Can I sing Hallelujah!
The day as told by Mumsy –
- Woke up early, ‘faffed’ about, with a lot of pacing. Changed part of the Eulogy, as was thinking about it in bed last night, that I had to move a paragraph or two.
- Got daughter to move said paragraphs and reprint. Had cig.
- Swallowed more health food tablet relaxers – meant to have 4 a day I had 5 in the morning…wasn’t taking any chances.
- Showered, dressed, pinned my name badge on my jacket. Respectfully dressed in black linen pants, black suit jacket , black shoes and a mustard colour top underneath (sounds terrible but it’s okay~trust me).
- Paced, breathed, inhaled, exhaled making noises.
- Had another cig (mybad I know) more pacing.
- Time had come to leave – wanted to ‘call in’ – sick.
- Packed briefcase and drove away, all the time self mantra’s of – I can do this – I will be excellent. I will not fail, going through my head.
- Arrived and finally found a car spot – arrived an hour early.
- Walked up to group of people and as they saw my badge – realised who I was.
- Daughter in law and son came up to me and a kiss on the cheek (don’t know if that’s normal for a Celebrant) but we had talked over the phone quite a bit and it seemed natural.
- I went inside and paced and went to the loo twice, then paced some more. Doing the A E I O U exercises (quietly).
- The ‘gathering room’ overlooked a lake so I stood at the window..more ‘mantra-ing’.
- The FD Assistant Robyn arrived – introductions. I asked her about presenting to the coffin and where do I stand at the end, she said I could do what I felt was right and told me to breathe (I must have looked as if I wasn’t at that stage) and she assured me I would be fine…..uh huh…sure…
- I walked up and looked at the woman lying in the coffin, the woman who I had never known, that I wrote about and said this is for you Josie.
- The family came in for the viewing.
- The rest came in and sat down.
- Robyn and I walked between the seats, manoeuvring around 2 pushers that 2 young mums left in the way….
- Presented and I walked to the Lectern.
- Started (am I too close to the microphone…too far??)
- Made a couple of furfies with some words 2 – possibly 3 times throughout. Never try to say ‘Joke Telling Tradition’ as it ends up Joke Trelling tradition – I corrected and moved on.
- Introduced the granddaughter, she said a poem and recited a memory. though a few tears, she did well.
- My real boo-boo was – my cup of water was on her right hand side and I was standing on her left and as she was reading I reached behind her and grabbed the cup, realising well that will look good in the recording…damn it!
- There were a few laughs and also tears, a combination which was accepted.
- Finished and Wind Beneath My Wings was the closing song. It started and half way through I went and stood facing the coffin at the front. Then I bowed my head in respect, until the curtain closed.
- I then turned to face the Assembly, reassuring smiles and small nods of “It’s ok”.
- Robyn was behind them all, facing me…….. she gave me a thumbs up!! I couldn’t believe it.
- Then she walked up and stood by me, announcing that the ceremony had finished and for them to go into the adjoining tea rooms.
- Everyone started filing out, one elderly gentleman (I don’t know if a relative or friend) hung back and whilst Robyn was standing next to me (remember she was judging my performance) came up to me took my hand and said “That was really beautiful”. Do you know how I felt then? I was smiling inside and out and graciously thanked him.
- I was invited back for a coffee with the family and stood rather awkwardly, wanting to leave them alone. One lady came up and said that I was wonderful. Another said you have such a beautiful speaking voice, I have heard some celebrants and they sound like fish wives, you did a beautiful job thank you. Then another said the same.
- Robyn then came up to me as I was leaving and said “You know I did have my doubts, with this being your first service, but you did a really wonderful job and I will be recommending you!”
So my friends – I did it, I got through and as I sit and write, I’m pretty pleased with how I did, though I think the adrenalin is still cursing through my veins as I have more butterflies now than this morning.
I want to thank ALL OF YOU for your encouragement, your support and your kindness and really your comments HELPED ME GET THROUGH THIS. So ….thank you from my ‘beaty thing’.