And so….

It is with my heart broken, my soul numb, that I let all of those who have been my friends on WP to say these words…

My darling Pop (my penguin) left our earthly coil on the 19th of April, 2017 at 12:25pm, after a 15 hour fight to remain.

I stayed with him by his side, in his hospital room, for 6 days. Time to be, time to share.

His transition started 10pm on the 18th, his life ending after my brother, I and mum were in the room and my brother and I stood her up to give him a hug. The moment she put her head on his chest, he slightly opened his eyes, closed his mouth from the shallow breathing and relaxed. A few minutes later he joined the Angels and his youngest son.

No words describe the pain
For he was my rock
A connection without words
RIP you beautiful and much loved man
Until our paths cross once again

😪💔😪

The Circle Of Life

Has a sword placed
Without strains of Hakuna Matata
Yet
He is a lion for his strength
His courage
Step slowly around the circle
Time passes too quickly

I remember him
Holding my tiny hand
To cross the busy street
Holding that hand
Through good and bad
Through tears of sadness
Tears of joy

Approaching the sword
My life insignificant
Trying to hold his life
Within my hand now grown
Knowing
There is nothing I can do
Knowing

Yet
The words of the song are
Distant
Haunting
Between the struggle for air and
The tears that slice against my throat

He is my King
Then
Now
Always

Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba
No
My father
YOU are the lion

 

It happens

Arm around waist
Awkward steps but
How we laughed
As I hung onto your blue eyes
Taken for granted
If I could dance with my father once more
The song echoes in my head
I remember like a past life

Outside I suck in the chill of air
That bites my tongue
The ticking of the traffic lights beat slow
Until it’s time to cross

A teenager, young woman yet to leave the nest
Helping clean the aftermath of your famous
Dinner parties
Cooking for thirty
You didn’t blink an eye
Your love of food and entertaining
Knew no bounds
Remembering the most complicated dishes – cakes
Without the need to follow words

Grasp the days, no matter how tough they seem
How busy your own lives become
For we don’t know
When the words of a song suddenly are real
Or the ticking at the lights
Race too quickly for our ears

Sitting at the Hospital.
Pop hopefully returns to Aged Care tomorrow after being in hospital for 2 weeks. Draining 2655mls from his right lung. I have spent every day for 11 hours with him, helping the nursing staff attend to his needs. Doing very personal tasks for him, out of pure love.
Mum’s operation went well, though after an anti clotting injection performed daily to prevent blood cots, saw her return to hospital yesterday, as bleeding started, by hitting a blood vessel. She was returned again last night.
She is more withdrawn and memory declined further after having the general anaesthetic. We don’t know if this is a permanent state now.

Rubber Band

Stretched
Each arm different directions
Each leg the splits
Wonder when I’ll just go ‘boing’?

Update – possibly explaining my absence.

Took Pop to a respiratory specialist as his breathing was laboured and some wheezing, didn’t know if related to his MSA. Also to check his swallowing, as
the facility had put him on semi thickened liquids, with information given by their speech therapist. Pop hated this.

Into Hospital Monday, swallow test with XRay, no he doesn’t have to be on thickened liquids. Pop now happier.

Tuesday morning, phone call. Mum was found on the floor in their room.
Broken left hip and some fractured ribs. Seriously?!

Tuesday afternoon, Pop had CT to diagnose breathing issues’ fluid on his right lung. Later that afternoon a pleural tap to drain liquid. As he cant sit, they had to perform it lying down on his side (not ideal).
They drained 700ml of liquid, with some residue left, this was the major pocket filled, has a few others, but not as great. Awaiting results.
BUT to add to it all, from doing the tap, he now has a pneumothorax (air pocket) in his lung, which can happen…and did. Today is Thursday, not looking at being able to leave till at least the weekend. X-rays daily to check lung now deflating and on oxygen.

Mum is in another Hospital and was operated on last night, visiting this morning, in good spirits, but ribs hurting her immensely. She will then have to have to go to Rehab for a few weeks, where I don’t know as yet.

Daughter B doing really well with baby Lewis ( who is absolutely gorgeous ) yes I’m a proud and doting Nana, I’m staying with them, whilst I visit Pop each day 9-8, then go and see mum, then B and Lewis and sometimes Mr. S and daughter K get a look in.

It’s been a long week, I’m about to go ‘boing’.

Love to you all, who are still following!

Little one

Strong the link
A cord doesn’t bind
Drawing me forwards
To this little child
Who knows not of hate
Or what’s in this world
Understands only
The love that is poured
That surrounds him
Fulfils him and helps
With his needs

Has warmth and milk
Held tight in arms
Soothed with voices he recognises
Watched on adoringly
The expressions he gives
Whilst lying contentedly in his crib

He is safe in his home
As he was in the womb
Swaddled, protected
His surrounds are as small
As his fingers and toes
With the smell of a newborn
The best scent in the world

A love, nay an ache
To be by his side
To watch him
To hold him
This grandson of mine

Welcome to the World

 

With much love and happiness may I present my first grandchild ~ Lewis

Born yesterday 9/01/2017 at 5:30pm (after a 30 hour labour) three days early.

Daughter B, had a bit of a hard time, but Lewis and mum healthy and doing well.

6lb  12 1/2oz.

GORGEOUS, ADORABLE, I’M IN LOVE ALREADY!!

from Nana Jen xx

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

image

Wishing you all, your families and your loved ones a bright, happy and most of all a healthy 2017.

I’m saying goodbye to 2016 – you weren’t the best of years for so many.

Don’t know what’s in store for this year, but I will cross the bridges when I get to them.

THANK YOU all for your love, support, following and friendships, they mean the world to me.

xxx

❤️💜💙💖❤️💜💛💚💖❤️💜💙💖❤️💜💛💚❤️💜💙💖❤️💙💛💚💖❤️💜💙💖❤️💜💛💚❤️💙