2 days and a few hours to go my dear friends.
I have spent since Thursday, writing, re-writing and reading the Service.
Saturday morning I visited the local Health Food Shop, I was suffering anxiety badly. My chest and diaphragm were in knots continually. I now have a Flower Essence spray and some wonderful herbal tablets that I actually believe are working and if they are only a placebo….I’m running with it.
It took me over two and a half hours to ask the relevant questions and 10 hours to write the Eulogy and possibly tomorrow when I read it again, I shall tweak a few words and lines here and there.
I am so very happy though, as this afternoon I had to read it through to one of the family members (the daughter-in-law). This was needed in case any of my scribbled notes needed any adjustment. When I had finished, there was silence on the end of the phone. My stomach dropped. I then said that is the completion…waiting for her to say something, then she did..
“I am crying, that was so lovely. It was wonderful”. She went on to say ” I am glad that I heard it now, if I would have heard it for the first time on Wednesday, I would be a mess”.
Do you know how I felt when she said those words? I don’t think I can even explain at this point.
So now I go over and over and read and read in the hope of memorising some of it. Hope that my legs don’t collapse under me , or I run out of the Chapel, arms flapping in the air throwing the script to the ground yelling “I can’t… I can’t” on Wednesday.
Sorry once again for not being able to read and comment on posts, but this is so much in my head, that my muse has now gone on vacation.
Normal services (pardon that pun) will resume by Wednesday night if I’m not sitting in a corner somewhere, drink in hand.