always knock twice (Prose)

you knock once

knuckling the wood grain

I stand

chipped enamel scratches

unpainted floorboards

stub my cigarette

hard against the lacquered saucer

it’s mate broken years ago

                ~~

step slow to the door

head tilted view

through curtains of chiffon

to make sure it was you

its been months

since you were here

               ~~

perfumed gin hangs on my breath

I wont stand so close

you are here for just one reason

to take the kid to a circus

trying to make up for

times you never showed

you knock once more

patience

not your strong point

             ~~

“Alright” I yell

“Keep your shirt on”, slurred

I wonder if you’ll notice

my mind flashes back to

better times

how you looked without

a shirt

“Nathan”, I scream

“Your father’s here

Jesus,  are you ready?”

                ~~

I hear you shuffle from

your room, hair not brushed

mud caked jeans from yesterday

t shirt with the coca-cola stain

I forgot to spray

before I washed

“Crap, look at the state of you

can’t you dress in something clean

your dad ‘ill think I’m unfit to

look after you”

                 ~~

“This is what’s clean”

you murmur, head bowed

I long for another sip of gin

“You ready mate”, he asks

as if our yesterdays did not exist

“Perhaps a shopping trip along the way?”

you smile

arms around his shoulders

walking out the door

I watch the car pull away

reach for the bottle

forgetting any future

forgetting  every past

                 ~~

©jmtacken Jan 2014

Photo Credit: Flickr and jcoterhals

I couldn’t find a photo of a little boy with muddy jeans and T, but his little face was too adorable to pass up

and thank you to Brian Miller from WaystationOne for the poke here and there.

Set ’em up Joe (Prose with Sound)

Love on the rocks, ain’t no big surprise
Just pour me a drink and I’ll tell you some lies

huh ~familiar words comin’ from those speakers Joe
set ’em up pour it straight, just a tipple over ice
no hell make it a double.  Tipple won’t touch the sides
wanna know my life ~ my loves ~ my hates ~ my fears
~ my desires? Might take a while, or perhaps a minute
of your time, quiet in here tonight familiar ground
you listen to us, our thoughts out loud circumnavigating
slurred words fumbling lips
pouring our hearts over whiskey or wine

huh where do I begin. I can sit here ~ can’t I Joe
I can prattle, you can listen, got a deal?
just a nod or two is required now and then
that’s all I need, all I ask, let me know
you understand ~ even if you don’t
guess that’s what you’re paid for
change it up from mixing cocktails for the girls
hell it could be the highlight of your dreary
existence, crap ~ apologies, that should have
stayed in my head
wonder why life brings us trials?
to make us stronger, make us wise
what’s the point
do any of us learn from the past
friends we thought would stay, melt away like
this ice, kids big not little ~ disregard advice

pour me another Joe, yeah yeah not driving home
don’t panic all ish good cab/s on it’s way
liquid amber ~ ice cracks much like my mind
when I think of it, comfort in the booze
for an hour or two at least. Then I’ll wake
with a head like a bear, but for now it’s good
forget your troubles you know. Mind kinda’ wanders
sure you’ve had that to ~ huh Joe?
sorry, not the most stimulating conversation
I’ll go sit in the corner over there ~ out of view
and I’ll stop my talkin’ now coz’ I’m..I’m boring you

©JMTacken Oct 16 2013

Some wanted to hear my voice more – for the other 99% of you – sorry for what I have inflicted.

and no I wasn’t inebriated lol

Sharing with http://dversepoets.com as I wrote this the other night – hopefully it fits into the Beat Poetry Genre.

You failed to say

“You failed to say” …

that boys could break my heart ~~~ that one day I would fall in love
that I would hurt
that I as your daughter must be careful ~~~ for there are boys who
would toy with my emotions
twist my heart into a knot ~~~ and leave
you should have warned me
that not all boys play fair ~~~ should have let me know
that my gut would ache
that I would fail to sleep fail to eat ~~~ that I would weep with
tears that seemingly had no end
that my voice would scream ~~~ from inside and no one
would hear my pain

I sit looking at the glass ~~~ filled with wine ~~~ tempting
trying to erase ~~~ and understand
why you didn’t tell me ~~~ liquid nectar that helps me ~~~ shut out the world
dilutes my misery ~~~ room swirls ~~~ speech slurred

boys versus wine ~~~the wine has won this day.

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This was written for Picture it & Write

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A reminder with every Post that I do.   Reblogged from Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate….Ivonne’s Journey:

Fuzzy wuzzy was a worm and I’m not talking what’s in Tequila

and fuzzy wuzzy was a worm
or that is how it’s told

does fuzzy mean partake of
wine
sssh I’m not so bold

as to write a piece of
prose based on wine
that I have drunk?

forgive me (hic) is it
that bad? Crap 😦
is it really junk?

yes I’ve had a wine
or two
don’t think bad of me
my dears

tis been a long day that
I have had and it’s
wine not umpteen beers

so fuzzy maybe what has
come for wuzzy has dissolved
or is that wuzzy that has
emerged and fuzzy’s
been dissolved?

Pfft I’m not clear on
what I say, my brain has
turned to mush

and when I wake
and read this again
I am sure I’m bound
to blush

but put your hands up
if your game
to say you have
‘been there’

I’m sure you have
it’s not unheard
I’m sure you’ll want
to share…..

I can never look a bottle of Barcadi Rum in the face again…or is that bottle… or…

What have you drunk …but never will again?

Credit pic http://www.abc.net.au/science

Snake Bite

Snake bite dead of night

your verbal tirade began

I know not why

did the drink

lend you courage

venomous words

latched onto my heart

slithering unsuspected you enter

stalking your victim

dark room you sense

me hiding

hissing

taunting, wanting to

abuse

tongue flicking of hatred to

inflict pain to belittle me

to tell me I was worthless

saying that I’ve changed

venom strikes, your goal to penetrate

coursing my veins, swimming my skin

the skin you yearn

pleasure gained

you sneer, voice loud

sadistic grin your job was done

sliding away not looking back

laughing, leaving me

confused

shaking glad to be

alone

ramblingsfromamum 30.12.2012

I originally posted this, this afternoon to which I have now made some changes in collaboration with rulesofstupid  RoS

In saying that RoS did an edit and came up with the below which I must share for as far as I am concerned it is sheer brilliance. Please look at his Poetry if you are interested in this genre.

Night-snake tirade
Alcohol blades
venomous words
that latch my heart

Slither silent
Enter violence
Sensing a victim
Hiding

Tongue-flick
Hate-spit
Pain hits
Worthless
Me

I am less
Than you married

Poison words
Penetrate
As surrogate
For the slide you desire
Into my skin
To curse my veins
As you swim

This attacks climax
A sneer sadistic grin
A mere scorn-soaked whim
Then slip again

Laugh leaving
Me accused
Shakingly glad
To be
Alone