A very long chat time

I wrote a poem last night, the first post since coming back from our break, but in all honesty I have been so busy and tired to write much at all. So it’s update time.
I have broken it up into members so you can pick which if any you wish to be updated on.


Mumma Penguin is now in transitional care, since falling and breaking her upper arm 5 weeks ago and requires more intensive physiotherapy. She didn’t want to be in Hospital and popped on her cranky pants every morning, wearing them with pride all day. This hospital is old, but the staff are lovely. She wasn’t interested in socialising with anyone, her memory is deteriorating quite quickly. She didn’t want anyone to know her business.

Here however they have a dining room and a loungeroom with a TV. She cannot sit in her room and eat and watch her TV as in the first hospital, therefore she is forced to socialise. This has proven beneficial, as now she chats with a few of the elderly patients (mainly the men she tells me) whilst eating and watches the TV with them. Something none of us thought she would ever do. I bought her some track pants (sweat pants) and colour coordinated tops, to encourage her to get out of her nightie (as the braless look) on any 85 year old not just my mum, has little to be desired!

One of the pairs of pants were too long, so a quick repair job, cuffing and putting safety pins in, to help prevent her falling again. I spoke to her yesterday asking which pants she was wearing, the blue ones she replied. The pins not annoying you? What pins? The safety pins I put in to keep them up. Oh no, I took them out…right then.

She asks me daily have I had any services, I give the same reply. She tells me Pop doesn’t go in to see her, I tell her he has been in every day. She tells me daily that she has her arm in a sling, but she can use her left hand. I’m learning not to get as frustrated and just answering the question as if it’s a totally new one! She’s eating well, small portions but 3 times a day. She misses Pop terribly, but she has to stay at least 3 more weeks. Then she will be assessed again to see how she will cope at home.


Not much to write about Pop. His walking is very, very slow. His speech has slowed down also and he spends the majority of his day nodding on and off, apart from appointments and visiting mum. This is how he we will be and I embrace every day that I have him. He has been diagnosed with macular degeneration and needs to keep a check on it annually and take some medication. He misses Mumma Penguin, but friends have been so helpful, bringing him food, providing transport to visit her.


Still struggles. She had another major meltdown two Sunday’s ago. From the positivity of the Seminar, to have her in front of me, sobbing and saying I don’t remember being a child, or 14 or 16, where have I gone mum, tell me, where was the girl I used to be. Any parent who reads this would realise the heartbreak that I as her mother felt in these few minutes. She wanted to admit herself to hospital as she couldn’t cope with her BPD any longer. I talked to her for over an hour, in the end she has decided to try medication – Serequel. Today she got the script. I can only hope that her life becomes a little easier when she starts taking it, anything is better than how she suffers. Her sister and her have still not got together, but I live in hope.


I performed two services last week, Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday’s sadly was for a young 20 year old boy, who passed from cancer. The mum wanted it uplifting and a true celebration of his life. That it was. There were tears, there was laughter. His dog was there front row. During the Photo Reflection I asked the Assembly to sing to the song chosen, they did. I asked them to dance and or sing there way as they left the Chapel, to Justice Crews Que Sera Sera they did. I was on a high, it was wonderful. The following day, I received a text from one of the Assembly asking if I did weddings, as he thought the service was excellent and wants me to conduct his wedding next October. I told him I’m in the process of finishing my assessments and it could be some time before I hopefully pass, get registered etc. He said we can be your test crash dummies, we want you. Do you known know how that makes me feel? Bloody brilliant…that’s how.

Thank you for reading all or parts. Many things happen in my world, not forgetting painting of the all the door frames, skirting boards and windows in the house 😝

64 thoughts on “A very long chat time

  1. You ARE brilliant. You bring joy though you have joyless days. You lift up others as you feel yourself dragged down. Wonderful someone took the time to give you a lift for a change. You ARE brilliant. Show us your pearly whites. πŸ˜€

  2. I’m a new reader here, but hope to encourage you. My son has BPD and I can read much between the lines as a result. I also work often with special needs children, and though it may be little consolation have come to believe that God gives special children to extraordinary parents. I hope you have already discovered that you are stronger than you had thought. I will try to stop by and remind you every now and then πŸ™‚

    • Hello Laine, sorry for my late response, but I have been so busy. I hope that you are able to encourage me, there are so few that actually no about BPD, I feel for your son. When was he diagnosed may I ask? I hope I don’t offend you by saying I am not a religious person, so believing I am extraordinary, is difficult for me. I know this emotional roller coaster that she rides. I am beside her. The rest of the family don’t or won’t understand her illness. Thank you for stopping by and your kind comments. I hope we can chat further.

      • No offense taken – I will just have to convince you that you are extraordinary by myself :)My son was in his early 20’s, but I knew long before then. I really did learn to redefine the meaning of friends and family through all this, so I understand.

      • What you say is sad but true. I look at whom I once thought as friends, listen to them unwilling to acknowledge or support and I now turn my back on them. Even some family members. I know my parents (penguins) as I affectionately call them are elderly, so they cannot understand, nor do I expect them too, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I smiled at your comment, thank you. I must pop over and see your blog(such a terrible word). In kindness again I say thank you Laine. ❀

  3. Life is certainly determined to try you at the moment what with the beloved penguins ..one would be a a handful yet you cope with two! You have your heart wrenched out by K’s pain yet you manage to help her decided what to do. Finally you cope so well with a funeral that people are demanding you wed them!! You do all this and decorate Hun I salute you and hug you virtually across the miles!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    • Oh hun, don’t know about rock, I need to be one as the time draws near. Have to finish the course though and see if I pass etc. Having butterflies already! Hope you enjoyed your trip, looked amazing. Glad to have you back xx

  4. Its great that you are hanging in there Jenny with all that is happening in your world. The service you performed where you received such deserved accolades was the lift you needed.

  5. Being offered a wedding before you’ve even finished your course? Now that’s fantastic, Jen!!! What a star you are. Keep up the great work and I’m sending hugs to you, your daughter and your mum & dad xxxxx

  6. I can’t think of a reason why anyone wouldn’t want you for their service. Good on you, and the young man’s family, to put music, singing and dancing hand in hand with his life. Brilliant and well done for loving someone.

    I hope the Penguins get back together soon!! I know three more weeks must seem so long (because it is!).

    Good for K for trying a new med. I hope it works. I’ve heard of folks here taking that, many with success. The key is to keep taking it!

    Glad to have chatted with you Jen. πŸ™‚

    • It was an amazing day, I have to admit. Funerals need to be this way, probably not the dancing, but the joy of singing brings the Assembly together. Mumma Penguin is asking every day to go home, so 3 weeks will be a long road for her and K gets her medication tomorrow to start. Thank you I also enjoyed the chat ☺️

  7. oy, lost my comment….it has to feel good to be wanted…smiles…i know it is hard as well to have those conversations with your daughter but it is very healthy…i feel for the penguins having to be apart….hurts a bit….

    • Hello Bri, sorry for my late reply, it is a wonderful feeling to be wanted, yes the conversation at least ended with a positive and yes lastly the Penguins are hurting, I can only hope the time passes quickly for both of them..thank you

  8. Well my darling, of course people want you to to bless them and their families – I am ecstatic for you and not the teensiest bit surprised they want you regardless of whether you have completed your assessments or not. They are very, very lucky to have you. First wedding, woo hoo!!
    Poor penguins.. I feel for mum. To be away from Pop in a strange place that is not hers, not remembering. It is altogether too much. And lovely Pop, how helpless he must feel. 3 weeks is too long.
    My heart broke for you and K. To hear and see your child in this excruciating space, as a mum, it hurts me as it hurts you. How wonderful you were able to talk her into trying this medication. May it bring K to where she wants to be, may there be peace in her heart, so she can begin to live in joy again.
    Love you

    • Aww I blush, thank you darling. It’s a huge compliment and I hope I do pass and able to officiate for them. Thankfully ..they have been married both before (a couple of times) so I won’t have a bridezilla on my hands! They have been apart 5 weeks now or this is the 6th..I’m forgetting myself! Mum is wanting to go home every minute, but she can’t shower or dress herself with her arm and we are looking at having a nurse come in when she is freed. Thank you about K she picks up the medication today, it will take some time to notice any changes, but I am hopeful that it will be enough to balance out the strong emotional moods she finds herself experiencing and yes have joy in her life. Hugs to you from Oz and I hope you and your family are all well, love you too. ❀ xxxx

  9. It is good to catch up. I’ve wondered how you and yours have been. I can relate to most of what you’ve written…the family stuff, not the work stuff. I’m so glad to hear you are already getting requests for weddings…even before your coursework is complete. I hope you are well. xxx

    • Thank you my darling and so nice to see you… I was a little worried. I know you can relate and I thank you and I am well, just exhausted of late. I hope you are okay and the family and mum and dad? Hugs xx

  10. You will be awesome at a wedding too! Get busy so you can land the gig! I get a deposit to hold the date for those requesting me πŸ™‚ Sorry about the downward progression with your parents I truly know the aging process is not at all friendly 😦 My best to your daughter HUGS

  11. Wow – to have willing crash test dummies is such good news – I’ve gone all gooey at the thought that those lovely people want you. And you will be well qualified by next October! Glad to hear mumma penguin improves. What is it about women of a certain age that gets them flirting again? Sorry to hear about pop’s MD – that won’t make life any easier for him (or you). And hope the medication helps K – she really is suffering. You look after yourself – all that painting is a pain, but you are making a home to be safe and loved in.

    • I know, I feel sorry for them, being my 1st ones more than likely. I know, I just phoned her and she was giggling as apparently George who was sitting next to her kept touching her knee! No hopefully Pop’s MD is slow running. She hasn’t started yet, she is now stressing about gaining weight… I’m still painting..it’s never ending but it is looking better. Thanks hun, hugs xx

  12. I admire your Mum’s spunk, piss and vinegar, Jen! Means she is not to be worried about, she can fend for herself, take those pins out and trip around even sometimes without her bra on! Made me want to share that my Mom wrote one of the two doctors I have appts to take her the week I go to visit, (Oct. 24- Nov. 2nd), that she was NOT going to the appt. and that she sent money for the cancelling. Little does she know I will get her there…She is okay with being in charge of her dog, but is forgetful a lot, too. Sorry, I had not listened to your Dad’s story of visual troubles, that is hard on him and glad there are special friends who take him to visit Mum, despite her not remembering. I am blessed, you are too, I cannot bear the thought of my Mom dying. She lives across the street from my 2 brothers, the cost would have been double closer to me. Penguins and daughter need to be taken care of, worried about, but somehow you also need sleep so you can get your Services and chores (painting) done! I was not at alll surprised about their askign you to perform a Wedding Service, Jen! You share your gift and spread your joy so openly, everyone wishes to ‘partake’ of this! xoxo to a special Jen

    • Thanks honey. I still laughing at your first line. I visited today and one of the men was blowing her kisses across the room. She then blew them back, I said “Mum” ! She laughed saying they are harmless. She is beginning to talk more childlike though I’m noticing and that’s tough. I also visited pop, he was watching TV and seemed ok, his MD needs to be checked yearly, so I hope it progresses very slowly. I’m still painting, will be for weeks yet. Thank you for the compliment. I hope they arent sorry! ❀

      • Of course they will never be sorry, Jen! You are a blessing to all who know you, including your gift of being able to choose just the right words and music to match the services. I admire you very much and am also proud to know you!
        As far as your Mum blowing kisses, I agree, it could be viewed as a little childish, but it is also flirtatious. She must still be quite a cutie, for her to attract this kind of kisses sent across a room!
        Glad my ‘piss and vinegar’ made you laugh, Jen! Thanks for all the fun comments you have made on my posts when I was out of town, my answers and reading others was very sparse, indeed! Hugs!

      • Oh, I meant to say, I am glad you are checking in on your Pop and hope he is not too lonely. Your Mum is missed, I am sure. I hope that a miracle happens and the two penguins can be together!
        Painting is really hard on us, as we have ‘rusty joints’ and also, some muscular decline, at our age, ha ha!

  13. What an up and down life and you have everything here!
    My heart goes out to your father ~ as mine found it incredibly tough whenever Mother was in hospital or the like.
    As a mother, my heart bleed for you and your daughter. Parenting is certainly no easy thing but she is so lucky to have you.

    • I do don’t I? I wish it was a little more simpler, I really do. I am tired from dealing with things I can’t control. Yes pop is missing her greatly and she does him. She will have probably 2 more weeks, she has now been in 6, of course she doesn’t realise it’s been that long. My daughters illness tears at my heart consistently. I can only help as much as I can and unfortunately that is mainly monetary. Like most mums if I could cure her of her illness… Thank you lovely for reading. xx

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