Changing – Havin a Chat

Pop and Mum Penguin (PP & MP) report.

I share because it helps me in a way and some of you have been asking about them and also K.

So… PP saw a new Neurologist and the results came back yesterday. He has a form of Parkinson’s which is called MSA Multiple Systems Atrophy – a rare form of Parkinson’s.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/multiple-system-atrophy/basics/symptoms/con-20027096

I’m on my IPad so not sure if the link will actually work, for those who want to read further about it. The prognosis, needless to say isn’t good. Pop will deteriorate, as this disease affects the brain and spinal cord. His movement (which is now severely limited) will become worse. This disease will affect not only his walking, which he can barely do now, but also his muscles, his speech, his swallowing, amongst a list of other issues. Five in every 100,000 people are afflicted.

We don’t know how long he has actually had MSA but life span is approximately 7 years from diagnosis.

I cried last night reading up about it, medication will ‘help’ but not cure. I know being 88 he as they say has had a ‘good innings’, but it doesn’t make this any easier. We just have to make him as comfortable as possible and hope he doesn’t suffer too much in the time to come. He told me the other day, whilst I was pushing him in his wheelchair to their room, “I’m over all of this Ginger’ – I replied, “I know Pop and if you want to go, go… We will be o..k”.

Giving your parent, the one that you love so much, approval to just let go is heartbreaking, but I needed him to know.

MP is pretty much the same. There are the days of being cognitive and ok in her world, then there are the others.
At the moment she does not want to be showered regularly. Her hair is sticking to her head. Because of refusing to have it washed. I have asked her so many times, but she insists its not dirty…what can you do…

K is dating (men from the dating Internet site) it’s hard to keep up. She is stronger, but her memory has a bit to go before she is stable enough to look for work (which she can’t do till December). I got her to volunteer at an Aged Care Home, close to us. She has been once in 2 weeks, sadly getting her motivated is a huge task. Even getting out of bed in the morning. I knock on her bedroom door at 9, sometimes it 10.30 or later before she emerges. 😔 I have to give her, her medications daily or she’ll forget. It is like she is 9 again and mum comes to the rescue…that’s the role of a mum isn’t it?

Me? Well I’m doing alright considering. I had a tooth play up last week, the cold drink that sends you through the roof. I knew then the nerve was dying, so yesterday off to a new dentist and had it extracted (4 injections later). Luckily it was right at the back, as I refuse to look like Ma or Pa Kettle!

Services, I have done 93 and yes the wedding is on the 25th…the days are going too fast.

Thanks for reading..listening.
Hope all is well in your world.
x

frame of minds

am I forgotten
amongst metal frames corroding
endless corridors, starched white sheets
remnants of my meals, dried upon the
pale blue gown I wear
– I never liked this colour blue

are you aware of
the breath you draw, is the exhale
breathed of me – as you daydream drying plates
looking onto fields of green, I’m amongst those
who soil their pyjamas and weep, take that rubbish away
– I do not like your jelly

I wonder if you notice
your visits are rare – in my head I see you smile
hear your voice, why have I so many bruises
the colour of petrol on my skin that’s paper thin
– I tell them they have to move me more

so will you come and visit
sit and read to me whispering – ‘you’ll be home soon’
back where I belong, where I can dry your plates
I’ll not get in your way, let me live where I feel safe
– just remind me who you are again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

… written for Open Link Night over at dVerse Poets Pub.

So like to see you there. They are celebrating their 2 year Anniversary!!

I’m sure there will be a drink on the house.

Losing touch – come back to me Mum

I see that glazed look
in your old eyes

the eyes that hold tears
wear and tear
from life

I feel your struggle
for recognition

of the past you
once knew
conversations had

Longing glances
to the distance

eye contact barely given
comprehension difficult
of those around you

your eyes can see, I saw you
yesterday, yet you had forgotten

Disinterest
feelings of loss
your life now changed

a burden you feel
to yourself and to others 

Like fitting the pieces of the
jig-saw puzzle
the pieces don’t seem

to fit anymore
trying to recollect

events of yesterday, or just a minute prior

Below is whom I write about tonight, her memory fades a little more each day and there is not a damn thing I can do to help her. If you wish to read a little more about this ‘English Rose’ that is my mum- please click on the below.

https://ramblingsfromamum.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/this-is-the-lady-my-mum/