Tweety not so Sweety

2013-03-26 14.02.06

This is what happened on Thursday…or was it Wednesday? Being at home now, one day just rolls into another.

I am sounding like my elderly parents bless em so I shall move on.

What you see here my dear readers is a bird perched up on a window on our kitchen cathedral ceiling. I don’t know why they are called cathedral ceilings perhaps because it’s the height of a cathedral or near enough…this window to give you an idea is about 17 feet up the wall.

The other day I left the house for a short while, as I was minding two dogs (both bird lovers by the way) I left the door open to the decking, so they could come and go as they pleased. Yes I’m considerate when it comes to dogs.

When I returned there was said Mr/Mrs Fluffy wings perched up high with several trails of droppings cascading down the wall (look closely at the pic).

The kitchen table sits underneath (of course it does, it’s not hanging off the fall ffs).  I grabbed a chair and stood that on top of the table and then stood on the chair…I was trying to get high (not that sort of high folks settle) trusty broom in hand (no I wasn’t going to hurt Tweety-Pie). I started hoopin and a hollerin and waving the broom around like a woman possessed.

Tweety fluttered from one window pane to the next…pooping as he/she went. Nothing worked, no amount of screaming and yes I even started crying I was so mad. I got down and grabbed an almost finished plastic bag of bread and tied a knot in it and started throwing it at Tweety (please don’t call the RSPCA) I wasn’t trying to knock it off it’s perch (no I was) but without harming it. I am an animal lover, but the poop was getting to me.,

Finally after much screaming and tears and waving of arms she/he flew to the ground and sat like a stunned mullet (yes I know that is a fish).
Then ‘it’ flew onto a clothes horse (full of clean towels). I was shoo -shoo shoo-ing it with all my might, before it calmly hopped behind the TV cabinet. Grrrrrr.
Then ‘it’ flew gently into the window, then on the floor, then back onto another window, before me wielding broom screaming “SHOO you bloody bird”, it flew out the door and settled under the outdoor table.

‘It’ (as I’m not into sexing birds)  sat for over an hour (in shock I am gathering) or perhaps thinking  “This woman is a bloody lunatic, last time I hop in her place for a drink from the dog bowl”!  Where were the dogs you ask? Playing merrily in the background not giving a toss about my predicament.

The moral of this story? Yes folks there is one. Tweety must have gone through an ordeal, shocked at what was happening, why she couldn’t stay in her comfy place on the window ledge.

Wings flapping and not knowing where to go she fluttered from one spot to the next , even hitting herself in the process.

Only to find her way and rest for a while before she used her wings and found her freedom once again.

I will let you the reader figure that one out.

Letter to my new Employer (warning does contain explicit language) a little…

Dear Prospective Employer who ever you may be,

I would like to submit this letter to give you a little insight into what I seek for my next position of employment. Having been given the arse the sack…been (in my eyes) wrongfully dismissed from my previous employ, I hope you will not be offended if I explete profanities now and then, for at the time of writing this, I have had pretty much a gut-full.

No,  shit,  sorry that came out wrong, as gut-full may imply that I have been imbibing in the demon drink and as strange as this may sound too you (not that you know me) I haven’t, which if you did know me, you would think rather odd.

In fact can I ask you to hold on a sec as I’m going to get one and then my gut-full may make more sense. So if you could take a short break in the reading of my application I would appreciate it.

You see to tell you the truth I’m pretty much fed up with the total office environment. I am, god forbid, no longer (not that I ever was) a Gen Y. In fact as I am not obliged to tell you my age in my submission I will withhold that information,  but let us say I am between 55 and 58 years young. If you smiled I am glad, that was my intent, however moving on here; this is OLD according to some prospective Employers.

Our lot have passed our use by date, in being able to contribute anything worthwhile to the workforce. Well what the fuck feck is that all about? Just because our memories are not what they use to be and we have a few character lines, does not mean we are over the hill or are completely bloody useless.
May I give you point form to properly explain myself?

  • I am clearly not over the hill or 6′ under it therefore I am worthy of being employed.
  • I do not want to be in an environment with all females as we all now it ends up a bitch fest.
  • I do not want to keep my mouth closed if I feel something is being handled incorrectly.
  • I do want to be able to voice my opinion without being  sacked downtrodden because of it.
  • I am a hard and conscientious worker (hell even my last Manager told me that just before I was sacked).
  • I at one stage ran my own business, so yes I do not what customer service is about, how to answer a bloody phone call and use a computer. Please don’t ask for Excel spread sheets utilising multiple formulas or Powerpoint or anything to heavy in Word as I’m a little fragile in those areas.
  • I am not on medication for dementia, depression, ADHD, schizophrenia or even headaches.
  • I shower daily and don’t have an old persons smell (though that may come, depending on how long I am in your employ).
  • I am past the child baring age, so I won’t be walking in with a huge grin on my face, holding my stomach and blurting “Guess what” and having to look at your pained expression of “Oh God Maternity Leave”.
  • I have travelled (though yes I would like to do more) let me say for this Resume I am tweeking it a little, but I’m not going to stay with you for 4 months only to then tell you I’m leaving  you stranded for a 12 month European vacation.
  • I do have a vice of smoking, however I do not ‘smell’ enough to reek and cause other staff members to run from the room holding a tissue over their nose. I do not require 24 breaks during my work day to light up, one or two is sufficient. This I know you would completely understand.
  • I enjoy a drink (socially only of course) which reminds me this one is finished..be back. That being the case I do not carry a hip flask at all times and you will not find me under my desk slurring my words propped up against the back wall.
  • I do not use any walking aid ie wheelchair that would require the help of Gen Y to push me to my desk or to the toilet.
  • I do not wear hearing aids, so I do not need batteries replenished throughout my working day, or those to yell at a higher decibel level than normal.
  • I do wear glasses whilst using a computer, but I do remember where I leave them.
  • I do not get sick. Stop laughing. I have had the common cold twice in my entire life. Therefore I will not be taking endless sick days because of ‘gastro’, I stubbed my big toe, I have a migraine or I just didn’t want to work today.

Concluding because by now I feel you have had enough, well let me tell you something so have I!I want a change a sea-change, a life-change, a different course in my life to work out my years till I can retire. I am over pettiness in the work place, family businesses that refuse to let outsiders ‘in’.

Over the bullshit, the crap, the smiling sweet to those I cannot stomach., hearing ‘back in my day’ or how old did you say you were???

  • I possibly have some anger management issues that I should deal with.

Looking forward to you favourable response at your earliest (ie one round of interviews is enough, if you can’t make up your mind the first time, then you are wasting my time…and I am old remember!!)

Yours Sincerely,

Rambly

Feel Free to Delete This Post

Rambly…simply Rambling…delete if you wish.
I have no challenges, no photo or word prompts…nadda…zilch…tonight/this morning at 1:09am Saturday morning 23rd of March 2013 I sit in my study, I contemplate the events of ..yesterday.
Totally boring and un-news worthy to those that follow me. No poetry, no words of love or inspiration, no deep and meaningful of world events (not that I have EVER written this) or lost loves or heart ache. Yet I write …to share…cathartic, words to get off my chest for the world to see, that I alone, only feel.
Pfft
annoyance
disregard
anger
I didn’t conform
my voice was heard
they did not wish
to hear it
stand alone
like the empty
bottle of vodka
that sits beside me
thrown away
like trash
can I be
recycled?
time to write more
than what I have
to bore the pants
off everyone
forgive me for I will
I need this
to give me back my
sanity
Dear Followers,
I wrote this tonight, because today at 4.30pm I was shall I say politely ‘fired’ from my job. We have a 3 months probation period over here and in that time the employer can cease your position without much or any justification as to why. I spoke up in the 2.5 months of being there. I job that I was given from my girlfriend putting my name forth. There was bullying, ignoring and I wasn’t part of the ‘cult’ demographic, I would not reform. Yay me,  you may say for standing up for myself, unfortunately this is where it has got me. Speaking up, saying it wasn’t right, to be treated like this. I was told in my last meeting with the Manager this afternoon, that I am an extremely hard and conscientious worker….however it seems that meant very little if I wasn’t going to abide by their ‘ways’ (my words not theirs).  Yes I am out of work and Mr. S is my rock, but what hurts the most is my girlfriend of 6 years who works there…has not contacted me since I left this afternoon.
Rambly has pledged to be honest and upfront about her feelings and her journey.. this is what I do now. So I ask for your forgiveness for I will have a lot of time on my hands in the next few weeks…months whilst I try and seek employment and I shall be more prolific in my writing – to heal myself. PLEASE feel free to delete the email notifications or if you so wish to un-follow, I will not think badly of you for doing so. I need to do this for me and I apologise in advance if I irritate the ‘crap’ of you. This is not my intent.
Yours Rambly
xx

Car Saga continues

Apologies, yours truly is in a little bit of a writing frenzy it seems (once again). So sorry for so many Posts and filling up your In-Box! Delete if you don’t wish to hear about my daughters Car Saga.

 

 

Just an update on Daughter # 2’s car.

Still impounded, Mr. S phoned and spoke to the ‘gentlemen’ today, we are lodging a formal complaint with Consumer Affairs now. We are told legally the 2 contracts (the hire car agreement and her car being fixed) are 2 separate issues and she is entitled to have her car back.

Then we are seeking legal advice from a solicitor. He (the not so very nice Manager) sent us the quote for the 5 minute repair (according to the other Panel Beaters she saw) and it amounts to $2,600.00. This company are scammers which is unfortunate for they are a family business that has been established well over 40 years.  Now we wait for the paper-work to be filled in, for even though he accepts a payment plan, he will NOT release the car till that is paid in full ($1,500). Very handy to have a Panel company who also runs their own Insurance company isn’t it……

Meanwhile yes good old Mum will be driving her into work before I head onto mine..ah the joys! 🙂

 

 

 

Spam-a-licious folks!

hello there and thank you for your info  YOU’RE WELCOME..WHO ARE YOU?– I have certainly picked up anything new from right here. SO WHERE DID YOU PICK IT UP RIGHT HERE FROM? I did however expertise several technical points using this site, I AM SO GLAD YOU EXPERTISED POINTS, I BE ABLE TO SLEEP NOW since I experienced to reload the site lots of times previous to I could get it to load properly. WTF? I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK? DUNNO – ASK THEM Not that I am complaining, WELL HOW AWFULLY GOOD OF YOU but sluggish loading instances times will very frequently affect your placement in google YOU DON’T SAY and can damage your high quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. YUP..RIGHT GOT IT Well I’m adding this RSS to my e-mail GAWD DO YOU HAVE TO? and can look out for much more of your respective interesting content. MY CONTENT IS NORMALLY UNRESPECTIVE? Ensure that you update this again very soon BET YOU BOTTOM DOLLAR MATE..

 

I’ve been browsing on-line greater than three hours these days, SO YOU DON’T WORK THEN? yet I never discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours. GEE THANKS MATE..SO ONLY THE ‘ONE’ ARTICLE THEN? It?¦s beautiful value sufficient for me. BEAUTIFUL VALUE SUFFICIENT YOU SAY..? In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made good content material as you probably did, WHAT I’M DONE AND DUSTED NOW? the web might be a lot more useful than ever before AWW SHUCKS ALL BECAUSE OF LITTLE OL’ ME, YOU’RE TOO KIND.

 

I intercepted that bitch having an affair with an alternative female patient directly on PlayerBlock

AGAIN WHAT THE???

 

Loving the SPAM right now – my replies of course are in caps…I know..I know you figured that out already. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do we put our names down for these sites?

Do we all do it? Sign onto sites to receive a squizillion emails of special offers on a daily basis? ‘Stuff’ that we would never contemplate buying at any other time…

Below is one example I received

Shape your bust to perfection with seamless padded La Bra 

Ah yes the most anticipated product of all time.

For those who

  • have had children and breast fed (heaven help us for doing something that we felt was right) and find their boobs going south never to return north.
  • for those that are small breasted.
  • for those that are large breasted.
  • for those who have odd shaped boobies.

So yes ladies (or gentlemen with man boobs) here is your answer it seems, the La Bra the wonder Bra, the

  • Union Under-Flannel
    • Well-Being
  • Breast Supporter

Call it what you will this is your answer to the  “Over the Shoulder Boulder Holders” wear them and stand proud! They will shape your mammaries to perfection, no more will you have to hide under bulky jumpers, or caftans. No more will you feel like the odd one out next to all those women with the perfect shape. (We aren’t talking the Madonna Bra folks) for this is seamless- whoot – whoot!

Seriously, half of the emails I receive – I delete.

No I don’t want 24 bottles of wine for the price of 12 (ok I fib maybe I do want that one).

I don’t want the Bra of all Bras.

I don’t want the two for one offer of canvas prints.

One day … yes I live in hope, something will pop up on my emails that is actually worth buying!

Yours in fed-up-ness

Mumsy

My Beef

No I’m not talking
Sirloin
Organic
Ground
Brisket

I’m talking Shopping Centres

Can we PLEASE  have some semblance of order whilst walking people,  either stick to the left or the right and maintain it?

Can, if you are standing on the escalator PLEASE keep to one side – not smack bang in the
middle so none of us more urgent shoppers ie moi can pass you?

Can you PLEASE when walking down the strip of said shopping centre (Mall) if you don’t want to keep to one side that you at least look behind you when you drift, so you don’t step on my toes?

Can you PLEASE not text on your phone as you walk, glancing up VERY occasionally to see if you’re going to collide with me?

Can you PLEASE not have a conversation that is making you so obviously brain numb that you crawl at a snails pace and get me even more frustrated?

Can you PLEASE keep your little darling offspring under control so they don’t dart in-between or around my legs?

Can you PLEASE watch your damn trolley if you insist on carting your precious 3 articles around with you and not dig into the back of my ankles?

Deep Breath

Lastly do you rally want to know what the sperm count was that they analysed from said hand rails of escalators?

Thought not…and what on earth would possess them to analyse that anyway??

Consideration people of others, who don’t want to do the ‘duck and weave’ every time they shop!

Till next time viewers.

Credit pic zdnet.com

What irritates me # 3

December has certainly been a busy month for me – no not work – well the first few weeks of it – but I have blogged away merrily every day sometimes 7 a day.. with what you say?

 

Just stuff 🙂

This is another example – Pull up a comfy chair…

The other day I made the extremely brave move and went head first into modern technology and bought an IPhone 5. Now I am the kinda gal who was reasonably happy with her tiny button Nokia E71 even though I had to hold the phone at a distance so I could actually read the thumbnail size keys,  till the battery started dying on me.

Then it was a case of “Really why don’t you get an IPhone?” “Coz I don’t really need one that’s why”. “But there are so many apps you can have on them”. “Apps, Schnapps – why do I want an App that tells me what noises I make during my sleep, or how I’m going to look in 40 years from now – coz I won’t be here”. “Really mum…”

Ahh technology grabs us sooner or later and we are  forced cohersed into having the latest gadgetry , so yes I sucummbed. However this is not with this post is about…or is it?

Instead of walking into our the Mobile telephone dealer shop and standing around in a queue  for 20 minutes then going through the rigamarole of paperwork for an hour, I rang up the Telco. Mind you the staff of this Telco (like many others in Australia) have been transported have had their jobs made redundant and Sales and Customer Service  are moved to other countries.

I’m not naming which country, in case I offend anyone.

Anywhoo 3 hours later and 6 different departments and being hung up twice, it was ordered. They were advertising order by the 18th get it before Christmas. I ordered on the 18th and had one hell of time trying to actually receive by Christmas. “Oh no Miss Jenny the paperwork will take 5 – 10 working days”.

Not on the add.

Needless to say there was a considerable amount of fluffing around, annoyance (on my part) and frustration. This morning I received a text you phone will delivered to the local Post Office. Wonderful you say… no then she tells me I need the letter with the special bar code in order to pick that up and that will take yes 3-5 working days.

Not on the add or told to me during the ‘lengthy’ conversation.

So how does one get said phone BEFORE Christmas if I can’t pick it up until I get this letter (I was quite ummm irrate by this stage).

Hang on Miss Jenny.

Right then another 20 minutes…. could do my nails..

“Ok Miss Jenny – we will fax the letter to the Telco store, you pick that up (as if that is easy with Christmas shoppers in manic numbers) then you take that to the Post Office and you can collect”.

“Right” Miss Jenny said.

Sure enough within the hour the text came that the notification had been faxed to the Telco shop..off Mr. S and I went to collect (and had to do some more Xmas shopping of course) my idea not his.

Then onto the post office.

GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!

I walked in at 4.35pm. I walked out with phone at 5.10pm.

The idiot gentleman, I swear did not not know the computer system, 3 different forms of ID to collect said phone, which I had but he wouldn’t listen to me.

This went on…and on…and on…and on. I was losing it big time!

At 5.10 I walked out with my new technology under arm (after having to buy a cable to download all information off old phone into computer) so I could retrieve and put onto new phone (if it works that is).

I love technology…. I love Christmas……

 

 

3 more challenges given from I need Help. This is # 1- Why I dislike Camping.

This one was kindly requested from Lynette d’Arty-Cross she asks Why don’t I like Camping?

To give this true substance I am drawing on the odd 1 or 2 camping expeditions from many…many  years ago…

zzzzzzzz No I’m not sleeping

“Great”!  Pesty little vampires with wings about to attack me now. I wave my hand madly thinking that will distract them. “Go find someone else to bite”. No, clearly not listening, one lands in my ear and the sound escalates to ZZZZZZZZZZZ!

“Go away”.

“Shush” said one of the parentals.

Yes, when we had our camping ‘holidays’ (and I say that term rather loosely)  we the 5 of us were in one tent, a big tent mind, but still a TENT.

“Mosquitoes” I reply grumbling & grizzling.

“Well get up quietly and get some spray”.

“It’s cold I’m not getting out of the covers”.

Silence..

zzzzzzz here they come again, like kamikaze pilots on their mission,  now if you can believe the myth that they go for quality blood, then I have bucket loads as I am always the one to look like I’ve been struck down with chicken pox overnight. ZZZZZZZZZZ

“Good grief” head under the covers.

“It’s cold” I continue to grizzle (yes I really am fun to take away camping).

Silence…

Pit…pit…

“Rain?” You have to be kidding, it’s raining now.

This tent didn’t have the fancy built in floor liners as they do now, we threw a couple of tarpaulins down as best we could when pitching the tent in the dead of night usually.

“Now the ground will get wet”.

“No it won’t shush and go to sleep”, the other parental.

Silence….

The night seems longer than a usual night, I’m uncomfortable lying on a blow up mattress that has as much air in as a packet of chips. I toss, I turn, I swat , I’m cold, I wait for the morning.

“Morning!” both parentals and brothers echo.

Silence…

“Do I really have to walk 1/2  mile to get to the toilet & showers?”

Silence…

We (I) stagger out to the daylight, eyes squinting, at least the sun is out.

We sit on logs and the parentals organise breakfast, yes bacon and eggs on a campfire (gas burner) tastes so much better in the outdoors.

Shuttlecock time after breakfast – one of the games we played a lot when we were younger. Whack hit, catch, retrieve, whack.

Time moves on….

Camping when I was in my late teens.

Still the vampires, still the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, still the dirty, dusty ground inside and outside the tent.

This time though it’s a campfire for breakfast, it smells good in the open air. There are cups of warm tea and even with sore backs we (I) can manage to smile and laugh and chill. The walk to the toilet & showers didn’t phase me as it did when I was younger and I put up with enjoy the camaraderie of others.

I’ll camp now – but my version of camping is to stay in a cabin fully equipped – nice beds – toilet – shower – couch – table to eat at – kitchenette –  microwave – TV – radio.

NOT because I am spoilt and want the grand luxuries – but because I’m older and I don’t need to have a sore back, I need a toilet within seconds (if you get what I’m saying here). If it’s miserable outside I want to curl up with a good book, or listen to music or watch the idiot box. I want to shower where I don’t have to wear thongs (flip-flops) on my feet for fear of catching tinea. A table to eat at instead of juggling a plate on my knee.

So there you have my “Why I don’t like Camping” tale..I can DO camping just my style 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What irritates me # 2

I decided to walk outside instead of pummelling the tread-mill. After all the sun is shining and it’s a beautiful 22deg here in Melbourne. This prompted Irritation # 2.

One of my pet-hates which irritates the B-jaysus out of me is this.

Riding your bicycle whilst exercising your dog. If I am about to offend any of my followers I apologise in advance.

  • You yell “Walkies” (let’s call him Bob) Bob rushes up, feet prancing, bottom swinging, smiling and tail wagging merrily at the word.
  • Bob’s body language comes to an abrupt halt when he sees you get the bike out.
  • Bob trots along beside you in the beginning whilst you sit on your comfy seat peddling merrily along.
  • Bob didn’t know you had eaten 3 slices of cheese-cake the night before and wanted to lose a few pounds.
  • Bob didn’t know that it was such a warm day outside.
  • Bob didn’t know you weren’t bothered to stop to let him rest.
  • Bob didn’t know that his exercise meant being dragged along for how many miles you wanted to do.
  • Bob didn’t know that walkies meant he wasn’t allowed to stop, to smell the grass, have a rest or pee on grass or a tree.
  • Bob didn’t know that he would get thirsty and tired.
  • Bob kept running, looking up to say please stop as his legs were tired and sore.
  • Bob did know that one of his pleasures in life is to please his master.
  • Bob kept going thinking he was making YOU happy.
  • Bob wishes he could speak.

You return with a very worn out and not very happy Bob.

You go and shower and have a cold drink.

Bob laps up water from his bowl whilst being spread eagled on the floor catching his breath.

Yes if Bob loves to run – PLEASE  let him run in a park so he may stop for a rest when he needs to or pee on a tree, or ride your bike without him.

PLEASE everyone use common sense especially if the weather is hot – if Bob must be exercised this way (and for the life of me I don’t see why it’s necessary) – give him a rest every few minutes.. in other words ‘Get Off Your Bike’.

Happy Bob – how all Bobs should be.

Credit-123rf/Google