Chat up date – It is what it is


could we be
the silhouette
we stand behind
to help them
if they falter

They can lose their way
the maze of life
it’s twists and turns
their minds
tired of coping
unable to
knees bent in weariness
but a shadow has no strength

copyright 19.2.2015

Poppa Penguin is home from Hospital, the doctors gave the okay, his physiotherapists didn’t. They advised us, that if he goes home and falls again, he will be placed into Aged Care. He is still a high falls risk, in fact being in Rehab for so long he has now become weaker.
There are now more issues, mumma Penguin, needs her walker to walk in the home. Pop has his, but also is not allowed to walk unsupervised. Which means any small steps he needs to do, mum has to accompany him. This could be alright for a younger person who has all their facilities, but for mum, sadly not.
I visited today after a Service, later in the afternoon my brother found her tablets hidden again. Her mood was verocious. I feel guilty, but I butt heads with her and we did some major butting this afternoon. Pop shakes so much he struggles to get a spoon of food into his mouth.

When my brother arrived before I, dad was stuck in the doorway, as he needs someone to remind him to take big steps, because of his Parkinson’s, he forgets.
There were raised voices today, it was terrible, Pop sat quietly, mum saying she’s not budging from the house and pop won’t be going anywhere. Because I helped feed pop, mum said ‘Daddy daddy daddy’ well I like P (my brother over you), then added no Paul was my favourite, (he passed over 10 years ago)

In the next few days my brother and I are making the toughest call, to try and put them into an aged care facility, as this will only get worse. It is what it is.

I’m just doing my normal vent here, everyone faces or will face this situation in their lives, if you aren’t already.

It sucks, it’s the only way to describe it, watching the two people who are the world to you, be in this position. Pop sitting most of the day as mum forgets to help him.

K is taking her epilepsy medication, no seizures since last week. A blessing. I have contacted a Psychoanalyst who will be speaking to her and see if she can have ongoing therapy still.

As for me? Three Services in a row this week, very tiring and I’m now a Marriage Celebrant, passing the course and being registered as of today.

I wish I could jump cartwheels, but my head is spinning and I’m too exhausted to try!

Once again thank you for reading if you lasted the length and apologies for not keeping up with your posts as much as I normally do.


45 thoughts on “Chat up date – It is what it is

  1. it is what it is…i feel for you….we tried the last several years to get my grandmother in one…she kept falling each year….finally her heart attack this year changed her…broke her a bit into realizing she can not do it on her own…if you do, i hope they make friends so that the transition is easier…..

    • Thank you Bri, it’s so hard to take what they know and their independence away. I’m sorry that you are going through the same with you Nan. I’m not sure what the reaction will be with Mum, popes ok with it. She will go kicking and screaming. I wish you and your family well too. Hugs.

  2. They need to be in a care facility now Mumsy, their quality of life will improve with some help, they may fight it, but it is true. I know it is a tough call, but not really when you think about Dad sitting there unattended, or if one falls, lying there the same. They may meet some nice people that they can chat up all day too. Take a deep breath please.

    • Breath taken, another small discussion was had today, with mum going to have a chat to pop about it. Pop won’t rock the boat, a lot to do in the next few weeks. I wish this process was going to be easy, but I fear not. * hugsss*

  3. Jen my friend you are having a time of it. You already have the realisation re your Penguins, now is the time to carry out the inevitable before they get into more serious strife. They will be placed together I would hope and you, your family, all will be relieved by the 24/7 care needed and received at the right establishment. Thinking of them and you with extra special wishes. X

  4. Hey sweetie – first of all, congratulations on becoming a marriage celebrant! You have to remember to enjoy the good stuff – don’t forget that. 🙂

    Secondly, hang in there with your parents and K. Yes, you are reaching that stage with your parents and it is a fact of life that all of us will experience if we live long enough. Good to hear that K’s seizures have stopped. Take care, darling. 💜

  5. Well done my lovely. I’m so happy for you. It is exhausting but now so many are going to celebrate a marriage blessed by you – how marvelous is that.
    It is such a difficult decision to make that call about the two people you love the most, and you are doing what you have to. I do hope being together will bring them some peace and when they have that care, it will make them happier in some way too. I know leaving their home will be the hardest thing for them.
    Happy K is doing well. Love you

    • Thank you sweet…perhaps I’ll be more excited when I finally realise what I have to do, I’ve forgotten everything I studied already! Yes they have to move, their house to big, as they don’t use half of it. It’s trying to get it all organised, finding a place for both of them, within the costs they can afford. Then the battle of getting mum in there. K is now on her 800mg per day medication, she had a melt this morning, but was alright within an hour. Can you just stop the world for a few seconds..minutes..hours for me? Sent you an email.. Love you too xxx

      • Oh my lovely, there is just too much for you to do. Okay, I’m going to stop the Earth from spinning for 5 mins. Can you feel it? just for you. I’m also sending you a hug as i stop, so you can stop anjd breathe.
        I didn’t get your email darling, I searched, but nothing from you. Try sending again.
        love youxxx

  6. with regard to the penguins, it is imperative, at this point, that they have a place where someone can assist and watch them for 24 hours. it’s a hard route to go at first but it will be a relief to know they are being looked after when you’re not there and will be getting the care they so clearly are needing. as for k, i’m glad for this small line of time with no disruption, every day counts and as for you, i’m so proud of you in your new profession, and know this is what you’re meant to do, along with helping others where you can, most importantly, not forgetting to look after yourself. hugs ) beth

    • Yes hun, my foremost thought, is I can come home at night knowing they are being taken care off. It’s stress I don’t need, or any of the family. All was well till a melt this morning, but she recovered reasonably quickly. Thankfully no seizures. Aww thank you darling, as I’ve said you have been supportive of me always and I thank you. Hugs back Beth xx

  7. Tough times for you and the family. I remember when my own Mum went into care, it actually worked out well but it wasn’t an easy decision. So pleased that you have gained your accreditation Jenny, well done. Hope you can take care of yourself, just a little bit at least…Heather

  8. Jen, my husband’s family is facing a similar dilemma and has decided to keep my mother-in-law at her home with a day caregiver. She does spend the evening and nights alone and that is concerning but she refuses to go anywhere. She is in the early stage of dementia. We all face this decision at one time or another. Let me send you positive encouragement. ❤

  9. So glad I was able to find all my blogs I follow and get your updates. Sorry about your folks my Mom is still in rehab and I know it is hard so very hard. Praying for you all to find strength. Congrats to you as well!!!!

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