Chat time once more ..I am SO bored

so unfortunately readers you shall have to bare the brunt of my boredom.

It is 4:27pm Tuesday (I think it’s Tuesday) staying at home every day makes me lose some days..ok even weeks of what was my normal 9-5 existence. I so need more work.

I sit here writing (or trying to at least a piece of prose/poetry) hell I still don’t really know the difference – even though Brian has told me (and I thank you Mr. M) … to me prose is pretty much a short story…I am sure I will get it eventually/hopefully … ‘anywho’ so what is happening around me right now, that would make it interesting enough to hold your attention?

Erm…ponders… outside we have a haze, I can smell the smoke from bush fires 95.6km away from us.
It’s an eerie feeling, as I walk out onto my deck and smell the smoke in the air. This is Summer in Australia unfortunately, we get used to it. Some young idiot kids, who think nothing better than throwing a live match into an open dry paddock. The other day when we had 42C a total fire ban day, some numbskulls were lighting fire-works…err hello wtf?

The haze is also next door, I don’t know if I have told you about my neighbours, the neighbours from hell… this is one reason we want to move. When I first moved here, the screaming matches that we had to endure were… not pleasant. I have put up with them since 1998. They have two children… early twenties now I guess. When they were little, I had to call the Police as they were screaming so badly that their kids went and sat outside on the pavement to get away.

The daughter has a little girl now and does not live at home. The mother, well what can I say, she screams and starts arguments at the drop of a hat.

As I sit here, the three of them are going at it again, the daughter and mum and dad, though dad tries to maintain some sort of peace, the mother, she’s uncontrollable.

My issue is their daughter with her little one, it’s difficult to sit and hear the baby cry (I think she’s under two years of age) because she is in the middle of her mother having a screaming session with her mother.

This child has no hope of a ‘normal’ upbringing. She hears the swear words bandied about as if it’s “Can you pass the salt please”. How will this child grow up, what is she learning from these ‘people’ to be in the middle of this, my heart goes out to her. It’s cruel, it’s nonsense and the problem is the parents and the mother cannot see what it will do to her.

I could go on and on, my boredom would lead me to tell you my entire life story at this point, but I shall save you all from that.

Till next chat time – it’s over and out from moi.

Break The Wall (Prose)


break it down for me

the intricacies
you splinter little parts of me
as wood under my skin

casting reasoning to the wind
talk to me ~repair the damage
the ‘kitchen sink’ once again
dragged up ~ the already resolved

counsellors said a waste of time
don’t walk away, I say sorry
I don’t know why
your words angrily whispered
slicing through
breath exhaled

arms flail in the air
the marionette
stringed by an invisible puppeteer
at least spoken words
give a chance
the silence
only lends itself
to confusion ~ doubt

pacing round the room
tension strung like wire
tears I cry watching you
you don’t realise
you’re ignorant to
my ache

our lives
both stressed
day to day
reached a T-intersection
both going different ways

we travelled the same road
once ~ now the fork divided
I’ll fight for you
I’ll fight for us
we can make this work
but break it down for me

so I can cease this hurt

©jmtacken Dec 2013


I wrote this some time back and strangely over the last few days of not being around too much, my enthusiasm has waned a little for writing. Perhaps the pressure of writing the Service and another to do for the 30th December, perhaps the Christmas events …and well life taking precedence.

Thank you for all those who commented on my last post (Leave of Absence) I apologise that I haven’t had time to comment individually to you all – but I think you know how grateful I am for you reading & your comments – so thank you.

I know this isn’t a Christmas Spirit piece and I am sure I will get my mo-jo back soon and I shall be writing a post just before Santa arrives.


Photo Credit:

Crosswords (Prose)

several scotches make my brain swirl

and I bleed,  not blood poured out from veins

but the spillage of a bond between a parent and her child

the insults, the doubts of a child,  who thinks I’ve done her wrong

cut me to the core, I wonder of her upbringing and what I have done to cause….

to make her feel this way and yet I cry the tears of mammoths as words spill from my heart

the indecisiveness of words said, of gestures that have been harsh, the solution not being reached

and in this moment, this now, when a discussion has been ceased, the words of a mother to the one she

loves don’t mean a thing


©jmtacken 21/11/2013

riders on the storm

Horses-1-K6IZAMQ25Y-1024x768Sharing with the wonderful folk at  dVerse – The Poets Pub (as written yesterday and domestic chores beckon).

the calm beginning ~ horses at the starting gate
before hooves punch the ground, breath through
nostrils flair; who will have the false start
words bandied back and forth in anger and
who will trip across the barrier
who will hold the reins tight listening
as tempers start to fray, like rhythmic feet
upon the ground, dismantling the clay

who listens to who; whose the judge without
a jury ~ yes but you don’t understand
I am this way, I am who I am, I cannot change
my life will always be the same

I hear you, I have empathy, but you have
to change yourself to see, to overcome the
hurdles you now face, to get you to
a better place, to be the one you wish to be

but there is no hope ~ Why can’t you see
with hands that clench and feet that step
from side to side;  body tense;  tears flow
and as your mum ~ have no place to go with this
to handle, to help you understand
I watch as you fall apart ~ before my very eyes
I want to hug, but that will only disguise
what needs to be said out loud, with both voices
raised, how much more can we both take
the horses have bolted and who won the race

©jmtacken Sept 2013

*Please let me know if you have issues with the audio – I don’t know how to fix it though..unfortunately 😦


words ricochet back – forth
screaming voices
whose the first to take control
to dominate the ‘discussion’
bullets hit home
things said in heat, I’d welcome
a hot summers day, I would trade
the scorching searing, replace
the deep breaths trying to grab air
for understanding, but I have only
bewilderment and hear
the slamming of the doors
not knowing which way to turn
what should be said, reactions
wanting to start again
not dragging up the
‘kitchen sink’
focussing on the now
but I don’t, we can’t return
to normal, tears are shed
anger is left in hearts
feelings of I understand
but I don’t

We have them but do we really need them?

Neighbours yes..those of  you that live in suburbia (as I do) and not on some vast acreage swamped either side by rolling green hills adorned with daisies or sunflowers as tall as your good self, but live in streets, courts, places, cull de sacs, roads, avenues, ways, drives (I think you’re getting the drift).

Wouldn’t it be lovely if one could choose who they live next to.

To our left we have the 2 child, 2 parent typically domestic household. Every now & then the good woman of the house raises her voice to tick off one of her boys. Every now & then one of the boys will throw his tennis ball/basket-ball over our fence, then the knock  comes on the door.

As soon as I see his face slightly hidden behind the fly-wire screen door, it drops, for I know that I shall have to go & retrieve like some blood-hound on the chase.  Albeit now & then we say  “Hi” in our adjoining driveways, or pop in to borrow steal a cup of sugar (well I mean whoever does return sugar) & it’s all pleasant & non committal.

Across the road I know one family again 2 parents, 3 children older and lovely people. In fact we did socialise quite a bit with them, them over for drinks us over there & that continued for some time, unfortunately she is not well so the socialising has petered out, but we still exchange a smile, a wave, or a quick walk to meet in the middle of our court to catch up.

To the right of us, well how do I put this delicately..ok I can’t. The neighbours from hell would aptly describe them.

I have lived here now since 1998 (you do the maths I’m no good at it). For quite some years their 2 children lived at home (now they have moved on) they are of ethnic descent (still really haven’t figured out what) & as we know they can be shall I say a little volatile?

The screaming matches between the two adults (yes they were adults) either by themselves or with their offspring drove us to distraction. Our deck is on the side where rather unfortunately their social area & living room is, so we would hear absolutely every word that was screamed or yelled across their house….it drifted upon the sound waves to our place and on occasion when we were having a BBQ and entertaining people on the deck. Yes they are extremely loud and took no thought about “Keep it down what will the neighbours think”. They clearly didn’t. Now and then we got so angry we would yell back “Keep it down, or do you mind, or for gods sake enough”. We would in turn get “you keep it down, or no, or shut up”. We gave up, they did not want to hear our pleas for mercy and continued their ranting. In fact even when they are not arguing they are LOUD.   😦

On one occasion we had to call the police in…yes it got that bad.

They also owned a beautiful Labrador (who was very old), who spent his life outside on the concrete. In winter no bedding, in summer barely any water (and yes the RSPCA) was also called. They had a ‘token’ small plastic bowl of water and if any one knows how a Labrador drinks, that can be splashed away in 2 laps. He was not walked the entire time I have been here, he didn’t see the outside world (until I offered to walk him) which I did for some time. As the years went past he grew more feeble and I couldn’t bare it any longer that they were neglecting him & again the RSPCA were called. This time they were advised that he be put to sleep as he could not stand on his arthritic legs anymore. Thankfully (at the age of 17- which is very old for a Lab) that is what happened.

I didn’t borrow a cup of sugar from them, in the beginning we would say hi over the fence or if were putting the bins out at the same time. Now we don’t communicate, I think they know it was I who phoned the authorities and I don’t care one bit. I did what was necessary for their poor ‘pet’ to relieve him of his suffering.

There are 14 houses in my court where I live, I speak to 2 of them now and then, the others I do not know about them, who they are, how they live (we are quite a secluded little bunch).

If you have good neighbours that you can rely on to really ‘mind your house when you are on holidays’, or ‘take your mail in’ and who genuinely are helpful, law abiding and friendly then more power to you…they are difficult to find.

If you have like I do, a couple of neighbours that you can smile or wave to & have a brief catch up chat or borrow steal that cup of sugar more power to me.

I should be happy they aren’t like some neighbours that fossick through your cast offs from your hard rubbish collection….then again that little mission could be tackled under the cover of darkness..

I would like the rolling fields either side…a place where I could keep horses and ride and watch the morning sun rise over the hills, but of course there would have to be a shopping centre close by, because  like the words to Bing Crosby’s song…..

Oh, give me land, lots of land under starry skies
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don’t fence me in
Let me be by myself in the evenin’ breeze
And listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees
Send me off forever but I ask you please
Don’t fence me in

Just turn me loose, let me straddle my old saddle
Underneath the western skies
On my Cayuse, let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountains rise
Ba boo ba ba boo

I want to ride to the ridge where the west commences
And gaze at the moon till I lose my senses
And I can’t look at hobbles and I can’t stand fences
Don’t fence me in
Poppa, don’t you fence me in

& I can’t live in total isolation now can I…

Courtesy rgbstock photos and google

My 90th blog “Taa-Daaaaaa”  🙂 and courtesys.

Internal arguments


I’ve just had a fight with my daughter.

My daughter whom I cherish, my daughter whom I love like my other daughter

I would gladly give my life for either of my daughters.

She  is 25 year old and lives at home.

It escalated where unkind words were spoken from both of us.

I love her…but she is doing things that are disappointing me, making me angry.

She yelled, I yelled…it was highly confrontational… her boyfriend was here ..he overheard and stormed out of the house

She came out and yelled at me and then left the house

I’m in two minds…grow up my young daughter, please see where I am coming from …to

I don’t care if you say you are ‘different’ and by her reasoning  I should accept that.. I’m sorry I just can’t

Why should there be this conflict? I have given her a roof over her head, helped her out monetarily, supported and been there  since the moment I brought her into this world..

If she were in her own house, I wouldn’t know how she lived, alas I am here as she is, from day to day I see and hear and I’m sorry if I can’t accept…

I love her with every breath I take as I do my other daughter…but she has a different way of wanting to live and forgive me but shouldn’t I ask that she respects what my values are whilst she is under my roof?

Am I asking too much?

She yelled that I was the worst human being she has known…. that is hard to bare…that hit me hard and I write crying.. knowing what I have  done for her..what I do for her still..

I know to attack is the easiest way out…but it hurt…and I am hurt..

I’m not feeling that great at the moment and I needed to write…I know her words were said in anger like mine were but it doesn’t help…it wont resolve what was said or how we mend it

It’s not a normal post…I know.. I’m sorry..I’m just angry and hurt and sad right now that we can’t have the relationship I so desperately want with her…

I don’t think I am asking too much…I want us to be closer… I simply cannot get her to understand how I feel about certain things..and clearly she doesn’t understand me…

I close not knowing what tomorrow shall bring…