Rubber Band

Each arm different directions
Each leg the splits
Wonder when I’ll just go ‘boing’?

Update – possibly explaining my absence.

Took Pop to a respiratory specialist as his breathing was laboured and some wheezing, didn’t know if related to his MSA. Also to check his swallowing, as
the facility had put him on semi thickened liquids, with information given by their speech therapist. Pop hated this.

Into Hospital Monday, swallow test with XRay, no he doesn’t have to be on thickened liquids. Pop now happier.

Tuesday morning, phone call. Mum was found on the floor in their room.
Broken left hip and some fractured ribs. Seriously?!

Tuesday afternoon, Pop had CT to diagnose breathing issues’ fluid on his right lung. Later that afternoon a pleural tap to drain liquid. As he cant sit, they had to perform it lying down on his side (not ideal).
They drained 700ml of liquid, with some residue left, this was the major pocket filled, has a few others, but not as great. Awaiting results.
BUT to add to it all, from doing the tap, he now has a pneumothorax (air pocket) in his lung, which can happen…and did. Today is Thursday, not looking at being able to leave till at least the weekend. X-rays daily to check lung now deflating and on oxygen.

Mum is in another Hospital and was operated on last night, visiting this morning, in good spirits, but ribs hurting her immensely. She will then have to have to go to Rehab for a few weeks, where I don’t know as yet.

Daughter B doing really well with baby Lewis ( who is absolutely gorgeous ) yes I’m a proud and doting Nana, I’m staying with them, whilst I visit Pop each day 9-8, then go and see mum, then B and Lewis and sometimes Mr. S and daughter K get a look in.

It’s been a long week, I’m about to go ‘boing’.

Love to you all, who are still following!

Little one

Strong the link
A cord doesn’t bind
Drawing me forwards
To this little child
Who knows not of hate
Or what’s in this world
Understands only
The love that is poured
That surrounds him
Fulfils him and helps
With his needs

Has warmth and milk
Held tight in arms
Soothed with voices he recognises
Watched on adoringly
The expressions he gives
Whilst lying contentedly in his crib

He is safe in his home
As he was in the womb
Swaddled, protected
His surrounds are as small
As his fingers and toes
With the smell of a newborn
The best scent in the world

A love, nay an ache
To be by his side
To watch him
To hold him
This grandson of mine

Welcome to the World


With much love and happiness may I present my first grandchild ~ Lewis

Born yesterday 9/01/2017 at 5:30pm (after a 30 hour labour) three days early.

Daughter B, had a bit of a hard time, but Lewis and mum healthy and doing well.

6lb  12 1/2oz.


from Nana Jen xx



It’s easy to fall through the cracks
Unwanted unloved
Holding on
When others disown
The twists and turns
Within their heads
Feeling their pain
Their wish to leave
This earthly coil
Not from age or illness
Sight unseen
It’s in the box
The one that no one
Dares to open the lid
For lack of understanding
It’s opened only by the brave
Who have the strength to ground them
Steer them on the path
To feeling whole again

How simple for some to walk away
Be a parent
Your resolve is firm
For they are your blood
You hear them silently scream
Even while they sleep

String lines

I am held together with
Strings of empathy
For those that hold my heart
Held to parents
Bound to children
One apron, one not
To those I say goodbye to
My work strings entwined with family
Just the thickness varies
That is all
For animals
It remains the same

When I can I give of me
I release them to the length I want
Depending on the moment
Yet there are days of knots
When I cannot give
I cannot try
I cannot unwind nor stretch further
For I am human
and humans have limitations


lose patience even though
know she cannot change
watch with heavy heart the father whose life will never be the same
give thanks that another years been reached amd blow the candles softly out

amongst the everyday
the ups
the downs
and in betweens
a year has gone and
ask where
live more lives than the one

think for many not just myself
and through it all
the year that’s been
behind the clouds that loom so dark
a silver lining appears
for though
I may lose one that
so love
before some months have passed
will hold a new life lovingly
and preciously in my arms


She rubs her eyes
Yawns the last nights sleep away
Bare foot across the boards
Using toes to balance
She pulls old tissues from her pocket
Of her mauve worn dressing gown
She wipes the tear that’s fallen
Her finger flicks the power
Waits and listens to the kettle
And just for a split second
Ponders coffee, chocolate, tea
Staring out the window to the sound of
Boiling water in the background
She grabs the cup and spoon
All her actions in slow motion
And wonders why life has challenged her
Is there a reason for the path she walks
She does not go to church or has
Belief in a higher being
Only perhaps the universe
And she wishes upon the nightly stars
Some have hurdles greater than she
Perhaps hers not that large
In the scheme of things
Everyone has ups and downs
As the warm tea touches her lips
There are others far worse off than she
That’s how she gains perspective
This thought keeps her taking steps each day
To not give up, or wallow into dark despair
The simplicity of ‘It is what it is’
Embedded and trying to be accepted
Almost a mantra spoken now
For new events that challenge her
Sitting she holds the cup with two hands
The warmth soothes her cold palms
Let it slide, she tells herself
She can’t be everything to everyone
She can’t solve, cure, remedy, please
Though inbuilt in her nature
There are days her strength forgoes her
Allowing herself to back away
If only for some minutes
But she is resilient and knows when she is
Called upon, she will be there
As to ‘there’ that is her home
Where she’s needed, where she belongs

Mother’s Day

From a child, to the adult that I am
You cared & guided me
Along life’s path
Selfless in your love
Today I want to thank you
For making me the person I’ve become

I didn’t think when I was younger
Of the struggles we’d face now
Once upon a time you held my hand
To cross the busy road
Now it is I who hold yours
Our ups & downs & in-between’s

Our tears of joy & sorrow
Our laughter through the years
Not knowing how life would change
But no matter where this journey takes us
Our bond & love forever will remain

“Happy Mothers Day”

To all the mums around the world

To all the children who no longer have their mums by their side

To all who have struggles and all who don’t

Remember them today & always



We were weightless butterflies
Held in our mothers arms
We then shed tears at cut knees
And as we grew
With what we felt
Not from scratch or bruises
But from our heart

As the years followed
We,  born of wings
Feel the weight of weariness
Knowing how much we’ve changed
Relying on those who love us
To carry the burden of ourselves

If we could end our own suffering
Without guilt or laws set concrete
Not to cast eyes upon those who

Give us life itself 

Could we

Would we

love and Alzheimer’s

A shell now embodies who she was
The oyster barren
Where once there held a pearl
Harvested too soon
The game of hide and seek
I search for someone
Who doesn’t know she’s lost
I am a bystander who
Holds the moments of clarity
The laughter, conversation
Witnessing the changes as the minutes tick by

Those of us called the care warriors
Have a larger role than most
Not just tending to the physical
But the mental side as well
We hold what is said inside
Words that can splinter our souls
Blazoned in our memories
They mix with words of love
That we once heard
Before the journey began

So many difficult moments
Our hearts stretched in every way
Dealing with accusations or insults
Telling ourselves this is not them
The disease thats taken them from us
The disease that sees them change
But blood is thicker than water
And love is thicker than blood
So we’ll walk the journey with them
From beginning to the end