Chat time – Today’s Service

I just felt like writing about today’s Service that I conducted, so please bear with me.

The family anticipated about 120 people, there was approximately 240 people. This beautiful soul was well loved.

When we opened the doors, as the winds were cold and blowing, the family walks in first. The husband N of the deceased (his wife of 49 years P) entered first alone. A lovely gentleman in his seventies, he started crying, so I linked my arm in his and walked slowly up the aisle to his seat. He said “She’s in there” as he looked at the coffin before him on the Catafalque. I whispered, she is, she’s at peace. (She passed from battling cancer for 5 years)

The family then followed, then all of the Assembly. I read through the Service, incorporating a flower ceremony for the immediate and extended family. We watched the photographic journey to “Thank you for the Music” by Abba (as P and N loved to dance) I asked the Assembly to sing if they wished and some could be heard doing so.

I continued reading, glancing down at N and his children and grandchildren. We had the Committal to “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban. Then the completion of the Ceremony to “Time To Say Goodbye”. As this was being played, I glanced again at N who was waving with his tear soaked hanky to his beloved wife.

I think that’s when I fell apart a little.

I walked down to the family too many hugs, the daughter gripping me, saying thank you, thank you, mum would have been so proud and happy. N hugged and thanked me, as did their sons. I stood there with a tear trickling down my cheek, trying to hold it together.

Walking out slowly with the Assembly, the amount of people who looked up and thanked me or simply said beautiful, touched my heart deeply.

All I could muster was thank you so much and you are most welcome.

This is why I love doing this, not for receiving the praise, (though that is beautifully accepted) but that I am bringing them comfort with what I do and that in my book, is the best job in the world.


41 thoughts on “Chat time – Today’s Service

  1. and when you write of the services, it is glaringly clear, this is your work, what you are meant to do, all else falls away. the challenges in everyday life, as hard as they are, are left behind, and you become a comfort, a guiding light for the loved ones of those who have lost someone they care for in the deepest sense. and you are somehow made better and comforted in the process as well.

    • Your comment made me teary Beth, everything that I go through, does get put behind to do this. Today was so special and I have another on Thursday, so another busy day of writing tomorrow. I appreciate what you have written so much, thank you for being so thoughtful and kind to me. xxx

  2. This is a beautiful inditement to you. You put relatives and friends at ease at a painful point in their lives you give them the chance to grieve. This is a special gift it is not a given so it shows you have a gift. Accept their thanks and gratitude gracefully, as you already do, and use it to help you. I am not big on religion but I am Christian (I hope I am ) . I believe that God is giving you consolation and strength from the fleeting love and warmth from these grieving people. Take it and store it up with all the parts of your life that lift you. Squirrel it all away to be used when you need strength. You can add my warmth and gratitude to that as well. Keep on keeping on you are doing a great job. 🙂 xxx<3

    • I am not religious either darling, but it is an interesting concept you raised. The love from those that I help, returns to me to help Perhaps this is what is happening. I never thought I had a gift to be honest, I know I can write a Service and I have a reasonable speaking voice, I just put the two together. Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comment, also your warmth and gratitude, that is very very sweet of you. ❤ xxx

  3. To give comfort and solace at such times is a gift Jen. I can’t imagine the value of what you gave this (and all families you serve) family. I took comfort from your words and emotions.

  4. As a person who lost both of her parents at a rather young age, you are doing such an important job. The death of a loved one is something that none of us are quite sure how to navigate when we’re in the midst of dealing with it. Any help and comfort is so, so appreciated. This is very obviously a special calling for you, and the people you are helping are very blessed. 🙂

  5. Lovely woman, you are such a blessing to those who are needing your comforting words, your choices of each element in the Service you prepare. With such care placed, the family/ies will remember this ‘for always.’ Do you know how few things that people do, that make such a difference, that it means ‘for always?’ Your lasting love that you pour onto others, in your Services, are treasures, Jen! Hugs for this. You receive them because of your ability to touch the lives of the living, while the passed ones are shedding tears, up in Heaven feeling so blessed.

  6. Jen, it is so heartwarming to hear about the services you conduct and the response of your families. It sounds like you have truly found your calling. I agree with Robin. You are a blessing to those in your care. Sleep well knowing you are using your gifts. Hugs.

    • Thank you Beck ~ I am about to leave for another this afternoon, a graveside service to follow. The sun is trying to peak out for the family and I do hope it remains. Bless you sweetheart for your kindness ❤ xx

  7. Oh I knew it my lovely. I just know this is what you were meant to do. I am so glad you shared this with us. What a beautiful, beautiful service you conducted for people you don’t know, and yet know now, because of this joint space you shared for a few hours, saying good bye to a loved one.
    The songs are so lovely, chosen well to honor their love of dancing, it would be what I want too.
    Lucky family to have you!
    Love you

    • Precious words from a precious lady ~ thank you so very much. I do become involved with the family, I can’t help it, hence why I started shedding the tears at the end, which I have only done once before (trying to maintain my professional decorum) but pfft I am but human. Thank you darling ~ love you too ❤ xxx

  8. The visual of the lovely gentleman waving his tear soaked hanky just brought the tears brimming Jen. I know this is your calling and love you the more for choosing to follow your feelings. This brought vivid memories of Mum’s funeral and being very comforted you were there. Not sure if I had told you that then. Work brings me face to face with life’s inevitable end and the sad consequences but I know that the next one is worth it x

    • Thank you Angel ~ I am glad that I was there to be by your side as we farewelled mum and thank you for your words. The next one is there waiting for us, we both know that ~ smiles. Yes that what affected me in the end, it was so touching and beautiful to witness. I hope we can catch up very soon. xxx Hugs ❤

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