What a few days it has been, I have been absent all weekend until now.
Pop wasn’t well on Thursday, I won’t go into the details…but put it this way – he needs a proper diet and to move around more than he is doing at present. He also fell out of bed 😦 2nd fall in 9 days. I spent Friday with them, giving him juices to drink and trying to get him better for the Saturday (yesterday) and his youngest Grandson’s Wedding.
Friday night we had plans in place, they were booked for the hairdressers (early 7.30am) god awful hour to be up, but they are early risers. We, Mr. S and I were to pick them up at 2.45 Saturday to drive them to the Wedding.
Later that night it all turned sour, we cancelled the taxi for the hairdressers. I tucked Pop into bed, putting a hot water bottle on his tummy, putting a wheat pack on his back to help his discomfort. I told him I would trim his hair if he was able to go and also blow wave mums (last minute strategies in place). I sat down along side him on the bed and he said “what would I do without you, but I am so over living like this”. I told him, he isn’t going anywhere yet and to work to gain his strength back.
Saturday morning and the phone call came saying he’s not any better and they couldn’t go 😦
Mr. S and I drove up to the Winery, a little windy but the sun was shining. My nephew Shaun standing nervously in the gazebo waiting for his bride to appear. The bridesmaids walked down and then Emma his gorgeous bride. I watched my young nephew, put his hand to his chest and mouth WOW. Yes, I started with the tears then. She looked stunning (as all brides do). They exchanged vows, they placed the rings, their photos were taken. We were asked for the family shot, with heals sinking into the lawn we smiled and tried to balance.
We then went stood on the decking overlooking the beautiful Winery and had canapes and champers. I could go on and on about the night how perfect everything was, but I would possible bore you all to tears even further.
I phoned mum and Pop throughout the night to see how they were.
The next door neighbour answered the phone, then got mum, who then couldn’t explain and put Pop on the phone…. he had another fall in the shower. She tried to lift him up but couldn’t. The neighbours couldn’t as they have bad backs, so they called the SES…. now for those who don’t know the SES this stands for State Emergency Services… they help out in storms etc removing fallen trees and the like. I DO NOT KNOW why they called them and not the Ambulance.
Poor Pop was then lifted out of the shower with some device onto a stretcher, they then called the Ambo’s and back he went to the Hospital. They did the battery of tests as last time and nothing showing as to why he fell. I was in tears outside at the venue, as I spoke to him, friends and daughters came to my aid. They were wonderful.
Today I went over there at 7.45am…got to sleep at 1am…. I am so tired right now. He has no injuries apart from his pride a little from being ‘hoisted like a tree trunk’ as he put it from the shower stark naked.
So there was so much happiness mixed with sadness yesterday. We (my brother and I ) have instigated talks about more care being required … tis a good thing.
2 other things upset me yesterday – I have a beautiful marquee set gold diamond ring, I had it enlarged a few weeks ago to fit another finger and wore it out once 2 weeks ago. I went to put it on yesterday and…no diamond. I cried, I bought this for myself as a 40th birthday present. I don’t know if it’s possible that the jeweller did something to the claws that held the diamond, but I am visiting him tomorrow to ask.
The other thing… both my girls looked amazing at the Wedding and mum didn’t take a photo 😦 Hopefully when we get a copy of the group shot I shall be able to put up. So disappointed, but I guess it’s not like they aren’t going to ever ‘dress-up’ ever again.
Mumsy
xx
Ramblings From A Mum 
I hope your father feels better soon. Weddings are quite sensitive occasions (emotionally)… aren’t they!?
And I didn’t receive your e-mail. The id is: hamusesanewtune@gmail.com (ha muses a new tune).
thank you so much HA Yes it was a day with varied emotions. Sad and happy, mainly happy which was a good thing.
I actually posted it to the email on your contact me page?
I am sorry but I didn’t receive it. Can you please send it to the e-mail id mentioned in the previous comment?
Certainly – thank you HA 🙂
Sorry you’re going through such a roller coaster ride. We got called out at 2.30am last night because mum had a fall. She has Vital call. Thankfully nothing major. Hope things settle down soon for you and your parents.
Hi Jude – thanks hun. Are they the pendants they wear? I am investigating into these. I think here they are med-alert? Can program 5 numbers into them and can be worn in the shower etc? Sorry to hear about your mum – and so happy nothing major. It’ such a time isn’t it 😦 xx
Yes, she has a pendant that she presses when she’s in trouble. Vital Call then have a list of numbers to call when the button is pressed. We are number 1 on the list, then there’s a neighbour and some friends. They also called the ambulance last night who got her up and she was tucked in bed by the time we got there. You also need to think about a key safe so the ambos can get in if your parents can’t get to the door. Hang in there, Jen :).
I didn’t think of the key safe – as they ALWAYS have their doors locked. I shall look into this tomorrow – thanks Jude, I shall try…it’s always on the daughters isn’t it… xxx
You’ve had a helluva time. Happiness and sadness, one making the other more evocative. You must be on a rollercoaster of emotions right now. So stressful when all life has still to go on.
Your poor mum and dad must be out of their minds too with worry about his health and also how it’s affecting the family.
It’s never an easy time. But, I can tell you, looking after a parent in later years is one of the greatest privileges I have ever been granted. To have been there for my mum after all her years of being there for me was a gift.
Keep your light burning. Find release in your blog when you can. Let the emotions spill here.
I’ll pray for you and your family. Namaste.x
Thank you so much ..what shall I call you Scottish – Momus – Scots? Yes, unfortunately it has been a trying few months of late, Pop (my dad) is 86, Mum is 84. Both live in there own home, close to me..but I am pretty much on call. I love being there for them, but it can be draining and tiring also. That is what I said to Pop when he said he couldn’t go on, I am now doing for you what you did for me. I am not one to hold back as you will see…. quite prolific in my writing and emotions…sometimes to the detriment of my poor readers who are on the roller coaster with me. 😦 Thank you though and Namaste to you x
Call me whatever. A few people call me Scottie. That works for me. 🙂
I do rollercoasters. 7 weans ensures that. So let it all go. It is tough. Especially when you need a break and you’re ‘it’.
If you don’t take much needed respite you won’t sustain the need. So, who can you call for extra assistance? Are there care workers available to pop in and relieve some of the load. All help taken gratefully, take it. :)x
Scottie it is 🙂 I love the word weans I have a Scottish girlfriend here and she says it al the time.
I am going to organise more care from the council – they get one woman in for 1.5 hrs per fortnight… who cleans a toilet – a shower and washes the floors…
I’m not working at present as I am in the throes of being a Humanist (Funeral Civil Celebrant) so I have time during the day…for now, but I am going to see what else can be done so I don’t burn out. My brother though helpful..well not quite the same. Get your seat-belt fastened 🙂 x
I’m in for the ride! Ticket bought. :)x
You are so sweet- thank you x
Who mentioned chocolate? Now I gotta have some.;)x
I just did 😉 x
Oh this hurt my heart to read…just the emotion I could feel. It is so hard dealing with a parent who is aging or sick.Have you considered a part-time nurse? I am not sure how things are done by you but if possible it might be looking into.
At least you were able to have some good moments at the wedding. Sending you big hugs.
Hello Anja, it was an up and down day and night. The Wedding was gorgeous, the moments talking to Pop …
I am going to look at more care from the Council. They can have a Carer that at least comes in to shower them (especially Pop) mum is physically better off at the moment. It’s a trying time and won’t get easier unfortunately. I am so glad I can release in my writing and that I have friends and support of many on here. Thank you hugs are always needed x
Sorry to hear you’ve been having such a rough time and that you’re father has been having it tough too. I hope things settle and that you can have a greater sense of security about your parents when you aren’t there. My parents had a Medi-Alert system which worked pretty well, especially as there were 3 keyholders (people including me, who lived very close by) phoned before further action was instigated. The importance of wearing the pendant can’t be underestimated, though, and is something that is so easily forgotten.
Hello and thank you for your kindness. I am definitely going to look into these tomorrow. Especially for Pop who could fall at anytime and mum wouldn’t possibly hear him. They are trying so desperately to stay on in their home and be independent..but it’s getting harder for both of them and my brother and I. We do what we can and have to, that is our role, but anything that can help us and them is worthy of investigating. Thank you so much for your advise – greatly appreciated. x
i see a lot of good in this even though there were many challenging things, the diamond can be replaced, but your two daughters together at a happy event, makes me very happy. (and i suspect it made you a bit happy too) this is a wonderful thing you can take from this weekend.
Hello sweet thing. Yes… there were glimmers of shining – the diamond can be replaced – though now I think I will go through Insurance, though I won’t be able to retrieve it’s full value and use the money for ongoing bills. The girls – yes happy that they were together and civil..but they hardly spoke if at all. Kayla and I have just had a dynamic fight… it’s all going a tad downhill right now 😦 xx
i am so sorry, i was hopeful with your post, i know that is so hard.
deep breath and drying of eyes and the need to write now…. thank you Beth…I only wish I had the opportunity to meet you and everyone else who has been so supportive and kind to me… xxx
you are in a hard place right now,with many you so love being off of their game and you the emotional juggler who tries to keep all the balls in the air. let yourself off a bit when you can. my friend is now beginning a lecture circuit with something she’s written called, ‘the sandwich generation,’ about those caught in the middle, care taking for parents and children (grown or not) and the struggles with all of it. she has a very humorous and caring take on all of it, having lived it. when she gets something on tape i’ll forward it to you. family is the bread on both sides and you are the cheese and filling stuffed in between. maybe squeeze out for a bit as often as possible. i’ve been in this very place as you know. even though we haven’t met, i’m with you and have your back.
ok I am saying this publicly I LOVE YOU!!
I would love the tape. Yes, I am the filling in the middle and I just hope enough of me is not squeezed so much that I fall on the floor and no help to anyone. Thank you Beth…thank you xxx
aw, you make me blush. ) when you get squeezed out take that as an opportunity to do something just for you and the rest will take care of itself for a bit.
don’t blush – I mean what I say – I shall try..I shall try xx
caring for your father…i see i was not far off in that last poem…i am sorry and i hope he gets better….that is not an easy position to be in at all…
yes Brian you were right. Thank you, no it’s a tough time for him and me. We hopefully will be able to get more care in their home for them, I have been busy today organising…and more organising. Thanks Brian – really.
Sending tight hugs and love.
welcomed – thank you gorgeous xx
Gosh – such a mixed day, Rambly. I had a feeling something was off and sent you an email. So sorry to hear about your dad and your ring and to also experience a beautiful wedding at the same time – it’s such a poignant example of how life is both beautiful and cruel. I agree with curtain raiser that a medic alert pendant or bracelet might be an alternative. I hope your dad is feeling better. His comment to you was heart-breaking. *Hugs* , my friend.
Hello darling. I had so much to do today that I ran out of time to phone about the pendant. 😦 tomorrow – tomorrow. I didn’t fall to sleep till 4am then up at 8 to take dad to the eye specialist… Thank you for your email – this is what I love about the people that I have met on WP. To think that you and others email me when I haven’t been around for a while to check up on me…. how do I say thank you for that? I honestly have tears writing this, because I am so lucky to have people that are so unbelievably caring and all I can say is that I am so lucky for meeting you and others who care. People whom I have never met. From the bottom of my heart – thank you my friend (hugs) a thousand fold back to you. xxx
I think everything’s been said that I would say so, *HUGS* xx
Thank you my darling and also for your HUGS typed/virtual – they mean the world to me xxx
I know what you are going thru and I am aware that it is a tough time for you…..glad the wedding went well for you..Hang in there Jenny.
Thank you Summers. I’m just a bit teary right now… so thank you. x
Michael’s pleasure…
*smiles* – thank you Michael x
Your poor dad. Those lifters are not very dignified at the best of times let along being naked.
What about a shower chair – proper one with rubber feet so it doesn’t slip. Are there modifications in the shower? A hand rail would make things a bit easier, as would one of those hand held shower things if they haven’t already got one.
It’s so hard….dignity is so very important for everyone, no matter your age, but especially for the elderly, but safety is vital.
What a weekend, such a mixture of happiness and worry. Weddings always make me cry.
I understood hun, no I don’t think there was any dignity involved. He remembers his legs giving way and mum just saying don’t fall..don’t fall as he slid down. He has a hand rail but I found out today they use a hand held shower rose, so he washes with one hand and holds the shower and therefore not holding the rail 😦 I told him today that he must leave the hand held thing on the wall so he can hold the rails. 😦 Thank you sweety, yes I want him..both of them to retain their dignity as much as possible. Yes it was and as the days emerge more things come up that are worrying. I am so happy that I have friends on here that I can vent to…it’s an open diary…but I need it – so thank you. xxx
A shower chair sounds like the go, then both hands could be free….but I sense that there are more things to consider. It must be very hard Jen, logistically and emotionally.
Vent as you need to. We all need to sometimes.
Thank you sweet, yes the shower chair so investigating that. He has an appointment with his Neurologist on the 29th, I feel it is the new medication he is on for his shaking hands, that is causing the dizzy spells and his heavy legs. Just so much to organise and yes emotionally draining whilst also contending with an argumentative daughter at present 😦 Appreciate your help Trace – thank you. x
That was supposed to be….let alone….
I am so very sorry your Dad is not doing well I will send prayers for his health to impove as well as more rest for all of you HUGS and Love
Thank you E so very much. Hugs and love are always welcome and I appreciate your kindness and support xxx
Hang in there HUGS
xx
My dear MM, what you describe above sure sounds like LIFE to me with its beauty & its sadness & all emotions involved. I hope you do find a suitable solution for all regarding your Pop. Better days will come, I am sure. Lots and lots of love, xxx
Thank you my darling T – I’m sorry I haven’t visited for a little while. Yes I’m in for the long haul and hope that his life will be made easier soon for him and mum. xxx {hugs}
Fun fun fun, we spend our lives chasing our tails so hard when being beaten about the head with the problems to see the beauty and the point of life …. but it is there the fact that you were there to hold your Dad’s hand and help your mum, and see your nephews face when he saw his bride! the fact you saw you lovely daughters looking brilliant . You can’t see it now, none of us do at the time, yet you are blessed. Chin up chick all will be well. xx
Thank you Willow – yes I have been rather consumed by taking care of my little penguins as I call them. Now thank fully we have a shower chair and also a toilet chair device (both higher up) so Pop doesn’t have to struggle to get to his feet. Yes my nephews face was priceless and my girls looked beautiful. I do see it now just got a little foggy when I got the phone call that he had fallen. 😦 I’m slowing down on the tail chasing – thanks sweety for your kind remarks. xx