s to the good guys, you will triumph in the end 🙂
Judy hello and thank you. I am a little in shock still, pondering my future and if I should have a sea-change. I am tired of the office environment so when my head has settled I shall think of what I can do. Thank you SO much for your kind words, appreciate your visits as usual. xx
Big hugs to you sweetie. Oh, how cruel people can be..write on, we shall read..xxxx
Thank you Merby, I appreciate your support, thank you for the hugs xxx
“Like” for your words, and your strength, not the circumstances. *hugs* You’ll find something better, with better people. In the meantime, write away– and I’ll read every word! 🙂
Rawr… I understand what you mean. I hope I shall it’s a little (a lot) daunting) at my age to get out there again. Maybe you may wish to read every 4th or 5th as I have a feeling my days will be spent on here. Thank you so much for your thoughts. xx
I hope you’re feeling a little better now (I must have completely missed this post – bad me!)
You suffer from my “don’t-take-any-shit” affliction 😀 They don’t really like that in an office environment where you have to suck up to everyone…
It’s awful about your friend – I hope you’ve heard from her by now…
Yes and perphaps I should include that in my letter to my prospective employer! Thanks chookas. Sadly no haven’t heard…don’t expect to now. 😦
That’s really hurtful 😦
Oh woman, you are being so silly right now. Sorry about you losing the job–that sucks unless of course if you weren’t too keen on the job it may be a blessing in disguise.
I wasn’t keen on it, nonetheless being our of work..does not put me in a happy place at all.. I am forging on and hope something happens soon, 1 week in and I am already driving myself batty. x
It appears I have travelled back almost a year and am leaving you comments which may no longer be relevant to the situations you now experience…
How have things been since this took place almost a year ago now?
Hello ML, it appears you have 🙂 well since then, I went on the road of being a funeral celebrant 🙂 thanks for popping in, it’s bringing back memories for me too! 🙂
Glad to hear you are working 🙂
I’ve been away for about 2 weeks – life always steals me off to take care of other things – soccer, football, Athletics… lol
Whenever I come back I try and do catch up and so sometimes end up in the archives eh.. lol
Been great to learn a bit more of you though 🙂
Really relate to experiences you were having in the workplace back in march of last year – Internal Workplace politics is a fungus!
You made me laugh, at least you almost had the right month 🙂 yes internal politics do suck and losing a friendship of 7 years worse, hence working for myself again..life does get in the way, tis cool – appreciate you reading.