Blue (with Audio)


As a diminutive mountain range, her skin peaks
and troughs on feeble hands that tremor
untouched by rushing air
her legs weak, flat black shoes
adorn arthritic feet
with grim determination, she stands
holding fast the cupboard door,  that he
painted not so long ago

Her moistened eyes close against
her wrinkled cheeks, her curled grey hair
rests against the jacket of brown tweed that she 
clutches to her heart
this jacket, worn with cream pants and
beige shirt, he always had to coordinate
his clothes laid out across their bed
all those years, all those mornings

she never asked if he liked blue

Saying goodbye, not remembering words spoken
staring at the photograph of the man she loved
the flowers, words of sympathy washed over her
like astronomic waves trying to drown her pain
holding his jacket to her mouth, she breathed
his scent, without cologne, kissed the fibres
that were him, till the wool grew wet
smelling the man she loved, who gave her love
she folds, with upmost care and trembling fingers
placing it inside the box

and wondered ~ if he liked blue

©jmtacken 6/4/2014

Sharing with –   Prompt 50 –  Today’s prompt is grim determination.

I did another recording, only because I really felt this needed to be spoken. I really appreciated everyone’s comments on my last one, however I did not do this again for praise on how I speak.

I apologise for the size of the box, I don’t know how to minimise it.

50 thoughts on “Blue (with Audio)

  1. Jenny, this is a beautiful poem. The language could be tightened a bit but it is the work of someone who cares about people and language and telling their stories. I have to say you have suddenly, though by steps I watched, blossomed into a very fine poet. I mean this sincerely. No one could be happier for you than I. Best, keep writing even when it isn’t good. >KB

    • I do have the propensity to rattle on a bit at times and yes I know what you mean by tightening it up, but can I just say thank you, you, the poet that you are, my heart is now pounding a happy beat and I am smiling at your words of encouragement and compliment. I shall keep writing, I feel myself evolving and I am loving the process – thank you KB.

      • Jenny, in all honesty I am not someone special. I will say I have been gifted to some extent but no more than you may be from what I am reding. I have worked at what I do longer, have made more mistakes, had more failures. I am, just a regular real person whose life is entangled in poetry and wanting to say something to people that might make a difference in their lives. Thank you though. >KB

      • I praise for a reason, as I said you and other poets, who I have met on WP have been supportive and encouraging. I am learning different ways to write now than I ever thought possible and I am grateful for the knowledge that you and others impart. You are welcome ~ smiles

  2. oh i love the way you speak, ha, you know i said that because you said not too. smiles.
    seriously a great piece jenny, i would have to agree that you have taken some
    serious steps in your poetry the last couple months—the smelling of the jacket was very evocative
    to me….smiles.

    • cheeky bugga…smiles, yes I know you did
      Your comment means a great deal to me, I am pretty over awed by what you and KB have said and other readers. I am starting to see a difference, after 18 months of writing and it’s through your help, support and encouragement and that of other poets on WP that I continue to enjoy the process more and more. So thank you Brian, I have a huge smile this morning (before I tackle study) and that can only be a good thing. PS I liked the jacket part too just quietly… Smiles

  3. Jenny, this really got to me as I worked with the elderly for so much of my nursing career (and now, here I am). You have been able to see and express the beauty in an aging Iove. Deeply touching.

    • Hello Vick, thank you, I placed myself in mums shoes and wondered how she would be packing away the clothes of Pop. I know about mouses they have minds of their own 😉 all good and appreciate you reading and your kindness x

  4. I’m glad you read this one Jen. You’re so right, it did need read aloud. It was so heart wrenching. Just wondering that one simple question….she can no longer ask…. Well done.

  5. Jen, there is truly a transformation happening in your poetry,
    like astronomic waves trying to drown her pain
    holding his jacket to her mouth, she breathed
    his scent, without cologne, kissed the fibres
    that were him, till the wool grew wet
    smelling the man she loved, who gave her love

    incredible imagery, the entire poem is as special.
    this might be atop the list of my favorites of yours.

    • I am flattered thank you so much, reading your work and others I am learning from all of you and it makes me smile to know I am transforming. The only issue is to keep up the momentum and get another favourite ! Appreciated Jack.

      • you are most welcome, i’ve been seeing it for weeks now and hesitated to say anything,
        not wanting to make you too conscious of it. creativity is a very fragile thing, but i
        saw others mention it upthread so i decided to add my voice to the chorus. and i’m
        sorry to have not mentioned anything about the audio, i have a brand new Apple
        computer and i can’t get the sound cloud to play the audio. i’ll keep at it though…tenacity!

      • I am grateful that you mentioned it, for as I coast along trying and preserving I don’t know if I am making progress. To have you, Brian and KB mention that they are seeing a difference, well you have no idea how much it means to me. We both started writing not that long ago, so having your work read, let alone noticed or complimented on is truly amazing. Do not apologise for not saying anything sooner, I am humbled that you mentioned at all, so thank you, so very much.

      • yes, it is an amazing thing, this Circle of Encouragement we are so lucky to be members of.
        i began seeing in very subtle changes, in phrases weeks ago about the time i called you poetess.

        it’s not always easy to put a word on it, it’s as if your poetry is going beyond just the definition of words.
        there is a very suggestive and layered feel to your phrases, there is air in your imagery allowing the reader
        to wander, it’s a very ethereal thing and not easy to accomplish or for this novice to describe. but this poem
        is everything i’m trying to say. so keep at it Jen, tenacity is the word of the day! the results speak for themselves.

      • I remember that moment well and I felt privileged to be named one. I wish I could see the layers and the air in the imagery. I will be tenacious, but now must not feel ‘unaccomplished’ if I write something that isn’t worthy. That in itself is a circle isn’t it. Thank you my friend for taking the time to explain, to show and to encourage. Let us forever remain in this Circle -~ hugs

  6. This is just perfect…the recording makes it even more poignant!! Hearing your voice with your accent (I know, I know, I’m the one with an accent but still) I was missing my friend who moved back to Aussi. The recordings really do breathe life in the poem.

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