Crosswords (Prose)

several scotches make my brain swirl

and I bleed,  not blood poured out from veins

but the spillage of a bond between a parent and her child

the insults, the doubts of a child,  who thinks I’ve done her wrong

cut me to the core, I wonder of her upbringing and what I have done to cause….

to make her feel this way and yet I cry the tears of mammoths as words spill from my heart

the indecisiveness of words said, of gestures that have been harsh, the solution not being reached

and in this moment, this now, when a discussion has been ceased, the words of a mother to the one she

loves don’t mean a thing

 

©jmtacken 21/11/2013

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38 thoughts on “Crosswords (Prose)

  1. Being parent and child can be a hard gig on any day.
    you express so well the pain you feel tonight
    you are lucky though despite how you feel, there are out there
    those who will reach out
    show they care
    you hang in there…

    • …tears – thank you – there are so many on WP who are facing far more challenges than I and I think myself stupid and menial for posting my thoughts, but being a writer…I have to, this is my release and I apologise.

      • Never apologise, we in blog land want to know the real you, sometimes its good to hang out our dirty linen so to speak, its your release and our way of knowing you a little better. If we didn’t like it we wouldn’t comment.

  2. I have raised four children. I know less today than when I began. I learn to stay silence unless my words are helpful. I made a thousand plus mistakes. I believe kids must learn the hard way like we did. As parent we must love our children for the good and the bad. Hard to do. The kids are part of us. We want happiness and success. Patience is a great virtue. Hard to maintain when we need to love and protect our children. A very good topic. Open the door to a long conversation.

    • Thank you John, firstly for visiting, reading and your comments. So many things that need to be said…that sometimes shouldn’t be said..I guess that’s why I named this Crosswords…or perhaps it should have been Cross-roads. I appreciate your thoughts truly. It’s not easy being a parent no matter what the age of the child…silence is meant to be golden..but then we need to break that..to break down the barriers. Thank you.

  3. i feel and understand your pain, it never leaves your side. it is not what you have done, or not done, or could or should have done. it is within her, and she will one day return, perhaps not in the timeline you hope, but in her own. all you can do for now is to go on with your life, living it as fully as you can, while the time goes by until her return.

  4. All this is so hard to bare , please remember however vile or harsh her words or actions seem they are not hers they are the words and actions of the illness. I am sorry this is a huge cross to bare. send you love! xx

    • especially when they suffer from ‘things’ and don’t know how to cope. It was a tough one – I am glad the words have calmed down now ~ for however long..is anyone’s guess. {hugs back to you my friend for your kindness}

  5. My daughter is still small but I still find myself questioning and rethinking some of my parenting choices, she is at that age of imitation so that adds a lot of pressure. Being a parent is hard and sometimes doing the right thing meets with resistance and conflict. I am terrified of the teenage years to be honest. Very emotional and heartfelt piece (hugs)

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