This one was kindly requested from Lynette d’Arty-Cross she asks Why don’t I like Camping?
To give this true substance I am drawing on the odd 1 or 2 camping expeditions from many…many years ago…
zzzzzzzz No I’m not sleeping
“Great”! Pesty little vampires with wings about to attack me now. I wave my hand madly thinking that will distract them. “Go find someone else to bite”. No, clearly not listening, one lands in my ear and the sound escalates to ZZZZZZZZZZZ!
“Shush” said one of the parentals.
Yes, when we had our camping ‘holidays’ (and I say that term rather loosely) we the 5 of us were in one tent, a big tent mind, but still a TENT.
“Mosquitoes” I reply grumbling & grizzling.
“Well get up quietly and get some spray”.
“It’s cold I’m not getting out of the covers”.
zzzzzzz here they come again, like kamikaze pilots on their mission, now if you can believe the myth that they go for quality blood, then I have bucket loads as I am always the one to look like I’ve been struck down with chicken pox overnight. ZZZZZZZZZZ
“Good grief” head under the covers.
“It’s cold” I continue to grizzle (yes I really am fun to take away camping).
“Rain?” You have to be kidding, it’s raining now.
This tent didn’t have the fancy built in floor liners as they do now, we threw a couple of tarpaulins down as best we could when pitching the tent in the dead of night usually.
“Now the ground will get wet”.
“No it won’t shush and go to sleep”, the other parental.
The night seems longer than a usual night, I’m uncomfortable lying on a blow up mattress that has as much air in as a packet of chips. I toss, I turn, I swat , I’m cold, I wait for the morning.
“Morning!” both parentals and brothers echo.
“Do I really have to walk 1/2 mile to get to the toilet & showers?”
We (I) stagger out to the daylight, eyes squinting, at least the sun is out.
We sit on logs and the parentals organise breakfast, yes bacon and eggs on a campfire (gas burner) tastes so much better in the outdoors.
Shuttlecock time after breakfast – one of the games we played a lot when we were younger. Whack hit, catch, retrieve, whack.
Time moves on….
Camping when I was in my late teens.
Still the vampires, still the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, still the dirty, dusty ground inside and outside the tent.
This time though it’s a campfire for breakfast, it smells good in the open air. There are cups of warm tea and even with sore backs we (I) can manage to smile and laugh and chill. The walk to the toilet & showers didn’t phase me as it did when I was younger and
I put up with enjoy the camaraderie of others.
I’ll camp now – but my version of camping is to stay in a cabin fully equipped – nice beds – toilet – shower – couch – table to eat at – kitchenette – microwave – TV – radio.
NOT because I am spoilt and want the grand luxuries – but because I’m older and I don’t need to have a sore back, I need a toilet within seconds (if you get what I’m saying here). If it’s miserable outside I want to curl up with a good book, or listen to music or watch the idiot box. I want to shower where I don’t have to wear thongs (flip-flops) on my feet for fear of catching tinea. A table to eat at instead of juggling a plate on my knee.
So there you have my “Why I don’t like Camping” tale..I can DO camping just my style 😉