For the record. This post is purely my thoughts and opinion, I am not dictating what you as a parent should or shouldn’t do.
Great minds seem to think alike – mine being one 🙂 the other Mer over at Knocked Over by a feather.
See her link here on the subject I write about. I had this in my draft folder last week and didn’t post, then I read the below, which reminded me to finish it and finally post.
Back in my school days (yes many moons ago) I, along with many of my stirring little brat class mates, were now and then introduced to this delightful fellow
“JENNIFER………..” would be sternly roared across the room (and you knew you were in trouble when they used your full name). I would then rise from chair and rather sheepishly walk to the front of the class red face from pure embarrassment (or sometimes giggling trying to hide my fear) to hold out my slightly shaking hand out for my impending punishment.
How many smacks I would receive would depend on the severity of the ‘crime’ that I had committed. Talking was usually the one that did the trick, ok not just a word or two, but a full on conversation, where I didn’t pay attention to anything that was being said. I knew I was in the wrong, so I took it like a man…I mean girl. I think the most every received was 6 in one ‘lesson’. If my crime was more severe I would be dragged to the Principal’s office for his/her lecture (and a phone call to mum and dad) this occurred more when I was a young rebellious know it all (hard to believe I know) but I had my rat-bag moments whilst at school.
In my family life, my two brothers and I would on the odd occasion get the ‘strap’ from dad. One of my brothers (RIP), was subjected to more of these punishments than my elder brother and I. Sometimes…well I managed to convince dad that I was his little girl and battered my eye-lids which led to a reprieve, but not always.
People now label this as ‘child abuse’. In fact there is pretty much a LABEL for everything these days. Teachers are actually teaching the children this, to the point where even mine in their later years at school would say “You can’t touch me, or I can report you to the Police”. Those who do not follow the ‘smack rule’ look upon you as the devil incarnate if you dare ‘smack’ your child on the bum when they are screaming the supermarket down for the lolly (sweet) that you have told them for the hundredth time they cannot have. I have witnessed as I am sure most have, of the frantic, frustrated mother, standing there watching her child throw a tantrum on the floor of a supermarket, not knowing what to do or to handle the situation. There are parents who honestly do not know what to do. “Shall I smack – what if I am caught”? “Shall I walk off , pretend I’m not being effected and let everyone else deal with the screaming?”
I KNOW there is a HUGE difference between giving your child a ‘smack’ on the bum or hand to full scale intent to do continual physical (and therefore possible mental damage). However parents are afraid to ‘smack’ over here. Parents are made to feel like monsters or criminals for disciplining their child how they see fit and as mentioned they can be reported if they are seen doing so, now sorry, but what a load of cods!
Do we not have rights as parents to administer discipline to our own children anymore? Have the ‘do-gooders’ (for want of better description) of the world completely taken over? Why do we have the problem with youth of today?
Two different opinions are mainly given.
- They were ‘abused’ as a child (this excuse is forever given in our judical system) and now they are so mentally scarred that they have to release their anger onto the world in the way of grafitti, theft, fighting or yes even murder.
- They weren’t disciplined enough when they were little and now feel because they were able to get away with everything in their younger years, they have the ‘right’ to get away with what they want to now, in whatever form they choose.
I understand there are parents that actually feel physically sick if they smack their child
“Why did I do it, only to make myself feel better?”
“They didn’t mean it, they are only young, they didn’t know any better”.
“They are going to hate me now”.
“What does smacking prove?”
What does it do? What may it do? It may very well be the message that your child needs to hear (or feel) from time to time, for an action that they have done for which you don’t agree with. Those and there are sadly numerous who smack for the hell of it, are out of control and I do not advocate that this is correct, in any form or fashion. However a tap on the bum or back of the legs or a smack on the hand – surely us as a society can see that this is not going to damage our child and furthermore whose child is it?
Perhaps being dealt with in this manner could in fact stop the youth of today ‘doing as they please’ for they know that punishment will ensue. Too many of our younger generation believe they have a right to commit a crime, or hurt others and why, because they weren’t given any form of discipline when they were growing up. I didn’t get punished for being bad then – I won’t now. Some may use the excuse that they were born that way or that they grew up in an abusive relationship – there is a BIG difference between ABUSE and a smack on the bum people! It has just been given the same LABEL.
The naughty corner could be used, silence as your child stands staring into a corner for every 1 minute of their age, if this works for you I am pleased.
However I have seen little ones put through this (Mr. S’s grandchildren) they come out and apologise and within 5 minutes they are back acting out in the same way.
So wouldn’t a smack on the bum, that causes an ‘ouch’ remain with them longer (and by that I do not mean mentally scarred for life, but purely the ouch factor)? Showing them that for every wrong action there is a consequence and that consequence is not pleasant? Or is it better to let them ‘perform’ because they are only ‘little’ and as they grow they will learn right from wrong? So when does that happen, at what age?
Perhaps I am ‘old school’ with all the literature written and new age ideas that have come to the fore since I raised my girls the way of handling situations has seemingly changed, because hell knows, no children were born or raised prior to these new findings!!
I for one, gave both my girls a smack when required, I certainly experinced them. Have I turned out any worse for it? NO I don’t think I have. I do not have nightmares, or suffer any mental illness for being reprimanded for playing up. I certainly did not look to a life of crime because I thought I wouldn’t be punished and therefore could do as I pleased. Seriously folks, let us not get so tied up with others preaching/dictating how we should raise our children!
I learnt lessons as I was growing up and too often in our society this does not happen.
I haven’t done a ‘Rambly’ for some time, it was overdue. Any comments or thoughts – fire away!