love and Alzheimer’s

A shell now embodies who she was
The oyster barren
Where once there held a pearl
Harvested too soon
The game of hide and seek
I search for someone
Who doesn’t know she’s lost
I am a bystander who
Holds the moments of clarity
The laughter, conversation
Witnessing the changes as the minutes tick by

Those of us called the care warriors
Have a larger role than most
Not just tending to the physical
But the mental side as well
We hold what is said inside
Words that can splinter our souls
Blazoned in our memories
They mix with words of love
That we once heard
Before the journey began

So many difficult moments
Our hearts stretched in every way
Dealing with accusations or insults
Telling ourselves this is not them
The disease thats taken them from us
The disease that sees them change
But blood is thicker than water
And love is thicker than blood
So we’ll walk the journey with them
From beginning to the end






47 thoughts on “love and Alzheimer’s

  1. it’s so very, very hard. you’re right when you say, it’s the disease, and not your loved one that you hear and see. when you know and love someone so well, that is why it is so very hard to be there during this transition. hugs and more hugs, b

  2. Jen, I don’t know what words to use to comfort you about this. I just recently watched the movie, “Away from Her” and finally got a sense of how devastating the loss of memory and personality is to those around the person who suffers from them. Your mum loved you and you just need to remember that, is all I can think of to say. As Beth said, hugs, hugs, hugs.

  3. Ah. Dear friend, I wish you all the strength that you need.
    It’s a beautiful poem cherishing a person and more than that, a relation… and as you say, “we’ll walk the journey with them/From beginning to the end”.

  4. My darling, sending you love and strength. You are holding a lot, and that space is sometimes the hardest place to be because you carry what was and what now is, holding them side by side seeing all of those changes. She loves you, amidst her battle, she knows you are there, so is she. I walk with you all the way

  5. Your inner strength and love will keep things together. Pulling from all the love you received, you will make all feel better. Your memories are so wonderful, enough to help your daughters to support their loving visits, too. Music and pictures help my Mom, too. ♡♡♡♡ your training is being put to use! 🙂

      • Hugs and kisses. Mwah!
        My Mom has dementia where she has angry fits and embarrasses me in front of medical personnel and her acquaintances where she lives but the difference is, of course, she shows remorse later. Much clearer in am and worse as the day goes by. . . When I took it personally, I would cry or a few times say, “You are being mean to your only daughter.” Now, I just get silent or hold her hand or hug her. xoxo I feel your pain, Jen, even though different pains. ♡

      • Jen ♡ Thinking about you on a sunny warm day, grandson leaning on me watching Sunday cartoons. Catching up with blogs but always afraid I will miss a new post. Love you, you funny, serious special writer of reality and fantasy. Thanks for being “You!”

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