We were weightless butterflies
Held in our mothers arms
We then shed tears at cut knees
And as we grew
With what we felt
Not from scratch or bruises
But from our heart
As the years followed
We, born of wings
Feel the weight of weariness
Knowing how much we’ve changed
Relying on those who love us
To carry the burden of ourselves
If we could end our own suffering
Without guilt or laws set concrete
Not to cast eyes upon those who
Give us life itself
Could we
Would we
protected cocooned
within soft fluid
I held you
dreaming dreams floating
circling in the space
you held your own
to do with as you pleased
attached only by umbilical
gravity unknown
no centre universe
attracting you to earth
content to linger
till your time came
my hand held across my belly
felt you squirm and roll
punch and kick
watching as my skin popped
a visible sign of you
and there you were
through pain and squirming
of my own
bringing you to the world
saying my first hello
cradling you in my arms
kissing every inch of you
I will protect you
I can’t cocoon you
I would give my life to save yours
my sheer wonder
my girl/s
©jmtacken Jan 26th 2014
Daughter # 2 Kayla
Daughter # 1 Beck and her husband Eug
Shared with –
mindlovemisery.wordpress.com Prompt 40
Writing anything on – Sheer Wonder
whilst we waste our
b
r
e
a
t
h
the meal ordered took too long
someone takes their
l
a
s
t
cut down ~ bloodied holes that pierced
the skin or sliced with steel paper thin
he refused to carry weapons
his crime? wrong place ~ wrong time
on a cold and stony road she
lies gasping for her final breath
hit by one who drank ~ who swore he
didn’t see her car, she wore no safety belt
alone in an empty lane ~ forgotten old
feeble, slouched on cold brick walls
his organs failing from abuse
his begging plea no longer heard
he’s old he hears them whisper
~ had a good innings, he hears them say
as he lies on starch white sheets
his maker to carry him away
and someone is breathing their
f
i
r
s
t
on crackly sheets, fluorescent lights
mother breathing ~ child’s head crowned
silent moments, body held, gasp of air
cries of joy, as her baby enters the world
the trip to hospital so far away
traffic bad, anxious, panting, blowing air
can’t wait, it’s now, it’s coming now
the car not quite a manger but ~ matters how?
toiling hard under summer sun
no doctors on this round
she squats and helps deliver
her new son upon the ground
by an empty lane alone she grabs
her tummy, pain is real, she’s scared
she’s young, as water pools around her feet
crouches screaming till her baby breathes
so with every breath you take
try not to use it too complain
for breath AS LIFE ~ A PRECIOUS thing
a commodity we shouldn’t waste
©jmtacken October 3 2013
How brave am I with that Title!
Dislocating my shoulder from patting myself on the back…that’s how much.
No honestly I have read a few blogs (such a blagh word) posts..posts sounds much more dignified, of late and wanted to write the below.
This is Mumsy talking ..honest..straight from the heart …the gut…the soul…
Mums,Moms,mothers..no matter what word you use (now take a deep deep breath in) we are special, we are loving, we are caring, we are nurturing, we are protective, we are consoling, we are advises, we are taxi drivers, we are nurses, we are accountants, we are healers, we are protectors, we are hard task masters, we are insane, we are counsellors, we are time keepers, we are the carers, we are …well just mums.
No one prepares you for mother hood no matter how many books you may read, or what advice is imparted by family, relatives or friends. When I was having my 2nd, I pulled into the driveway to drop off daughter # 1 to be greeted by my mum who said “Hope it’s a boy”… Hmmph well I don’t really care at this point I just want IT OUT!!
You can take in all the advice (especially with your 1st) you absorb and then it’s up to you..plain and simple you are the one having said child.. you are the one that is going to go through unexplainable agony to deliver said child and you are the one to raise said child to the best of your ability.
Prior to having your lovely little one….
Do they tell you that you that in the throes of labour you will hate your other half for getting you into this mess in the first place? No
Do they tell you, even though you may decide on a drug free birth that the pain is so great you may simply relinquish all thoughts of not wanting to possibly inflict any drugs into your baby’s system for taking some? No
Do they tell you that you have to have an enema (why couldn’t I just have had prunes?) and a mini shave? (like OMG what is THAT all about) No
Do they tell you that you have to leave any embarrassment aside that you may feel about having your legs spread wide or in stirrups with bright neon lights shining onto your private bits? No
Do they tell you that you will squat, be on all fours, lay down, toss, turn, sit, pant, breathe heavy,cry? No
Do they tell you, you will feel like you are passing a watermelon and not a small baby? No
Do they tell you when your milk comes in day 3 or 4 that you turn into the devil incarnate? No
Do they tell you that relieving your sore and swollen “boobies” can only be helped by (a) standing under a hot shower (b) putting cabbage leaves across them (such elegance) or expressing? No
Do they tell you if you have had to have an episiotomy that the only cure is a salt bath and a whoopee cushion? No
Do they tell you that yes you may not be able to burp your baby and their lips may turn purple? No
Do they tell you it’s natural for you to run down to the nursery if baby isn’t in the same room with you to check on them every 2 minutes? No
Do they tell you that if your baby doesn’t sleep and you are rocking them, laying them along your arm, feeding them, burping them, laying them on your tummy and you will be so sleep deprived that you feel you want to throw them out the window? No
Do they tell you that they will test your patience, make you cry, make you scream, make you say “Why are you even here?? No
Do they tell you that their first bowel movements may make you gag? No
Do they tell you when you bath them that it is ok and you that you won’t accidentally drown them? No
Do they tell you when you want to cook the dinner that that is the time they will play up and cry and want attention? No
BUT SHOULD THEY TELL YOU
That you will go through the worst pain you have ever experienced in your entire life and be grateful that you did and you won’t remember it.
That you will look upon your newborn child with awe and amazement of how you created this tiny being?
That you will snuggle against your newborns skin and take in their baby smell and realise that is all you have ever wanted or needed in your life.
That you watch them feed and gaze at their sleepy eyes as they close sated with milk.
That you will listen to their first words and think they are the most brilliant child to be born.
That you will watch them take their first steps and be warm,fuzzy and proud inside.
That you will heal their wounds and band aid their cuts when they fall.
That you will treasure the moment they bring home their first piece of art work from kinder and school.
That you will be so excited for them when they have met a friend.
That you will be the shoulder they need to cry on when they have been hurt by someone.
That you will be there to help and guide and protect and nurture them for as long as you live.
That yes there will be testing times and angry times and frustrating times but it’s all part of being a mum.
That you think being a mum for all it’s trials and tribulations is what you have wanted more than anything else in this world.
That the love you feel for them is insurmountable.
That you would lay your life down for them.
Yes that is what is being a mother is all about…here for the long haul through thick and through thin, to encourage, to help, to guide, to mentor, to love.. and truly…I am so happy to be a mum..happy to have these (now adult girls) who will always be ‘my babies’. Proud of their accomplishments and yes can acknowledge their failures or have doubts about how they live their lives. BUT still… seeing a part of me in them for better or worse and being individuals and simply just them being them makes me proud.
Yes they may take a wrong turn, make decisions you aren’t happy with but it’s all part of growing up and they are learning as you continually do.
Embrace your role …I have…I will continue to do so…sometimes it’s difficult, sometimes you want to pull your hair out, sometimes you scream and rant and rave at things they have done…but they are your creation. They are part of you and for me, my 2 daughters are … well…. two human beings that I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever want not be in my life.
I am in awe of them..now and always.
Ramblings From A Mum 