Chat time if you’re bored right now

Again it has been sometime since I chatted. My poetry comes in dribs and drabs. I have so much in my mind, yet nothing, if that makes sense?

I have been at  Mr. S’s now since the 21st July of thereabouts.

Last week I conducted a Service for Australia’s High Commissioner to Mauritius , she was only 51. I had her brother in law, run out from the Cafe after the Service he had tears, he gave me a big bear hug and thanked me. It was a little awkward, as no one has shown me that amount of gratitude before, but I walked to my car with the biggest smile on my face.

Daughter K, is still living in the shared house. We have only seen each other three times, since I moved out from the penguins. My house was sold and settlement was last Friday. As I was driving home after the Service, I received a text saying it was completed. I cried, just knowing the finality of it. The 16 years of that house, my home with my girls. The relationships, the memories.

I have to say I miss K , 27 years under the same roof (apart from about 14 months)  I seem to be having shades of the empty nest syndrome again. There have been phone calls, when she has had meltdowns, there have been phone calls, where she has been rational.  This is how it will always be, until she is better.

We are attending a full day Seminar in October on Borderline Personality Disorder. There will be many specialists attending and I am happy she wants to accompany me.

Personally, I’m half happy, the bottom half I guess, as I still worry about how K is coping. I have to learn to let these feelings go and if and when the case arises, then I check my feelings and reaction, instead of inwardly anticipating, as this only causes anxiety.

I have another Service on Friday and one for next Tuesday and today I completed another 2 assessments, 4 more to go, before the Institution advises if I have passed the course, then for the Attorney Generals Department, to say yes or no, depending on how many Celebrants are around right now.

So that’s about it for this chit-chat. I hope to get my sense of humour back soon, if you read this without yawning, I thank you.


PS. I did write about the penguins, but it somehow didn’t show, so for those who have asked. Pop has cataracts and glaucoma, which has been caught early and one eye has been operated on, the other will next week. Mum is doing ok, I will be visiting them tomorrow after packing the picnic lunch to get there ~ smiles.






33 thoughts on “Chat time if you’re bored right now

  1. i see all of these as positives, jen. steps in the right direction. i hope the down times aren’t too hard on you, though i know these are. i’m happy k is taking part in sharing the learning with you, a good sign too. you were born to be a celebrant, and i’m happy you’re still working toward that, and they would be fools to ever say no. hugs )

    • There are positives happening, slowly Beth. I have to let just them in. Yes, it’s a good sign her wanting to attend and hopefully will give her encouragement to continue us with the course or studying her mindfulness. Let’s hope they don’t say no then, I wouldn’t want to disappoint the world ~ smiles thank you Beth, you are always encouraging and I appreciate you for being so. x

  2. i am glad the service went so well for you…and it had to make you feel good to get that kind of praise…

    i am glad as well that you are going to the program with your daughter…and hope that it gives you answers as well…perhaps tools to cope and manage…

    it is a grieving process in the letting go…give it time

  3. Hi there, I wasn’t bored when I read your blog and update. Sounds like you are managing well (not that it’s been easy) with all the that has been thrown at you in the past few months…I really admire your courage and robustness to continue to conduct services for people in the sadest times of their lives…it shows a good sense of resilience and compassion. I do hope your daughter finds a way to manage her problems, we all need our adult kids to be ‘okay enough’ in the world, I know that from experience also. Heather

    • Compassion I think I have, resilience, at times perhaps not as much as I’d like. Thank you HM, I hope my daughter does too, time will tell on this journey. I am glad you weren’t bored though, my writing or inspiration to write has been so spasmodic of late. Hope you and yours are okay.

  4. You are doing so well. There is so much on your plate. Take heart you are making a difference in your job and you are nearing the end of your apprenticeship ( sorry do not know the correct word for your training!) I cannot tell you what to do about your daughter no one can do that. You are doing well just try not to worry about how she is coping , you will know soon enough when she needs you. I do hope the penguins are well!! Sending you hugs!! xxxxxxx

    • Apprenticeship is a good name for it 🙂 you are right I will definitely know when I am needed, I just so wish her to gain the skills she needs to survive in the world, which will make her happy. I did write about my penguins but it dropped off, adding to the post now 🙂 hugs thank you lovely xxx

  5. Hey You thanks for your chat 😆 Excellent you are fast finding your “straps” (as the saying goes) with your services, I had no doubts as you know. Slowly slowly with K and seems like going in the right direction for you both. Need that sleep over I reckon lol xxx

  6. Jen, as a mother–a good one–you cannot stop thinking about your child or children. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Live you life. When someone (K) needs you, then think about it. Sounds like you’ve been surrounded with blossoms of good news. More power to you. 🙂

  7. Sounds like you’re keeping busy with the business and it is growing. A few doors may be closing, but a whole lot are opening too. Change is never easy and changes within parenting take the degree of difficulty to a whole other level. You have the strength and grace in you to complete this process and imagine and the poetry will once again flow .

  8. Everything you do, get through, climb over, power bust through, seems to be getting you closer to where you want and need to be. What changes Jen!

    I’m glad to hear the Penguins are doing well! ❤

  9. So glad to hear you are with your man and I want you to be happy I know it is hard to just let your daughter go to get care she so desperately needs but that is what a good Mom does HUGS

  10. I was so happy that there were a few nuggets of happiness among the overall feeling that you wished things could be better with K. and also, missing the house and family. It is overwhelming, sometimes. . . it will be again, to remember the way things had to go. The finality of it all, is not easy. I am so proud of the highest order man for running and hugging you! This is due to how well you are able to do your Services, such an outstanding gift you share and hope against hope, all will go well with your being ‘certified?’ as a Celebrant. Not sure I should say it, but hope you know what I mean. I have had glaucoma in both my eyes, the surgery is a little traumatic, but the way it works out, is good. So glad over all your parents are well, looking forward to hearing about your picnic and time together. Also, very glad you will have the whole day seminar together with your daughter and praying that all goes smoothly and she gives you a well deserved hug, Jen!

    • Hi sweet, I am qualified as a Funeral Celebrant, but I’m still studying to be a Marriage Celebrant. Glaucoma really and so young 😦 I thought it only affected the elderly. Pops eye is so blood shot, he looks devil like at the moment, he gets his other eye done next week, but he said today he is seeing much better out of it. You made me chuckle with the picnic, I guess it sounds strange, but it’s an Aussie saying if somewhere is too far away, you pack a picnic lunch, as it will take you so long to get there, but I thank you 🙂 yes I am looking forward to the Seminar, I think K and I will both gain a lot from it..I can only hope anyway. Thank you for your wonderful comment. xox

  11. I went to my hubby’s aunts funeral in Cairns a few weeks back and there was a woman celebrant who reminded me of you (in fact, she looked like you!) I wanted to hug her because she was kind and thoughtful – it makes such a difference to the family so I’m not surprised you got a big hug because of your beautiful and big heart! 😀

    Keep up the wonderful work, my friend xxxx

    • Thank you gorgeous. I wrote a long reply and my IPad is not playing nice and lost it all.
      Next time you are at a funeral and you want to hug the celebrant, can I say please do so, as it means so much. I’ve been hugged a few times. Last service the son thanked me twice and a man simply walked past and said beautiful and kept walking..I got goosebumps. You must find her picture you have me curious..a double hmmm 🙂 xxooxx

  12. Hello my darling, well you know how I feel about you and how much I believe being a celebrant is your true calling. It makes me so happy that you are busy at work.
    K will have ups and downs and you will ride some of those with her. I’m feeling so optimistic and positive for her, glad she wants to accompany you to the seminar. You will take a huge leap forward and ten steps back, some days. It is your journey together and you will always worry about her because you are her mum. Your sense of humor lurks beneath for now – it will pop out one of these days and we will share a jolly old laugh just like old times

    • Oh my darling girl, you always bring a tear with your replies. I have been busy, conducting 2 services every week for the last month, sometimes it’s a struggle to fit the study in, but I do what I can, without burning out. You are so right about the huge leaps forwards and the 10 steps backwards, this is how our lives will be for some time to come. Fortunately though, things have been steady for a week or so..I ask the universe for that to continue. My humour will once again emerge and I can’t wait to share those laughs again. Love you and thank you xxx

  13. Good to hear that work is going well and your clients are pleased with your work, but it’s not an easy job at the best of times. Good luck with those assignments and of course the attorney general will want you. Can there be too many marriage celebrants?

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