shattered change

by

in the ordinary, I would see them
fine spun droplets
feathering down your cheek

in the ordinary, they were
from laughter, joy or pride
smiles from stories told

memories were shared in
those droplets, sheer
as crystal

words are hard to hear
now as glass shatters
and you don’t know why

you have changed, you
are lost, apology, the words
I love you echo on the phone

the droplets turn to shards
feathering down your cheek
as they pierce the changes
that you fear

copyright JMTacken 30.4.2104

I won’t explain this, but it may not make sense to those who read. This is my only way of describing a situation, that happened a couple of days ago. A bit of time away, so my first write in 8 days.

43 thoughts on “shattered change”

  3. I sensed that you were referring to painful tears and an unhappy rift, where once you would have been able to provide solace. Whatever you were referring to, I just want to say how great your writing is, and I loved this poem especially!

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    • You are pretty much correct Merryn. Mum suffers from dementia and a telephone conversation ended rather abruptly the other day (by her) she then phoned in tears saying she was sorry and didn’t know why she hung up on me.The days change so often now, one good, one not so… thank you so much for visiting and your kind comments, I do appreciate them. x

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      • That is so sad and so hard to bear, I’m sure. Grandad only had dementia diagnosed for about a year or so before he died and I remember the toll it took on Mum. So very hard when they get frustrated and angry because you don’t know if they have changed permanently or whether it is the dementia speaking.

      • Merryn, mum had several small strokes ..none of us knew. No other signs at all, but it affected her memory. Pop has to deal with her moods now and they range from the sublime to the ridiculous unfortunately. She knows not why she gets angry or snaps and that is the sad part. It sucks getting old and what they have to accept as part of their life now, thank you for your kindness.

    • Thank you Karen, you are so sweet. It was to do with mum, I left the explanation on Tess’s comment. Her memory..her mood swings now… today it is better, it is one day at a time I’m afraid. Thank you again x

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    • Thank you darling, yes I guess it can be interpreted in many ways. It was to do with mum and one of her anger moods on a phone call, which she didn’t know afterwards why she did it… Hugs xxx

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      • Yes I guessed that was it but hesitated to say so. It is so painful to receive such treatment from your mum. There is a saying ‘there is nothing sharper than a serpent’s tongue than an rebuke from an ungrateful child’ I can’t remember the exact words but you get the drift. I believe that, that is true also of parent’s tongues. Sadly even though you know and your mum fleetingly knows she did not mean it it was the illness speaking. Be brave hun I know your load is heavy. Sending you patience and love xxx

      • I appreciate your patience and love sweetheart. Yes, mum has no idea why she is like this now, or forgets what is said in anger. I have heard that saying before, you are right and it does go both ways unfortunately. I shall be brave and face each new day as it comes. Thank you Willow Hugs special lady xxxxx

  9. i am glad to see you found your pen…
    tears come for many a reason…cleansing, joy, pain.
    change is inevitable as well…hard to be there for one
    that is far away and you can only feel those tears
    through the phone.

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    • Hello Bri, thank you my friend. It has been a little while, but I think I have now located it, though I am slowing down a tad. Mum lives close, but to hear her cry and apologise for hanging up, when she didn’t know why she did it, was tough..Yesterday was better, hoping for more of those days.

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    • Thank you honey, it’s good to be back, though I know I won’t be writing as often now. (My readers can breathe a sigh of relief) 🙂 She is sweety, thank you…one day at a time xx

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  12. Tender. Those droplets could turn themselves into so many forms at different times… and it is we who change our ways so to comply by them. Sad and beautiful. Isn’t it always so!? I wonder…
    🙂

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    • Our tears are soft and tender, it is how they are brought about, or what we are feeling when we shed them, that makes the difference. Thank you Anmol – appreciate your kindness again for reading.

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    • Hello my dear friend ..yes all is well for the moment, one day at a time I’m afraid. She can change like the wind. Appreciate your wonderful comment as usual you are so kind, thank you and hugs.

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  15. I hope all goes well and that things can get back to the ‘ordinary’ which was so much better than the challenges now going on. I hope your mother gets better, so sorry that messages such as these were given you. Shards of glass for tears really showed your pain and sorrow. Good post with meaning behind it, too! Smiles, Robin

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    • Hello Robin, mum’s memory unfortunately won’t improve now, she is on medication to try and stop her getting worse, but her moods can snap and on this occasion she was unaware of what she did, it’s all settled for now at least -thank you ❤

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      • I am sorry, Jen. I did not realize the subject matter of your mother’s memory and health. I have a Mom who is slowly ‘losing her marbles.’ We laugh and try to make her happy. She is not in any real pain nor does she lash out at us, it is hard to explain. We are internally sad, but I realize that this is not as bad as other’s situations. I can understand better your poem, so thank you for taking the time to explain… Hugs, Robin

      • You are welcome, sometimes when I write poetry I don’t put an explanation, which can make it difficult for my readers, so I apologise. Mum has had several small strokes in the base of the brain, which has affected her memory. No other signs were given. She is 85 now, just turned and yes some days are easy, whilst some are not. You made me smile at losing one’s marbles as it is plain to see this is what is happening with mum, though she won’t admit it! All we can do is be there, support, love and deal with, the best we can. Thoughts go out to your mum and that her road ahead is easier. xx

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