riders on the storm

Horses-1-K6IZAMQ25Y-1024x768Sharing with the wonderful folk at  dVerse – The Poets Pub (as written yesterday and domestic chores beckon).

the calm beginning ~ horses at the starting gate
before hooves punch the ground, breath through
nostrils flair; who will have the false start
words bandied back and forth in anger and
who will trip across the barrier
who will hold the reins tight listening
as tempers start to fray, like rhythmic feet
upon the ground, dismantling the clay

who listens to who; whose the judge without
a jury ~ yes but you don’t understand
I am this way, I am who I am, I cannot change
my life will always be the same

I hear you, I have empathy, but you have
to change yourself to see, to overcome the
hurdles you now face, to get you to
a better place, to be the one you wish to be

but there is no hope ~ Why can’t you see
with hands that clench and feet that step
from side to side;  body tense;  tears flow
and as your mum ~ have no place to go with this
to handle, to help you understand
I watch as you fall apart ~ before my very eyes
I want to hug, but that will only disguise
what needs to be said out loud, with both voices
raised, how much more can we both take
the horses have bolted and who won the race

©jmtacken Sept 2013

*Please let me know if you have issues with the audio – I don’t know how to fix it though..unfortunately 😦

52 thoughts on “riders on the storm

  1. An incredibly intense poem, as the miraculous beauty and intense power of a thoroughbred so smoothly engineered into a mothers love…. Jenn, you are incredibly talented…. I’m at work now which has a rather intese security firewall so the area which I assume has your player and recording is only showing up as a blank white rectangle. I’ll have to try later from home.

    • John, words of thank you fail me ..apart from Thank You so very much for reading and your compliment – it means a great deal to me. Hopefully the sound will work for you later, if not I still appreciate you stopping by and reading.

  2. mmm its hard as a parent esp when the kids are older not to want to rush in and save the day, knowing we can not….that last bit pinged me, my day will come…you built this nicely to get there….love the title…and i am singing the song as i read…..

    cant see the audio either due to the filter but will come back and give a listen here in a bit…

    • Oh Brian if I had answers to make a parents life easier (even when their children are adults) I would make a fortune. So many difficulties and different hurdles.. Thank You also for your compliment, yes everyone time I read the title I kept singing too 🙂 Hopefully the audio works later for you. Thanks for reading Bri.

  3. It was a difficult read for me, because of its theme. Various visions flooded in my mind but there is nothing to do about it.
    Powerful… these situations are so complex… tangled, so difficult to find a way to comfort your loved ones. I can feel your words… I can hear your voice… and that touched my heart, leaving a little bruise.

  4. lovely poem – evokes a parent’s pain over things they have no control over and wish they had, and the ticking of time passing, as those they love cannot yet find their way to peace. i have been there and the hardest part is to stand aside and let it unfold.

  5. This was a very successful departure from what you’ve done before. I liked it quite a lot. You proposed just the right amount of tention and stepped back from the pievce. Great read. >KB

  6. Watching someone fall apart before your eyes can be one of the most difficult things one has to endure, especially when they don’t realize that is what is happening. I always appreciate your honesty and openness in your poetry. The stuff of life is, to me, always interesting and relevant….even when it is painful.

    • Mary I cannot thank you enough for this wonderful compliment and feed-back. My poetry is honest and at times even too painful for me to write, but I do value life moments even though they may be harsh. All I can hope is that my daughter can pull herself out of the place she now is in. Thank you once again for your kindness.

  7. The audio is working for me 🙂 I could not understand the reference or point of view, until I got to the ending ~ As a mom, I feel you on parenting our children/teens/young adults ~ I just passed the storm with my second one, on his career choice, and I am now walking on careful steps with my youngest girl (14 yrs old) ~ I think failure has its place in educating our children but I believe in giving them choices (good ones) after listening to all sides of the story ~ Emotional and poignant all at once ~

    • thanks for letting me know Grace 🙂 Many hurdles to cross, even at my daughters age and she is 27… I was a little stressed when I wrote this, as it was straight after our ‘words’ – but then possibly a perfect time to lay bare the emotions. Thank you for reading Grace I greatly appreciate your feed-back.

      • Its good thing we have our writing to express our emotions ~ I have (small) trials with each of my children, and at different points of their lives too ~ But you know, eventually they will find their own way home ~ (I’m happy to see my 2 older boys turn into good young men) ~ Besides its their own journey now to make, mistakes are part of it as my hubby will tell me ~ I wish you luck in dealing with the situation ~

      • I think that is the hardest part, we see our children take their journey and sometimes the wrong path is walked upon. Stubbornness sets in on both sides. Even at my age I have so much to learn. Thank you Grace, I hope that something positive will emerge from yesterday. x

  8. Your voice is mesmerising, takes you in and adds to the words.
    I have never been the parent of a 21 year old boy…
    I have never been the parent of a 4 year old girl..
    There is no book, or writings to guide us parents.
    We do and act as we go..

    Beautiful Jen.. x

  9. This song won’t be off taste with everyone..But it got me thinking..
    I love this song, and your poem made me post this. I hope this is ok…
    The Lyrics are worthy I feel

  10. Great expression within the horse race metaphor of the challenges of parenting. It’s a series of contradictions, problems to solve and no handbook for any help..each unique. I didn’t find those answers. I muddled through, and now they are doing the same.

  11. Jenn, I first found your poem on Tuesday but because of circumstances wasn’t able to listen to your voice… Darned security at work blocks all media files. But am glad I found it again tonight… Tuesday when I first read the poem I was immediately struck by the intense – almost – minutia of thought within it. From absorbing that painting of those powerfully beautiful animals to melting thoughts of hooves displacing clay….. I mean the flow of visual wash that came over me as I read can only be described as having been there, laying belly down in the clay, hearing, seeing, smelling the great intensity of the beautiful beast. And then watching that massive ball of intensity transform into the greatest love ever known, that of a mother for her child, was just masterful….. Tonight I didn’t read, but just listened. And yes, incredibly emotional…. A mother’s fear, concern, desire… marvelous. Unfortunately for me your accent is almost identical to my own mother, gone these many years now. A little choking for me for that reason but I don’t mean to detract from the piece… Truly beautiful… Well done!

    • Oh my goodness John, how can I thank you for feeling this way about something that I wrote. I do not put myself in the category of those that have written for years and who mastered the skill eloquently. I started writing poetry from being encouraged by others on WP only. To have you and those that I admire take not only the time to read and to comment in this way…well it makes me blush and I am truly humbled. I hope my *voice* brings memories and comfort and no pain in the future. From my heart – Thank you so very very much.

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