I haven’t had a chat for a while, so I thought it time, to let you what has been happening in my life, the last couple of months.
I started writing (as a post) life with a borderline or more precisely with K (my daughter) and how she has been of late, this I hold for now as it’s a very long read. Needless to say she is up and down on the Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) roller coast as am I.
Because of the circumstances we all found ourselves in, I had to put my house up for sale, which I did. Monday it sold, I’m not very happy about the price, but I was bullied by the Agent into committing to this buyer. Like most Estate Agents (Realtors) he said “I won’t get a better price” and became quite angry and irate with me, because I wanted to hold on longer. My home was only on the market for 2 weeks. Being in the emotional state I am, I said right sell it. I will, when this has settled, be reporting his behaviour.
I moved out of the penguins on Tuesday. I have been out of my home for 2 months. Now I am living with Mr. S in his rental property which is an hour away from them and my friends.
K and her b/f moved into a shared house and I’m not sure how long they will last, especially if she has a major melt down. This worries me considerably, but as I have learnt from past experience, anything could happen at any time.
I am having a few visits with a therapist, who tells me I have my own life to live, which I know is true, but it causes me anxiety, as now I can’t devote the time to mum and pop or be there for K should she urgently need me. But I have to try and step back and hope that she can manage her life, knowing I’m there in the background, even though I feel guilty.
I’m not one to spend time on myself or think of myself, although I am told this is what I must do, it’s not easy to change ones make up.
The house here is not my home, though I am with Mr. S. The home I’ve left, a place where I spent 16 years bringing up my girls. So there have been many tears shed. This is the emotional me. This weekend we go and pick up clothes etc and the following weekend we have the truck to move the furniture and try and decide where everything will go.
I would like to thank all of you for still supporting and following me, for your emails and concern. You have kept me hanging in there, when times became extremely rough.
I know my life has changed, as has K’s. Everybody’s has.
I hope I can get back to writing how I was, as soon as I can.
Thank you everyone,