always knock twice (Prose)

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you knock once
knuckling the wood grain
I stand
chipped enamel scratches
unpainted floorboards
stub my cigarette
hard against the lacquered saucer
it’s mate broken years ago
                ~~
step slow to the door
head tilted view
through curtains of chiffon
to make sure it was you
its been months
since you were here
               ~~
perfumed gin hangs on my breath
I wont stand so close
you are here for just one reason
to take the kid to a circus
trying to make up for
times you never showed
you knock once more
patience
not your strong point
             ~~
“Alright” I yell
“Keep your shirt on”, slurred
I wonder if you’ll notice
my mind flashes back to
better times
how you looked without
a shirt
“Nathan”, I scream
“Your father’s here
Jesus,  are you ready?”
                ~~
I hear you shuffle from
your room, hair not brushed
mud caked jeans from yesterday
t shirt with the coca-cola stain
I forgot to spray
before I washed
“Crap, look at the state of you
can’t you dress in something clean
your dad ‘ill think I’m unfit to
look after you”
                 ~~
“This is what’s clean”
you murmur, head bowed
I long for another sip of gin
“You ready mate”, he asks
as if our yesterdays did not exist
“Perhaps a shopping trip along the way?”
you smile
arms around his shoulders
walking out the door
I watch the car pull away
reach for the bottle
forgetting any future
forgetting  every past
                 ~~
©jmtacken Jan 2014
Photo Credit: Flickr and jcoterhals
I couldn’t find a photo of a little boy with muddy jeans and T, but his little face was too adorable to pass up
and thank you to Brian Miller from WaystationOne for the poke here and there.

30 thoughts on “always knock twice (Prose)

  1. Your female persona is in a bit of a state in this one Jenny, then again we have all been in that place where the child comes out in the worst possible dress. Lovely use of dialogue and description.

    • Thanks Bec, I had a little help and so glad I do, Brian is an amazing poet and guides me as to what he would like to see in what I write, this was the result. Glad you were there, means a lot as a writer. 🙂 xxx

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