VISDARE CHALLENGE
# 13 Atmospheric
RULES:
150 words – or less.
Thank you for this brilliant photo this week! Another piece of Prose – Open for Critique please.
Like soldiers aligned in rank
they maintain their stance
they maintain their stance
encircled by the mist
the ebb and flow of tides
barnacles invade
clutching wooden feet
imbedded in sand resilient
in forceful battering winds
with valour silent alone
their guard of honour
united for ever more
they persevere
defending pier
and countries shores
how many were
their battles
opposing mother nature’s force
in squalls and sheets of rain
currents circling oceans floor
with rotted splinted wood
their hubris will endure
scratched
and cut with shells they hold
wraith like soldiers marching
into war
Ramblings From A Mum 
Really…the lexicon chosen…super…delightful…! ‘Shells’ indeed! I am looking for the main message, which slighty changes to me all the time, but than that is good, as the tide slightly changes..
G’Day Pirate that was quick I must say, but I certainly am honoured that you have read. I saw soldiers standing ready for battle… against the seas against their enemy..shells of the sea or shells from a gun? Other than that I probably don’t know myself…but as you say the tide does change 🙂
Not quicker than you penning such powerful words off the cuff like that! You provoked me into immediately doing mine! I enjoyed your poem. It can be read aloud very nicely!
🙂 thank you once again, I’m chuffed as always to receive feed-back from talented writers such as yourself. I have always read aloud as I write..somehow it makes more sense to me that way. I’m coming over to view yours now!
Well, your words are very kind, and very important, but I am sure you did not make your prose as florid as I, as I rehearsed the recital! On the ‘MMagpie Tales site I see someone read’s the blogger’s poetry on video…looks fun! Hee hee! NOT A HINT..REALLY!
🙂 I think then I shall pat myself on the back for this one then…because there are some I write that I don’t take to and this one..well hmm I do, so what are you hinting I should read one on video or you? 😉
Oh I think if you tried that it might be a very nice idea, or audio, not sure how it is done. Surprised more do not try.
I did record my voice on a post as a few of my Americans wanted to hear the Aussie accent (which I don’t think I really have!) hmm maybe too technical but I’m sure tech savvy daughter can work it out… then it’s your turn!
Oh a pirate enjoys his voice, just will swallow some gravel first and all set!
chuckling down under
Splendid writing.. I loved your choice of words and your powerful imagination. 🙂
Thank you so very much sweet, I must admit I’m a little partial to it myself 😉 xx
Love this. Silent valour, the ebb and flow of time, the way things endure….Am catching up now after posting my own entry: http://anonymouslegacy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/visdare-13-atmospheric.html#disqus_thread (interestingly, although you did it much better, we both took the wooden pillars as soldiers….) [:-)]
I welcome you and thank you for reading. I shall catch up with yours later today. I love how we all feel differently about these pictures. Such imagination and words that run through our veins, I am glad you saw them as soldiers and appreciate the compliment.
Lovely writing, my dear! You sure are good at this 😀
an honour – thank you chookas – now let’s see where that Publisher is…oh the door bell..be right back! 🙂 xxx
I really liked this; nice imagery.
bless ya’ cotton socks sweet – thank you 🙂 xx
That’s how I feel. lol Like I’m marching into war!! xxxxxx
Tis only the battle lines that have been drawn at this point hun, if you need help we are here. xxx
Thank you! xxx
🙂
Wow, this is a very strong imagery and wordplay as well. Very atmospheric,
I thank you BR for your lovely comments and reading.
wonderful prose! so imaginative from the photo given
Welcome and thank you so much reading and your lovely comment.
“imbedded in sand resilient
in forceful battering winds
with valour silent alone”
and the last two stanzas… sooo very good!! i could eat them up, especially the ending.
awesome, Jen!
So very much appreciated, I hope you know how much 🙂 xx
🙂 xx
Gorgeous picture of tenacity and long-suffering. Love this!!
Thank you Angela very much 🙂
I swear I commented on this but must have been distracted by something shiny. I loved your imagery surrounding the photo. Felt a certain “life” to the pier…that it held secrets of the past. Lovely to read.
That’s ok Maggie – I appreciate that you have stopped by and commented. I am so glad you felt it – thank you so very much 🙂