Havin a chat – Legs – Chapter 2

So here I am again. I do hope for the whole 11 readers of Chapter 1 that I didn’t shock you too much.

Today students we move on from feet to legs. Let me show you an example (as I did with the feet in chapter 1). The below BELIEVE IT NOT we’re how my legs looked.

Now at the age of 60 ..not so much.

Naturally skin has thinned, think about tissue paper and you’ll get the idea. One slight knock, no matter how small or light will more than likely cause a bruise. I think of pops hands and how bruised they are… That can be my legs. Sooooo I am very careful walking around furniture, stepping out of the shower, or doing anything where I may knock myself.

Then of course we have the gravity issue, what normally was up sadly must go down. When I taught aerobics many moons ago, my thighs actually didn’t meet…you know where. I thought I was the ants pants, as that was THE look. Now after hibernating for winter, comfort eating, this little wombats thighs have reintroduced themselves. To be honest though they have been that way for a while now and they have decided to take the plunge southward.

Again I SIGH.

Next are the knee caps, same deal, skin that once was taut, now folds over, similar to my bottom lip when I look at them.

The final part of this ever enthralling chapter is hair. Oh yes the bane of all women. When I was younger out came the soap ( yes soap because back then I believed shaving cream was just for men) even though I was shaving…derr. Gradually I learnt women can also use shaving cream or gel and I was quietly thrilled.

After many years of shaving, I decided to try waxing. Buying wax strips, or pots of wax that was microwave heated, the pain and mess would begin. Wipe on..wipe off. Too complicated, too fiddly…NEXT?!

Out came the Eepilady. A small little electrical unit, that has quite a few inbuilt tweezers. Now at first go, it feels as it sounds, lots of little tweezers pulling out the hair by the roots. After the initial swearing it isn’t that bad. From bikini line (there’s LOTS of swearing and face pulling there) to the ankles, I zip away. The good thing about this form of hair removal is that the hair grows sparser and comes through finer, so after years of  subjecting myself to the agony, I don’t wear the mohair stockings, nor do I have to contemplate the lawnmower.

Speaking of stockings, if only I could wear them every day, as they work wonders keeping all the wobbly bits in place. Thankfully, I only have a few small veins, but nothing too worrying, something has to go right…right?

Now I’m not quite sure if the bum should be in this chapter, or the next, I don’t have a lot to tell about my derriere. It’s probably the same as most, though many years back when I was painting our kitchen ceiling and standing on a stool, I missed my footing to get to the bench and fell fair square on my right cheek (bottom that is) . This resulted in a huge bruise and weirdly enough after time a dint, think moon crater.

Thankfully I was able to get this fixed down the track. That will be in my next chapter,  I have to keep you in suspense and wanting more….somehow.

Keep on loofering ladies !