I am cold, death, silently tapped at my door
your weighted tears drop heavily on my cheeks
my parched lips tried to speak
tried to say ~ don’t cry
I wanted to ~ you know that ~ don’t you?
crazy things swept through my head
I didn’t get to tell you my favourite flower
or the song that meant the world to me
or the poem for my Eulogy
why didn’t I say these things before?
would you have written them down
or thought it silly ~ we were too young
to lock these ‘things’ to memory
important now ~ yet not before
but ~ does it really matter?
today I say goodbye
flowers on my coffin, cremating me with
reverence, I pray I’m not forgotten
my girls are crying ~ be strong
can’t you hear my voice?
one more chance to say how I’ll miss you
death ~ life’s circle coming to an end
conceived, live and die, we cannot pretend
we are immune, my time came to soon
the universe made the call
but, in a way I’m ok with that ~ does that sound
stupid to say those words, it’s you I’ve left
behind to grieve, I watch you in the front row
the crumpled tissues that you use
will you grab each other’s hand?
I listen as you struggle with
words you read out loud ~ be brave
a minute or two and it will pass
I’m with you still, I’m here ~ I am
I’ll try and stop your pain ~ I will
as I lay on satin, in darkness
no longer cold, today my body lies here
but not accompanied by my soul
for that has lifted into clouds
can you spread my ashes far and wide to the ocean that I love?
I’m smiling ~ you can’t see me
the ocean at sunset, my last plea
be happy, my love ~ my girls
I am near you ~ I will never leave
©jmtacken Oct 15 2013
Apologies for any birds ‘singing’ in the background outside my window.