2 days and a few hours to go my dear friends.
I have spent since Thursday, writing, re-writing and reading the Service.
Saturday morning I visited the local Health Food Shop, I was suffering anxiety badly. My chest and diaphragm were in knots continually. I now have a Flower Essence spray and some wonderful herbal tablets that I actually believe are working and if they are only a placebo….I’m running with it.
It took me over two and a half hours to ask the relevant questions and 10 hours to write the Eulogy and possibly tomorrow when I read it again, I shall tweak a few words and lines here and there.
I am so very happy though, as this afternoon I had to read it through to one of the family members (the daughter-in-law). This was needed in case any of my scribbled notes needed any adjustment. When I had finished, there was silence on the end of the phone. My stomach dropped. I then said that is the completion…waiting for her to say something, then she did..
“I am crying, that was so lovely. It was wonderful”. She went on to say ” I am glad that I heard it now, if I would have heard it for the first time on Wednesday, I would be a mess”.
Do you know how I felt when she said those words? I don’t think I can even explain at this point.
So now I go over and over and read and read in the hope of memorising some of it. Hope that my legs don’t collapse under me , or I run out of the Chapel, arms flapping in the air throwing the script to the ground yelling “I can’t… I can’t” on Wednesday.
Sorry once again for not being able to read and comment on posts, but this is so much in my head, that my muse has now gone on vacation.
Normal services (pardon that pun) will resume by Wednesday night if I’m not sitting in a corner somewhere, drink in hand.
xx
Ramblings From A Mum 
smiles…thanks for the update…and i am so glad it is coming together nicely for you…and i am sure it will be a blessing to those that hear it as it obviously was for her….now breath deep….all will be well…
Hello Brian ~ smiles back. It is now past 12 and I am so very tired. If only I could take an oxygen mask in with me …. thank you for your wonderful encouragement and support, it means a great deal ~ smiles (tiredly)
You will do just fine don’t put too much into it now RELAX we know you have a gift with words.
Deep breath – relax…calm…nope it ain’t working – – from my gift of words 😉 – thank you Ex
🙂
You are going to do great Mumsy. So some tips from someone that talks before large groups…. Speak slowly, it is easy to rush with nerves. Establish eye contact with people, keep this contact for a moment then move to another person, this make them think you are talking to them. Pause at times to allow things to settle, let them catch up.
As for anxiety, hmmm oh I know about this too 🙂 you can email if you wish. Distracting exercise is good. It burns that anxiety up. Do you have a pool you can go to? Breathing exercises for when it is overpowering. Deep cleansing breath that you hold for as long as you can (no purple faces though) and then release slowly, keep doing this until you feel calmer, it doesn’t happen right away, but it happens. Concentrate on the breathing only, let the other thoughts fade away, they will if you deeply concentrate on only breathing.
Is your back aching? neck?
*hugssssssssss* you are going to be awesome!
Love
Amber
Yes I have put // where I am to pause to remind me not to rush through. The breathing and plenty of t will be done I am sure. No no pool – me bathers???? No body parts seem to be okay which is surprising as normally my shoulders burn – maybe the tablets helping?
Thank you for the hugs – I just want to get it done now and not wait and longer!
Appreciate all your advice and positives – thanks honey. 🙂 xx
Your shoulders burn because when anxious we tense muscles. We need to take time to relax them through the day when this happens.
You really will do great though Mumsy. 🙂
I am trying everything possible – so far no issues with shoulders – thankfully.
Thank you sweety 🙂 xx
You are going to do wonderfully well Jen.
Thank you my friend 🙂
best of luck and you will surprise yourself with how incredibly good you are at this. ps – please do not respond )
🙂 xx (couldn’t help myself)
An old belly dance teacher of mine taught us how to breathe to release tension. Take a deep breath in through your nose and as you release it do so somewhat forcefully through your mouth and as you do so, make a sound…. You know…..a big audible sigh kind of noise, or whatever noise comes out 🙂 Do this several times visualising all that pent up energy being forced OUT from within – it works! (Not a good idea to do in public though co’s you sound kinda crazy, lol!)
Thanks Tracy – I hall do this in the car as I wait to begin. Yep, if I did it when I stood up I would look a tad crazy (rolls eye-balls) perhaps my loud audible will be H..E..L..P!!!!! 😉 Thanks for the tip hun. xx
I’ll be thinking of you and wishing you well! 🙂
appreciated – thank you hun xx:-D
Sorry I’ve missed out on so much of your goings-on of late.
Sounds like you’ve found your calling for sure, dear.
Your Heart will shine through.
You’ll be awesome.
Of this I am totally confident.
Thank you so much JCC – you have been a quiet bunny in my neck of the woods – but life gets in the way, it’s like we are swinging on a vine through the forest trying to grab onto something stationery as we fly through the air…hell I do not know where that came from. I do appreciate your kind words and also for popping over *smiles*
Don’t know where that came from either, but now I have visions of giant marsupial/primate Rabbits swinging through the Jungle and swiping madly at dangling Fruits as they pass by!
What a vision.
Love It.
I’m glad….you must write about it then 😉
And Yes. That is totally how I feel most of the time these days.
Me too with this on my plate…back to normal transmission Wednesday night …hopefully, 🙂
You’ll do wonderfully. You see this … You know this. It’s who you are.
Come on girl.
Oh Mumsy! Now I know what’s going on with you.
You are wonderful with words and have soothed me many many times. You won’t get this until the service is over. I’m sitting with you having that drink, as I know it’s to celebrate how well you went. Love to you, Paula xxxx
Thanks sweety about to post how it went xxxx