The Bridge

Wooden_bridge_over_Soča_river

Cautiously she tread
toes splayed for balance
bare heels touching first
the wooden pales that made the bridge
it gently swayed as she held fast
steel pipes within her palms

watching the path
that lay ahead

She stops
unaware of towering trees
enconsed in forest green
blue river deep below
the sun hitting rocks
that lined it’s course

watching the path
that lay ahead

Instead she’s trapped
cornered animal in a cage
despair, anxious
disconnected, angry
emotions that come in waves
never ending one moment
every moment
one day to the next

watching the path
that lay ahead

Her heart tells her step forward
her mind tells her no
scared to try
her feet stand still in lonliness
the world in front
yet out of reach
the one behind she wants to leave

watching the path
that lays ahead

She now sways from side to side
trying to escape
the demons in her head
to walk the path beyond
let her feet step lightly
watching the path
that lays ahead

let her reach the other side
so she knows that she belongs

Copyright JMTacken 15.12.2014

Thank you everyone for your gracious comments on my last posts. I’ve been absent for a while, for reasons most of you would be aware of.

This is written for K, who had another extremely bad time the day before her 28th birthday last Saturday. She took off in her car for a few hours. I asked her late Saturday where she went.
She cried saying back to the other house, I just sat in the car as I often do, as I don’t know where I belong.

I hope to be reading and commenting on your posts again, thank you.
x

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36 thoughts on “The Bridge

  1. thinking of both of you, and knowing you are each searching for a steady calm within. this is lovely, and sad and your words are so powerful. i’m glad that you can express all of these heavy emotions in words, it helps to say them, even though there is not yet an equilibrium. it helps to right the ship again when it is tossing in the sea. hugs ) beth

  2. A haunting loneliness is evident in your poem. Can I stay or should I go. Fear takes hold either way, a powerful emotion. .
    Sorry K continues to try to find her way. Take care, both of you. ❤ ❤ ❤

  3. There are never any easy answers in something like this. I have an incredible urge to hug you and to give you an extra hug for K. ❤

  4. She would cross the bridge… she can.
    The emotions that run astray are the instigators of despair. I remember a friend suggesting me to take a day at a time.
    Raw, emotive and powerful verse.
    Take care.

  5. A long and winding path with topsy turvy curves. It is a path of endurance for you both my darling. You will get there, of course. That I’m sure of. Battling the mind is difficult – you will hold her no matter where her space takes her, you will weep and you will smile. Your words are graceful and powerful my lovely.. May K find strength in them.
    love you
    xxx

    • I wish the bridge she walks was straight and simple, without the swaying of doubts that she will ever be without this. I will hold her, with every breath, but it’s hard, so hard. Thank you my darling 💙💙 xx

  6. Jen, my hand actually flew over my mouth as I read this. I know it was written for K but it connected to feelings of uncertainty and fear and inability to move. I haven’t suffered as K has. But those moments, even in smaller doses, hit many of us. And you captured it.

    • If you have felt this, if only in a small way, this is what K deals with every moment, every day, along with everything else and more in the third verse. Thank you Coll, for feeling and knowing the words that I have written 💙

  7. Jen, this was such a brilliant way of expressing the phantoms that live in some people’s minds. I feel so much for K. I hold you both in my mind, heart and prayers more often than you would imagine. It is like a thought passing through my mind will remind me to say another word of hope sent into the heavens. Hugs for this turmoil and shaky bridge that K. must walk, balancing ever so carefully… hugs for you, her mother, who probably multiple times daily walk this with her, in your mind, when you are apart, too.

    Have the girls had their movie night yet? I hope there is some kind of change made in their relationship. It would help to share this with both of them, together be a ‘force to reckon with,’ Jen!

    This had been expressed at times, by my only son, my brother and a long-term girlfriend, who through the years has heard voices, has been afraid, has felt tortured by the television and other media reading her thoughts. I feel bad, she is such a very sweet and special librarian, has her Master’s Degree, but lives on disability, cannot even sort books at her church before she has different attacks on her thoughts. My son and brother deal with their emotions, being manic depressive but live day to day, mainly forging ahead, taking baby steps… xoxo

  8. Thank you lovely. I do walk this daily in my mind hun, if not by the minute. The terrible financial situation she is in as well as being able to cope with her BPD, which doesn’t like stress. They haven’t done the movie night, K didn’t seem that keen. They did however last Sunday go for dinner with there dad, so the lines of communication are slowly opening. I feel for you too and your family members and friends, so many that suffer, depression, anxiety, BPD, the list is endless. The quiet illness that destroys. So many mental illnesses that require so much more investigating and assistance, I hope in my life time I see K better, as I can’t bare the thought of not being around to help her. Hugs to,you darling and to those special people in your life . 💙💙 xx

  9. An intensely powerful imagery, beautifully flowed, the struggles you both endure with love and grace show through in the way you take on the bridge together. Very moving Jen, peace and hugs to your family💪🙏

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