Nomadic nights

silent, dark and moth

These words were given to me from http://whoatethedaisies.wordpress.com/ as an inspiration to write the other evening and I had nothing… I now write the below (I probably still have nothing) but I’m giving it a try, I am letting my thoughts flow a little more. Critique welcome.

images-2

fingers splintering on bare wood
the night, eyes closed ~ except through
my third eye,  the centre of my brows

early hours are silent,  bar the tinkering
ivories that draws me from unconscious sleep
dreams will not be ReMembered
when I wake yet still I wonder

violins draw close, like moths
fluttering, movement; bow on strings
music helps my flight, as I drift or am I deep
in slumber now

wings circle overhead escaping from the birds
hush morning do not come to soon
I am in the woods, a far off place
morning will enter, UNknowingly disturb

spin… SPin  hallucinating?
rest, tortuous circles upon the pillow
REALity or not, dreams,  nightmare
bring me back to violins and
the black and white

so that I may rest tonight

****************************

LIPTEMBER MONTH OF SEPTEMBER – Shaun from http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com has kindly and generously written a blog for Liptember to help Kayla raise funds for the fight against Mental Illness. He has donated recently, as have a few of my readers. Please read and if you can donate (for those that haven’t already) we would be most grateful. Please re-blog his post too if you can, to get this out there. Thank You!

We are in the process of getting a Pay Pal address for those who have had difficulty donating.  


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25 thoughts on “Nomadic nights

  1. I touch bare wood splintering the quietude (a bit too telling instead of showing for me, and you want something to grip the reader and pull them in)
    of the night, eyes closed ~ except through
    my third eye, the centre of my brows

    the early hours are silent bar the tinkering(cut the before early, comma after silent)
    ivories that draws me from unconscious sleep
    in which dreams will not be remembered (cut in which)
    when I wake yet still I wonder

    spin… SPin …nice use of CAPS…smiles.. i think you have something, but could use some work to give it some zing…

  2. Hello and once again I thank you Brian for your critique I am making the changes and having another look at it now – in the light of day 🙂 Appreciate your feed-back and always and reading. (Thought you would like the caps) 🙂

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