Walk on Visdare – Atmospheric

# 13 Atmospheric
150 words – or less.
Thank you for this brilliant photo this week! Another piece of Prose – Open for Critique please.
Like soldiers aligned in rank
they maintain their stance

encircled by the mist

the ebb and flow of tides
barnacles invade
clutching wooden feet

imbedded in sand resilient
in forceful battering winds
with valour silent alone

their guard of honour
united for ever more
they persevere
defending pier

and countries shores
how many were
their battles
opposing mother nature’s force

in squalls and sheets of rain
currents circling oceans floor
with rotted splinted wood
their hubris will endure

and cut with shells they hold
wraith like soldiers marching
into war

For:Β http://anonymouslegacy.blogspot.com.au

33 thoughts on “Walk on Visdare – Atmospheric

  1. Really…the lexicon chosen…super…delightful…! ‘Shells’ indeed! I am looking for the main message, which slighty changes to me all the time, but than that is good, as the tide slightly changes..

    • G’Day Pirate that was quick I must say, but I certainly am honoured that you have read. I saw soldiers standing ready for battle… against the seas against their enemy..shells of the sea or shells from a gun? Other than that I probably don’t know myself…but as you say the tide does change πŸ™‚

      • Not quicker than you penning such powerful words off the cuff like that! You provoked me into immediately doing mine! I enjoyed your poem. It can be read aloud very nicely!

      • πŸ™‚ thank you once again, I’m chuffed as always to receive feed-back from talented writers such as yourself. I have always read aloud as I write..somehow it makes more sense to me that way. I’m coming over to view yours now!

      • Well, your words are very kind, and very important, but I am sure you did not make your prose as florid as I, as I rehearsed the recital! On the ‘MMagpie Tales site I see someone read’s the blogger’s poetry on video…looks fun! Hee hee! NOT A HINT..REALLY!

      • πŸ™‚ I think then I shall pat myself on the back for this one then…because there are some I write that I don’t take to and this one..well hmm I do, so what are you hinting I should read one on video or you? πŸ˜‰

      • I did record my voice on a post as a few of my Americans wanted to hear the Aussie accent (which I don’t think I really have!) hmm maybe too technical but I’m sure tech savvy daughter can work it out… then it’s your turn!

    • I welcome you and thank you for reading. I shall catch up with yours later today. I love how we all feel differently about these pictures. Such imagination and words that run through our veins, I am glad you saw them as soldiers and appreciate the compliment.

  2. “imbedded in sand resilient
    in forceful battering winds
    with valour silent alone”

    and the last two stanzas… sooo very good!! i could eat them up, especially the ending.
    awesome, Jen!

  3. I swear I commented on this but must have been distracted by something shiny. I loved your imagery surrounding the photo. Felt a certain “life” to the pier…that it held secrets of the past. Lovely to read.

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