candied orange peel toffee apple red
colours drift to ground casting autumn aside
gloom of winter darkened days
scattered shadows dissipate
frozen morns forgotten goodbye to
nights crispiness as it migrates
for another year
a new season has begun swaying harmony
blossom creaminess caresses the perfumed
breeze floating downwards laying natures carpet
beneath my feet soft blades invite themselves
between my toes spring shows her calling card
scented flowers rainbow from the earth
accompany shy buds eager to display confidence
trees dressed in petalled outfits snuggle leaves
light of spring holds till late no shadowy clouds spoil
and daffodil trumpets herald the sun to
romance smiling faces sun kissed lovers
stroll energised hand in hand
cats purring stretch lazily in sunny alcoves
eggs crack new born feathers break out
to spread their wetted wings
foals unsteady feet
greet the world in warmth on lush and
grassy knolls whilst
deers bend to nuzzle nose of young
hidden amongst forest verdurous
Open and welcome critique please
Written for http://dversepoets.com/2013/04/20/poetics-spring/
Ah Jenny, this is a very nice spring poem. I can see the foals and smell the smells. And the singing qualities of your poem… Should be sung.
Thank you BR what a lovely compliment. Did you feel it was too discordant? I would appreciate any critique you can give. Thank you for always supporting my work.
As I said it had such a strong melody in it – I always appreciate the rhythm of a poem the most- hence my preference for writing structured poetry. I admire everybody that can add a melody to their work. I sat here in a cafe and read it loud 😉
Oh goodness at least you weren’t embarrassed too do so, thank you so much. I do enjoy having rhythm and structure, I just felt that it was a little ‘choppy’, but I take what you said on board and I thank you. 🙂
Ah, the joys of spring beautifully expressed!
Welcome and thank you so much Laurie for reading, appreciated.
lovely images danced across my eye with your words. I liked how you splashed fall and winter at the start; I had almost expected to see a foreshadowing of summer at the end. ahh but spring is definitely a season I enjoyed lingering in. probably for all those reasons you listed…it makes me think of new beginnings….
Thank you so much rmp for your lovely words and reading. I felt it was growing too much to add more and readers would have nodded off 🙂 Appreciate your kindness.
A lovely painting of spring’s colors and perfumes ~ The 4th stanza is particularly striking to me ~
Grace I thank you also for your kindness, I think that was also my favourite to pen, thank you for reading.
beautifully captured, Jen!
Thank you Miri 🙂 xx
ah you capture the feeling of spring well…loved esp. all the images in the last stanza..the deer, stretching cat..cracking eggs….beautifully done
Thanks so much Claudia for reading & your kindness 🙂
You are using your picture! Nice! And a lovely spring poem, too! 🙂
Not too much? Aww thanks sweet for both compliments! 🙂 x
You have really added a lot of wonderful details in your picture of spring. The mention of the foals and also of the mother deer bending to nuzzle the noses of their young were my favorites.
Hello Mary thank you. The last stanza seems to be the favourite, I felt I went on a bit too much, possibly I should have just written the last 🙂