Apologies

I need to get something off my chest.

I struggle.

When I 1st started blogging, not knowing if in fact people would follow me, or more to the point I would follow anyone, I didn’t know how much I would be consumed.…ok I was a Virgin Blogger. We have all been there.

I have found the last few days (okay possibly longer) that I am struggling to keep up with reading and answering every post that people publish. I NOW realise when I was off work and I was totally consumed by writing to fill my day, that I bombarded everybody’s mailbox. How they must have felt – ‘Oh dear won’t she just shut up’?

I apologise for the amount that I posted….it is draining. Should we just delete the ones we have no interest in, or out of courtesy read everything that our virtual friends have written?

As I haven’t been on line for pretty much the entire weekend, I am faced with 50 emails from posts of the people that I follow.

I am a Cancerian and I am also possibly…slightly obsessive. I need to tell you all that I have the ‘guilts’ – I have the guilts when I can’t keep up. I am not spinning a tale, this is the truth, I feel SO bad if I cannot comment on every post from everyone that I follow.

It takes me a minimum of 3 hours to read every post, then to post a reply. Since I commenced last year, with every person that I followed, I have committed myself to read and respond.  If you feel that isn’t the case I apologise, but I have honestly tried to ‘keep up’ I came on WP to write, but I find myself of late reading more than I write.

I AM TRYING to respond in a reasonable amount of time, I am. I just need to let you all know that if I don’t answer immediately, I will eventually.

I wrote about blog etiquette and I am slipping myself in following through with what I believe are the rules and regulations of being a good blogger. There MUST be respect and acknowledgment. It is not about having people read what you write and hit the blessed ‘like’ button and move on. It’s about being involved with the writer, establishing a rapport, getting to know that person that you follow.

Otherwise this is plainly BS…sorry but that is how I feel.

I started writing because I enjoy writing. I did not start a WP site for praise. I am astounded by those that have followed me ( I am sure some of my followers don’t even read what I write – they do not care) but I DO CARE. I am involved with what you write and who you are and I need to tell you that I shall, when I can, read what you have written and reply. If I don’t then it’s simply a case of I haven’t the time or to be blatantly blunt a particular post you have written has not caught my interest enough to comment, or I have so many to reply too I have to CHOOSE.

Even in saying that I feel harsh… but I am saying it how it is, so forgive me.

I am here to write and then to respond, I will try my utmost to acknowledge the posts that you write, but for the moment I am feeling a little overwhelmed…

I want to be a respectful and caring blogger.. a person who isn’t here merely for stats and likes and a pat on the back.

I can only say don’t feel harshly towards me..I am but human.

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81 thoughts on “Apologies

  1. Just want to say, Jen that I have no expectation that you comment on every post I write. Comment when you feel you genuinely can, that’s all anyone can ask. We love you Cancerian guilt and all.

  2. Jenny, this is probably the the most honest and ‘human’ post I have read in a long time. Thank you for this.
    Most of us have been there I think – the ‘guilt trip’ is no stranger to me. The people I follow – I follow for a reason. Because what they say matters to me. Beauty, Wisdom, Depth… or just for Chuckles – it’s all right there – in my reader.
    However, we all know life gets busy sometimes. I do not have the time to read all of it – as much as I would like to… a day would need 24 more hours for me to accomplish reading it all. So we have to make choices.
    I came here to write – it’s all I wanted to do. I never forgot that.
    What I’m trying to say here is: Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your courage. This post, right here, shows how much you care.
    It is totally okay for you not to respond to everything we write (at least that counts for everything I write) – we can’t read everything.
    Don’t lose your voice trying to make everyone happy… make yourself happy – and go from there.
    🙂

  3. i understand completely, and in fact i find myself in the same predicament and wrote a similar message in one of my award acceptance posts asking for patience….heh, of course i’ve added 30 blogs to my follow list since then, so go figure:-)

    i enjoy a 3 day weekend and it’s then that i do most of my reading, also for blogs that post quite often you can change the edit setting to get a weekly digest of all their posts. i found that to be quite helpful. i appreciate your honesty a lot….you really can only do what you’re capable of doing and i for one am so glad for the time we spent in our sometimes, late night conversations. 🙂

    • Thank you my friend, even if I do weekly and not daily – the same amount is there and the accumulation of many is daunting. I feel I have to be honest – that is who I am, I am not here for constant accolades, I came here to write, because that is what I have to do, what most of us are here for. I just feel guilty when I cannot respond how I should with the friends that I have met. I appreciate our late night conversations also and I consider you one of my ‘virtual’ friends’ – thank you… thank you.

  4. Hi there, it sounds like you set the bar really, really high ~ much higher I imagine than most and certainly a lot higher than me!
    I always appreciate when people comment on my posts and I make a ‘reasonable’ effort to read and respond to the posts of people I follow. I think everyone’s ‘reasonable’ will be different, depending on all sorts of factors. You’ve been soooooooooooo honest here, it almost hurts to read your post.
    Please, please give yourself a breather from feeling bad and remember that we can only do our best.
    With love and appreciation from Ireland, jx

    • I thank you so much for reading and the kind words you have written. I am my own worst enemy at times and let things weigh heavily. I am feeling …hmm hard to say how I am really feeling at this juncture.I shall try and do my best and I thank you for sending love and appreciation from a country that I am extremely fond of. xx

  5. That was very honest of you Jenny, I understand how you feel and this is one reason I do not blog anymore, hated the dreaded ‘like’ button and still do, (no blogging anymore for me)
    You write incredible heartfelt blogs, but I will admit i do not read them all,life and leisure time are different for everyone so I play a game and skype and send emails and sometimes I read
    your blogs!
    You are a lovely kind genuine woman who as I said writes lovely heartfelt stories so do not feel guilty your Blogger friends will understand exactly how you feel about a non response…x

    • Palobi – what can I say… I am totally gob-smacked just being me and trying to be honest. I did not expect the comments I have received already. I thank you my lovely lady for what you have written I am sad that you no longer blog 😦 {{hugs}} and thank you from the bottom of my heart. xx

  6. Oh, this is a common problem, one I’ve seen a lot of bloggers write about. I think a lot of it is burnout. I started full speed ahead on WordPress with a post a day and reading all these other blogs and commenting and getting to know all these great people and finding out about the coveted Freshly Pressed and STATS and followers and likes and comments . . . and I feed on that sort of stuff, but at the same time I get so overwhelmed. Fellow Cancer here, so I get it.

    I’ve gotten lax on responding – and there are a lot of blogs I maybe never respond to or rarely get to read. In the beginning I followed a lot out of gratification for being followed, but maybe the writing wasn’t my style so I didn’t read much. Then it got to where even the ones who were my style – well there were just too many. But I didn’t want to cut down in case it hurt someone’s feelings, etc etc. I’ve been on WP since last August or so, and started several months before that on blogger (where I had two followers one of which was me.) It’s been so amazing having people like my stuff and a huge boost to my confidence. But I do wonder how much longer I can really keep it up.

    If it helps, since so many bloggers are feeling this same thing, it’s possible they aren’t noticing that you aren’t commenting because they have so many blogs they are forgetting to comment as well. I often wish that WP did not have a stats page or did not have a Freshly Pressed – it can become all about that and not about the writing, which is what got us here to begin with, right?

    • Hello Alice – my Cancerian co-hort. Yes I think perhaps the FP can distract those of us that came for a specific purpose to write for simply the love of writing. You are similar to me in what you have said. Receiving compliments does help feed and spur us on, but then (as what prompted me to write) it all gets a tad too much. 😦 Thank you for your support and for taking the time to read and ‘comment’, hopefully I shall find a happy medium. xx

  7. Mumz..
    You have been there AND SOME for me over the time we have known each other,. Every morning, or whenever I turn the PC on I get 1,000+ emails from Word Press…What I did was bookmarked the people I directly speak with on a regular basis and answer those ones. I can’t check 1,000 blogs, Impossible, How about you do the same? Open Bookmarks, create folder, call it “Word Press Friends” and bookmark the people you communicate with most.
    Remember this here>? http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/06/04/coming-to-a-blog-near-you-me-with-pictures/ Someone gave me REAL good advise on that matter. I knew I wasn’t replying to people who were replying to me, and I have the time.

    Don’t beat yourself up, you are much loved and respected around here, you can only do what you can do. This is just an idea. I felt guilty I wasn’t responding to every blog, but I couldn’t I have 2 kids and other stuff going on. Try my idea and see how it goes. Guilt, well all I can say is, you have nothing to feel guilty for.
    What this does show though is how remarkable you are. You are saying sorry for not replying to blogs. How sweet is that xx

    Do what you can, when you can, people will understand. I love you to bits,as a friend and you know I mean this. I have become closer to you as the weeks have went on.. You are an amazing woman with a way about you that is calming.

    Please don’t feel bad…
    Hugs
    Shaun….

    xx

    • I never knew of the book-marking. I will definitely (when I have a minute or severral) check into this. I woke this morning after reading some of these amazing comments, took a deep breath and will allow myself to do what is possible and not the impossible. This will be my mantra. I want to thank you for the kindness and the support and compliments you have given me in your reply to this, I had no idea it would cause so many to answer. Thank you so much Shaun, I’ll take that {{hug}} xx

      • Anything to help x
        You feeling guilt shows how much of a great friend you are to us all. I am a PC Tech remember, so if you need a hand, please let me know ok..
        And I hope you are feeling ok..

        Hugs x

  8. this was so well said and i think what many bloggers experience, myself included, at various times. i’ve decided to let myself off the hook and respond when i can and let the rest be enjoyed without response, no judgement of the writer or their work, just what i am able to comfortably handle. like you, i came to this place because i love to write and derive great pleasure from it, though i have found more and more, that the time i could spend writing or living life, has been spent catching up with reading or responding. all due to my caring and sense of what i should do, but at the expense of other things. i promised myself i would create a better balance in this area and i have. i have no worries about anyone responding, as i know the time it can consume, just happy to have found a place where i can express myself, freely and openly, without judgement and full of support. i hope you will do the same. i enjoy your work, think you are a beautiful and natural writer and will continue to read and follow your work,with or without response. .) beth (p.s. you do not have to respond to this. 🙂

    • Oh Beth – you made me laugh with your p.s. 🙂 when I looked at the amount of replies my head did spin and I thought the best way would be to do a post commenting and thanking everyone, but I could not. Everyone has taken the time to reply, so I will take the time to respond. I am astounded that there are many who feel as I do. Looking at the way that you and other writers feel – there indeed needs a balance.We write for the love and to be able to express ourselves as you say, it cannot turn into a ‘chore’ – I won’t let it! Thank you for your lovely compliment, I so appreciate your kindness. xx

  9. Don’t feel bad. When you read one post, another four crop up, Read the second and eight crop up etc. You have to decide which ones you go to. I receive 2-300 emails a day telling me that there are new posts. I have decided that I choose which ones I visit on a certain day. There are some that I visit every single day – the ones that comment on mine without fail. The others, I take turns on different days to visit. I would love to visit everybody every day, but then I would have no time for me.

    It’s the only way I can think of to be fair.

  10. You are such a sweetie. You remind me of another cancerian lady I know well. So very kind hearted.
    Now listen! You do NOT have to read every single blog post of mine (Not that I’ve written anything lately, lol!) NOR do you have to comment on every single one! It is ok, to sometimes just LIKE something….
    I’m sure most of your followers would feel the same.
    There is life to be lived AWAY from computers (How else would we find things to write about?)
    So you just give that old guilt trip a good kick in the bum and stop worrying yourself over these things, and above all else……keep smiling and keep WRITING!

    • Aww my Aussie friend you brought a smile, I am amazed at the response from this. Last night it all became too much when I looked at my inbox. Yes alot of our pieces are written from our life experiences, that we require to keep living in order to write.. it’s a never ending circle. I came to just express and occupy myself and of late, though I love it, I was starting to ‘un-love’ and that is not the situation I wanted to get in to. I shall try and kick the guilt in the bum- thank you for responding, thank you for being a sweetie 🙂 xx

  11. PS: Hi…Scottish Fool here…
    Anyone do Skype?
    Add me
    shaunyg1973
    I am up 2 days at a time, so need chatty people..
    Sorry Mumz, someone mentioned Skype above..

    And you have an email, just to make things harder for ya 😦
    opps.. Soz lol

  12. I try to keep up too and with new reader I have a place that the followers who really follow me can be replied too I know you can burn out when you have a life which I surely do and this is very time consuming for us but there are those I must try to keep in touch with here or Facebook or simply an occasional email HUGS
    Eunice

  13. My dear MM, I know how you feel but please give yourself a break. I don’t think anyone has the time to really read and comment on every single post they read and follow. It is so time consuming and we are all running our hectic lives. You have spoiled us, that is the truth, but we have to let you go. Blogging is something you should enjoy doing. I recently decided that I will blog twice a week rather than every other day. I prefer it this way. I know I am losing out on quite a few posts that I miss the days I am not online but I prefer spending more quality time with my family. I am trying to live more in the moment. I hope that makes sense. Love & hugs & some more love xxx

    • Hi T, I guess that was my problem, I was reading and commenting on every post – that is how I found myself in this predicament. I simply need to be strong and not try and follow the posts so closely, so I can return to some normality. I understand what you are saying, especially having two small young children to run around after, posting, reading, commenting needs to be put on hold 🙂 xxx

  14. Don’t you worry about a thing but I know exactly what you mean! And that’s why I am always surprised when not only do you comment but it’s in poem form!!! I posted something similar to this awhile back because I knew that I would fall behind. I can only read posts when the kids are asleep or occupied which is not nearly enough. Sometimes I don’t get to read a post until it’s already been published a few days. I feel really bad about this too but when I read a post I really want to give it my full attention. I can only hope everyone is understanding because I don’t want to come off as a jerk! Don’t fret over “catching up” and don’t let blogging overwhelm you or else you won’t enjoy it anymore. Just keep doing what you’re doing and we all know that one another has a life!

    • Sounds like a Bob Marley song 🙂 Yes as I have noticed with the replies everyone seems to be in a similar boat as I. The guilt got a little too much too bare, hence writing what I did. Today I have to look at it with a different perspective. Like T and yourself, those mums with young families must struggle to find the time and peace to keep 100% on top of the blogging world. I on the other hand have the full time job, seeing to my parents, whilst trying to maintain a ‘normal’ existance with Mr. S. Thank you though (p.s. and I enjoy doing the poems) xx

  15. you seem like such a genuinely caring person.

    don’t worry about constantly keeping up. i suspect your friends understand

  16. Jen, I want you to know, my friend…you have no reason to apologize. You have never been anything but wonderful and supportive towards me, and I hope to be able to do the same for you. I enjoy what you put down be it a ramble or a poem. You’re an interesting woman. That’s all… 😉

    • Kitt {{hugs}} I thank you for your support also, you write such thought provoking and yes at times provocative posts. Some I have to run away blushing, but I do try and read and comment on what I can. Bless ya’ cotton socks for your kindness. xx

  17. HEY.. you didn’t comment on my blog today… *stomps my foot* *giggles too*

    Mumsy comment when you can, comment when you feel the pull, don’t comment out of obligation please.

    Know what? the posts seem to last a long time, years and more I think, you can always browse one when you feel the urge, but only when you feel it, not out of a desire to keep up. 🙂

    • You made me smile and for some reason I thought you would stamp your feet 🙂 This is true the posts won’t go away, I do have time be it now or later, I was pushing myself to read & comment the day that people posted them…alas I couldn’t keep up. Thank you for supporting me (more ways than one) xxx

  18. Wait! Let me check on my posts..*scrolling through book reviews 🙂 * Um, darling, there are one two you’ve omitted. What?
    No, but seriously, you find time to comment on my posts, even when they are delusional. Do not feel bad if you can’t read everything. I used to blog once a week, now it is sporadic. I try to read everything but comment as and when I have time. It does take a lot of time because you don’t want to just hit the like button, you want it to be meaningful, long or short. I space it out for that reason. I got on WordPress for the same reason, to write. Please don’t feel guilty, although, I am the pot calling the kettle black for I feel bad when I can’t comment on all the posts I want. What I mean is, I understand. It’s important to write, to foster your creativity. Make sure you do that first.
    xxxx

    • Hello sweetheart, I know what you say and I think it has taken the replies that I have received to say ‘stop being such an idiot, no one will get angry if you don’t read & comment on everyone of their posts’… which is where I was. My thoughts were of guilt and letting others down (coz that’s how I roll).. some times to my detriment. I will continue to write and do what I can for others to support them, just have to breathe a little inbetween. Thank you darling for your ongoing love and support. xxxx

  19. Yep in the same boat with about 200 every day and must admit I am greeting a bit blogged out myself, almost no time to comment on anything just time to click the like button and move on. Trying to find a better way to do things myself before I get to the point of switching all the emails off. so a lot of us feel similar. Plus here is a thought of the day, if you go around 2oo blogs like me, why is the average likes per post 10 to 30 ish 🙂 I have been wondering lately whether it is worth just cutting down to 50 emails of blogs I really like 🙂

    • Hi Bruce – welcome to the conversation, that obviously many people are experiencing – Blog Burnout! Yes I seriously have to think about the amount that come in and perhaps look (when I have time) at the Bookmark facility as Shaun mentioned. I wish you luck and hope that we both find a ‘cure’ before we require medication! 🙂

  20. If you check the date on this comment you’ll see that I’m not really up-to-date with anything either 😉 I only log into WP two or three times a week so I miss a lot of posts but I try not to feel guilty about it. Blogging should be fun and not weigh us down. Some mornings I delete all my emails and just go through my latest post and comment on those who have commented on mine – this may sound selfish and fickle, but hey – that’s me 😉

    I love reading your posts, I don’t get to read them all, but those I do brighten my day. Keep up the great work, Jen 😀

  21. Ahhh, as you surely must know … many do not comment, or return comments as fast as they want to *raises hand* …

    Part of making friends …. esp online, is that you can make many friends. But we all have lives outside of the Blog World too … and I believe most of us understand the need to prioritize *smiles*

    Do not worry … writie when the fancy strikes you. Converse at a pace that works … or it will drive you mad nod nods.

    *huuggss*

  22. Oh look, it’s taken me three days to work though my inbox and get to your post. There’s no need to apologise for having a life and being busy. I have no helpful suggestions, except not to feel guilty!
    I appreciate your comments on my work because they are so encouraging and supportive. Comment when you can and when you find something worth commenting on. I’ve cut back on commenting on blogs where people don’t reply. How much effort does it take to respond with a 🙂 ?

    • Thank you sweet for this – yes I am now being a little more ..should I say particular. I got in my head that I hated just hitting the like button because to me that shows that 1) you haven’t bothered to read or 2) you don’t really care, but with time being so short it is difficult and that is all that I will be able to do at times. As you said a 🙂 doesn’t take much and hopefully the reader knows they have been read and receiving some acknowledgment! 🙂 Thank you Sarah, I hope to be able to keep up comments as much as I can. x

  23. I think everyone & anyone would understand. It does get a bit much.

    I follow a few, and only read when I can. You just can’t, can’t spend the whole weekend reading. Not possible!

    • Yes I had to pull back and have done so since I wrote that..all a tad consuming at times and no we can’t read all weekend or reply…hmm that means I have a life outside blogging then? 😉 Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂

    • One step at a time – one email at a time also – I am having to delete a few sadly, as when i see the inbox – I freak out. I try to read on certain days and then post on others. There are thousands, but we can’t do the impossible. 🙂 xx

      • No we can’t do the impossible. Right now my emails are at 227..and that’s because I am no longer getting emails on some post but just going to the reader. I start to have anxiety when my emails get into the 600 numbers because there are emails from word press that I have been saving. What a catch 22 on wordpress. You start out with nothing then start making friends and then the email monster starts to attack you and give you guilt.

        I hope that someday I get to meet you and Paula in person. Australia is on my bucket list. That would be a lovely thing to do someday along with a couple of other Aussie Bloggers I have met via wordpress.

      • Hi hun – wouldn’t that be amazing to actually meet the people we have become acquainted with on here!
        I so agree – we start out thinking no one will read us – no one will follow and before we know it…WHAM – as I said one at a time or designate days to read and days to post, that is the only way I really can keep myself sane 🙂 PS Never let it get to 600 or you will be tearing your hair out! xx

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