Chat time

It’s Saturday night, well over here it is. It’s 9:24pm to be precise. We are now in Spring, but we have the heater on as it’s well ‘bloody cold’!

Today 7 hours of prepping and painting the house, haven’t really scratched the surface. Have I mentioned I hate painting?

My week, no Services this week, one next Wednesday though, which I shall write up by Monday hopefully.

K was going through a bad time, as they have to leave the shared  house that they were in for 6 weeks. Borderlines do not do well in shared accommodation, for obvious reasons. Their body language, their mood swings do not sit well with others who don’t know they are Borderlines (and it’s something she isn’t going to advertise).

I have had a very stressful week, not knowing where they would go, but luckily one of the ladies that K does cleaning for has offered a room at her place. They already have a border in one room and K and J will be extra. It amazes me how some people are so genuinely generous. I had met the owner when I first started cleaning, she hadn’t even met K let alone J, but she said she wanted to do what she could to help. So I love her for this, as my ‘baby’ won’t be on the streets.

After the painting today, Mr. S and I went out for dinner, the shortest dinner in history.

We went to a dumpling restaurant. Bringing our bottle of wine, when we asked for glasses, the waitress asked if we would pay $2.00 per glass, their way of saying corkage charge.

The meal apart from the dumplings, was sadly mediocre, Mr. S’s main that he ordered resembling a child’s vomit..I kid you not, vegetables, prawns, seaweed, fungi and uncooked egg thrown over the top..it wasn’t finished. We drove there, ate and back home within the hour.

I have been doing my assessments for the Marriage Celebrancy and on to the last one, where now after writing up a Ceremony, according to instructions given, I have to video myself conducting it. Oh joy, oh bliss!

Tonight, perhaps due to a couple of lovely glasses of wine, I’m feeling a little more like my old self, a sense of humour emerges, been such a long time.

Tomorrow, daughter B (eldest) is taking K to the pictures. This is such a huge thing. They have not spoken for over 18 months. I have been going to therapy with B and she has been learning about Borderlines and what I experience and her sister.

It’s baby steps, but I hope this will be the beginning of them at least being able to talk or be in the same room with each other.

I am then taking K to lunch. Should be interesting,  turquoise hair and all.

So for tonight, the old Jen is back, life seems a little easier, especially that K will have a roof over her head. I won’t jinx it by saying any more.

 

x

Yes it is I- being bold and unashamedly brash ..and no not poetry

 

 

 

Ok..it’s been a rough month or so and I may explain at a later date what has happened.. But for now…for today.. Well it’s my birthday (19th) so I shall be brazen, possibly because I’ve had a wine or two. I went to see the movie Jersey Boys and had a beautiful dinner with Mr.S..and well I just felt like telling everyone..so..now I have.

x

Summer in a winter

Fermented golden as the sun
Not as the silver oyster
On a clouded day

I think of wavering ammophila
Tossing, turning to the wind
Birds cry overhead

With drops of nectar
I escape, no thoughts of present
or of past

In the moment, granules
anoint my feet, I hear
the ocean call

I care not that winters here
sand cold and scratchy against
my soles

Allowed to be alone in thought
I’m there with summer
where troubles are released
I’ve taken myself beyond

Copyright JMTacken 8.7.14

twisted thoughts (Poetry?)

Knotted ropes ~ ‘pon the deck of what
life is, twisted thoughts not lucid
minds play tricks
I stand at the helm, the craft I steer
a listless fog has descended
blurs the vision, once clear

storms, rough waves and endless seas
darkened horizon enshrouding me
how minds work, on days like these
when others paths seem easy
I take a deep breath, hold tight to the wheel
navigate round the rocks, try to feel

sinking ~ drowning, ‘neath the clouds and
strong winds, lurching, floundering
yet unable to move, caught in the triangle
where ships never leave, hold strong 
ride the tide, hold strong, I repeat
I’ve nowhere to hide

take me out of the squall, let my mind come back
ascend from this darkness, never look back
days when it’s hard, the course too rough
I can’t change my status, I’ve tried hard enough
let me, get to shore, break the cycle I’m in
throw down this anchor ~ let me begin

©jmtacken Feb 2014

More poetry than prose I think – but that’s where I went with this.
I have to admit there are many times when I write, when I worry about how others will react, which at times makes me hesitant to post some of what I do. I am not asking for praise, just letting you know, that I am still learning and have a way to go in my writing. I simply needed to write this. 

A thank you to Michael http://summerstommy.com for his nudge with the above.

Chat Time Personal ‘stuff’ – pour a drink – its been a while

Dear  Fans Followers,

My Muse is still drinking I think and poetry is a struggle (at 4:18 pm Thursday afternoon) but I didn’t begin this blog to even write poetry so YAY to me for attempting…yes?

This afternoon, as Melbourne Australia (Horsetralia) swelters under a blazing hot sun and hot northerly winds, the temperature is 44C – that’s erm roughly 111.2 Farenheit. That is hot, I am hot (well I was when I was younger – that’s a joke everyone) so I sit here under a ceiling fan with the Evaporative cooler going flat-out as she/he is struggling somewhat.

Since I haven’t had a chat for a while, and Poetry Muse is off in some corner possibly sporting a massive hangover, my chat Muse is still able to talk…stop groaning it won’t be that bad.

Last weekend I had a visitor, http://summerstommy.com Michael lives in NSW – that’s heading up North from where I live and he was down visiting some of his children. He is the 2nd blogger I have met through WP and being a fellow Aussie – well put it this way – I greeted him at the door with a hug and a few kindly expletives 🙂 as is ‘our way’.

He arrived Sat and he sat in the kitchen whilst I fiddled about making potato salad for our BBQ dinner that night. He chatted to Mr. S and it was all very lovely and relaxed. Later we had the BBQ and I cooked a peppered butterfly lamb (Lyn will know of this) 🙂

Now Michael being a retired Drama and English teacher has assisted me along the way with the writing of my Eulogies and he does a damn fine job let me tell you. I use the word ‘that’ too many times, he corrects, I word a paragraph weird..he corrects. So as I had the Service yesterday – it was a perfect opportunity for him to sit with me and go through what I had written. “He done good” 🙂 (he will hate that) I can write, but sometimes my use of the English language is a little all over the shop and he points me in the right direction.

He stayed over Saturday night and Sunday morning the 3 of us went out for breakfast – ah to be sure it was grand. Meeting a fellow blogger is strange, you realise – they aren’t some imaginary/virtual being that you have communicated with, but a real live person (odd but true).

He left Sunday afternoon and I have to say it was a great pleasure to not only meet him, but chat/banter/whine/discuss etc. I even put the poor bugga through an ordeal he probably didn’t anticipate and took him to meet my Penguins – so he could see that they too (to?) (waits for the correction) were ‘real’.

So if you don’t read him or follow him – go over and take a peek – he writes mainly poetry and he’s a lovely, caring human being.

Yesterday I had my first Burial – all my other Services have been Cremations.
It was 41C yesterday, the Chapel Cooling system was struggling, as was I and I stuffed up and where did I stuff up…reading the Lord’s Prayer for the family. Of all the things to go wrong when I should know this off by heart – and do… but the family were also saying it out loud in front of me..and well…I lost my place. I apologised and continued.

After the Service we went to the burial site for her internment. A family with 6 children, 19 grandchildren and 29 great grand children. They let free their balloons, scattered carnations and roses onto the Coffin and everyone was emotional and very flustered with the heat.

I was invited back for refreshments by the family, they were simply lovely, getting me food and drink and asking me to sit with them. Hopefully the ‘muck-up’ will be forgotten, I did apologise again to them, they said not to worry…

Homefront: My Penguins – Pop seems to be struggling to comprehend what I say to him of late, when he stands now, his whole body shakes and he must sit down within a couple of minutes. Mum is on her medication for her memory loss due to her strokes and now and then gets very angry for no real reason. I am at the point of talking to her like a child, but not in a demeaning way, for I know this is not her.

I won’t go on with other members of the family – let me just say, things are in place to get us back on track…hopefully.

So that’s it – you can wake up now – sorry if I bored the pants off you, as I said it’s been a while since I chatted.

Yours Sincerely,

Rambles

Oh Muse Muse where for art thou Muse (Dribble)

and so no poetry it seems
for my muse has left the scene
skipped off down the corridor
with a Vodka and lemonade

she’ll end up in the toilet
then probably do her nails
wax her legs and pluck her brows
where ever will it end!

For those who follow what I do
I must apologise
I’ve called for her
even yelled at her
she fails to recognise

though she was walkin’ kinda funny
the last time that I looked
reminds me of yours truly
(hell do I really walk like that?)

so until she decides to return
I have to rely on me
the drivel that I write now
well you can plainly see
I NEED her back, pronto
where is the silly cow??

put the bloody Vodka down
can’t you see I’m in a bind
timing is ..well everything
don’t be so unkind
I swear if she don’t come back soon
my choices are not many
I’ll have to stop writin’ poetry
Oh Jenny.. Jenny.. Jenny

©jmtacken Jan2014

See this is what I write, when I have no idea what to write, but need to write..right?
I’m sorry I made me do it.

Why are we…

What do we seek in life? What do we wish for? Our hearts to be filled with pleasure and not pain. Love and joy and happiness. We search, we seek, constantly from the moment of our birth, tread paths not knowing the outcome, we learn, lessons day by day, to reach what, to be able to communicate, to gather friends, to be happy within ourselves, do we have a destination?

Are we merely breathing, acting upon the impulses of life, working jobs, doing tasks, the day to day ~ the norm? What is it we want to accomplish, by the end of our life’s road?
We lived a ‘good life’ we are satisfied, or is there so much more?

Should we make our mark in life, our footprints not eroding with time, will we be remembered for what we have done, more so than who we are? If this the case, we ask ourselves what do we need to do, what changes should we bring?

She/he was a good person, they cared, they protected, they loved.
She/he was thoughtful, did what they could to help others, they lent their hand.
She/he made me laugh and brought me so much joy.
Are these enough?

For when we leave this earthly plain and are burnt to ashes or buried in the ground
what will others say of us?

Sometimes when I write, these thoughts appear from no where, I exist, I was born, I live and I shall die, I want my time to mean something and merely not float by.

As I look upon the creases in my hands, my fingers hit the keys, I wonder where has my life taken me and where do I go from here?

©jmtacken Jan 2014

Photo Credit: http://www.deviantart.com

To the New Year

Days

the one we left, the one we’re in, the one after tomorrow

vanished held in memory, hearts still beat, lives forge on

the year quietly disappears ~ a new year emerges amid the

flash of midnight

Changes

perhaps, resolutions? Kept for a special day when in honesty

should be at any time, we grow older, they say wiser, are we?

ready for new challenges to face, new paths to explore

along this highway

Knowing

life alters, awaiting the changes that nature may bestow

~ the unknowing, the underlying, what will come to us

shall we cry in grief, be tormented, understand

this is life

Friendships

that we held, flutter in the breeze, a dove not wanting to be held

learning who are true and who are not, new ~ giving strength

we cling, can we truly forget the pain of others lost

we are human

Writers

met along the way, virtual, not knowing of their lives, the inner

sanctum of themselves, words, lines, offerings and I wonder

as they may who we really are, what makes them tick

curious and curiouser

Humans

what brings them joy and makes them who they are

perhaps too deep but my thoughts, my thoughts alone

shall the new year bring more insight into who you

are ~ your lives

Time

that ticks, more quickly as the years pass by

once young with thoughts of many years ahead

now the time is cut by half or more and so we dread

the path ahead

Melancholy

a wine, a distant thought, those we have lost

those left behind and we still remain ~ the time unknown

grasping for those we loved not by our side

tears we weep

Breathe

take in the new year joy, the changes it will bring

hide the fears of what may come, for they may live

~I may live and tell myself be strong what ever

comes my way

Thanks

to those I’ve met this year for love, support and more

encouragement and bonding in this virtual world

I never would have guessed – no I never would

so I thank you

©jmtacken December 2013

Remember:

Roses are Red

Wine is too

Poetry is damn hard

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and the moment you have all been waiting for…or not

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 26,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 10 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

In saying the above, yes the New Year brings many thoughts, visions of perhaps events I do not want to know, but I want to say thank you to all my readers who have read my ramblings over the last year. Also thank you for your kindness and words in my new ‘career’ – all of you have been with me along this journey. My life that I share about me, my ‘penguins’ my happiness my woes…and well I’m just grateful.

If you weren’t here ~ I simply would have given this away long ago.

It is NEW YEAR’S EVE here in Australia ~ and I wish each and everyone of you a healthy, happy, love filled, peaceful and beautiful 2014 and I hope that we get to know each other even more in the coming new year.

🙂  and xxx from the Mums

Minds Eye

Fantasy

imagination weaves into our existence ~  reality
played or not ~ surfaced, hidden, what is seen by
minds eye

make of it what you will, no conformity required
hidden secrets or desires, beginning ~ middle ~ end
what say you

this is your creativity, not the one who lives next door
unless an invitation was extended,  your choice
you choose

seemingly from nowhere, conjure images that delve
into forbidden or what you wish to be,  inconspicuous
or blatant

tangled ~ free form,  the possibilities are endless
eyes opened or closed tight, in light or in the dark
your fantasy

dream it ~ feel it ~ no one will ever judge
for this belongs to only you and no one reads
your mind

©jmtacken 31st Oct 2013

Day before we leave

This isn’t poetical..it’s a free write that I wrote into my phone as Mr. S and I sat on the foreshore overlooking the beach. It’s..well simply me..being ‘Mums’ and writing what I felt and saw.

Mountains in the distance..
but not that far away, tree tops
that are broccoli fully grown and
depending on the angle of the sun and
shadows cast, something in-between

the foreground of the sand trees
a brighter green, shrunken against
the back drop of the hills
yachts whose sails are brilliant white
flutter against the sun, into
the breeze

flat is the ocean, a dinner plate
not yet filled, until the crest of
white disturbs it’s calm, the dish
now starts to fill, sitting on the
foreshore with late sun
observing teenage love holding hands
and impressing

remembering the openness
of kissing, casting inhibition aside
the cloud that stops the sun
not darkening thoughts of love, as on the path
people walk dogs, ride bikes or jog
and palm tree fingers flicker
in the summer air

thinking who I love in this world
how privileged I am to feel this way
to witness what I do, knowing tomorrow
the plane will take me home
the cold will hit my skin
I write as the sun heralds its goodbye

a tear surfaces in my eye, a knot forms it’s
way into my stomach, I breathe deep, stay
centred..knowing…our lives are here
and now, how beautiful our surrounds are
if we only stop and open our eyes… to think
each day a holiday and not just for now