Last photos of Queensland and general rambling and updates

I could possibly bore everyone for a few nights with photographs, but I thought I don't have that right (insert Aussie humour here). So this is the last I shall put up. Captions explain where we are or what it is. Spring is just around the very large corner, we are still in the thick of cold fronts, low temperatures, storms, wind, rain here in Melbourne. Anyone contemplating coming over here please be aware of our 'nice climate' which usually runs from mid September, heating up in December through to some times March. So there is a wide scope of months to choose your visit to the Land Down Under, though in Melbourne we have had severe storms icy winds and hail at Christmas time (but that's rare thankfully).

Which reminds me if anyone has any questions about where I live or anything they would like to know about Melbourne - please do ask, I will be your virtual Travel operator.

Ah yes the holiday has finished and I have my work cut out for me doing the assignments (I want to thank everyone who read and commented and liked that post). Your words have given me that extra boost and encouragement that I needed to continue.

Oh whilst I am here, thought I'd give an update on my Penguins (mum and dad) as I haven't for a while. Mum bless her, is getting crankier by the day. They have a huge lemon tree in their backyard that is full of lemons. Now mum uses lemons umm probably 1-2 a week. Their elderly neighbour who does so much for them now that dad isn't driving came round this morning and took a bag of them (he did ask). By the time I arrived mum was quite indignant that he took some of lemons and had to trot (well waddle) outside to see how many were left on the tree.
What can I say.. it seems the smallest of things now irritate her, especially that she is so confined to the house. I can't blame her I would go stir crazy myself.

Pop stopped taking his medication the last month for his shaky hands (because the script ran out)but I have noticed as has neighbour friend that he seems to be walking better. He can lift his legs and doesn't seem to 'totter' as much. Turning around is still difficult for him however, but he made comment today that they don't feel as heavy. Were the tablets that helped his hands, causing his legs to become weak? That's my theory, so I have told him to not take them for a while.

I have ranted on again and I am tired, amazing how tired one does get when one doesn't do anything all day. No that's a lie I made my Penguins a hot lunch and some home cooked vegetable soup for their dinner, so the day wasn't completed wasted.

Thank you again for all your support guys, it really means a great deal to me.

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View from our balcony on the pool in Cairns

Mr. S and I on the train to Karunda. Do we like the guy in the green shirt yawning? Manners anyone?

Cruising on the Daintree River.

At Mossman Gorge

Just another lazy beach

Dinner at the Raw Prawn (prawns, barramundi fish, octopus and mud crabs) oh and salad.

Another sunrise in Cairns

Thoughts, doubts and a little anxiety

We have been home 1 day, I think I have already settled into a routine of sorts, not that I really had one.

I am feeling quite anxious though, in fact I realised it the moment we started our holiday.

Tightness around the chest mainly and feelings of “hell can I do this – I mean really”. No, I’m not talking about the holiday, that part was easy.  As you may or may not know I completed the 2 day Celebrant’s course and have the piece of paper saying that I completed the training and I can perform a funeral ceremony. Though I still have assignments, mainly answering and typing numerous questions to finish, plus having to make 2 DVD’s one with an audience of friends (as I doubt I can pull in anyone off the street for this). One without – don’t ask why I have no idea.

These though painful to do, I shall attempt, if only to gain self confidence in my ability and speaking. My anxiety is purely built around the ‘can I factor’.

There are no second chances when you say you are a Civil Celebrant and get that first call. From the moment you knock on the door of the grieving family to conduct the interview, to having the ability to handle relatives or friends that may stand up to speak, when the immediate family have said no. There will be the moment that I first walk into where the service is being held, not knowing how I will go, will I perform the ceremony with grace and professionalism that a grieving family can and should expect?

I know as with any ‘position’ that we take on in life — the first day is always the worst. Nerves will set in, but unlike sitting behind an office desk and fumbling my way through the day, this I cannot fumble with. I can’t allow nerves to take control, though I m sure my knees will be knocking behind the lectern.

I took on this career change initially, because I felt I was capable, but nerves can be terribly debilitating and even before I have finished the assignments or produced the DVD’s, my knees are knocking at the mere thought of performing something so desperately important as a service for a departed loved one.

Throughout the holiday, when I went to bed I would be rehearsing eulogies in my head.  This may sound strange to everyone, but I could not cease . I talked to Mr. S about it on the 3rd day and he tried to put my mind at ease. It worked for a short while, but the sleeplessness returned and I found myself exhaling deeply to try and get a grip on my anxiety.

I keep running scenarios through my head during the day – a eulogy for a child, for a suicide victim, for a still born baby, a long illness, a murder, an accident. There are so many that will require careful thought process in order to write a service that is fitting.  Perhaps I am jumping the gun a little and letting myself (as us humans do) get worked up prior to even trying.   There are also rituals that can be performed, the lighting of candles, releasing of doves or balloons. Allowing someone to play a musical instrument, placing items of farewell into the casket. Time restraints are also to be considered, a half hour service or longer depending on the amount of those who wish to speak. Knowing when the music or photo tribute is to begin, when to call the speakers up, at what suitable interval.  Not to rush when speaking (as this is what we have a tendency to do when we are nervous). To pause at the right intervals, to allow reflection.

I am not writing this for everyone that follows me to say – I will be fine – honestly I’m not, I’m writing to convince myself more than anything, that I shall be okay, that this is something I can do and by putting my thoughts on paper here, it helps me a little.

Below is a picture I took from our Hotel room in Cairns, I purposely woke at 6.30 to catch the sunrise over the mountain. After this photo I have written an introduction to a service that has been swirling around my head.

If this is something you cannot read I understand, hence putting it after the photo.

The circle of life – we are conceived, we live and we die.

How many of us here today, have thought of what our reactions would be when we are faced with losing someone whom we love and cherish? To encounter a loss of a loved one is devastating and painful and how are we ‘supposed’ to manage, how brave can we be, how do we come to terms with it?

Each one of you will react differently and there is no right or wrong on how you grieve or for how long.

The question of why will be asked, why did he/she have to leave me, my life.

I wish there were answers for you, but there are none.

… played an important role in all your lives and this is proven by each and every one of you being here today, to remember, honour and celebrate his/her life.

Today you will need tissues, you may need the person next to you, a friend a relative or perhaps even a complete stranger to give you comfort, or you them. You will shed tears and do not be afraid to do so. For this is grieving and grief is not rational.  It can be overwhelming, sharp and lingering or it can make you feel numb.

As we look upon the life of … let us share stories and the shedding of tears and by gradually releasing the burden of grief through these memories of happy times and yes sad times, each and every one of you will hopefully draw further strength and solace from one another through this most difficult and painful time.

In the words of Rumi a Sufi poet – the soul flies out from the body at the time of death and lays the body aside like an old piece of clothing.

Dying is akin to a ship that sails and fades off into the horizon, we no longer see them from where we stand with the limit of our sight, but just as they fade from our view, someone will see them from their horizon and we know that their presence is nearer than we could ever imagine.

Be compassionate and understanding with those around you but in particular yourself. The pain of not having … in your life, will in time change and there are no time limits set.

We are grateful for the time we had with … rest often in this stillness and quiet strength as we say goodbye and wish … well on their journey.

Copyright
JMTacken
13.8.2013

Holiday Pics Daintree,Mossman Gorge,Cairns,Port Douglas,Green Island..etc etc

Seriously though I am tired, possibly one would say ‘over-tired’ as it’s now 1:10am erm Tuesday morning.

We arrived back in Melbourne at 4.30 ish. I have been awake since 6:30am.  We arrived in Melbourne, me in a skirt and t-shirt (had to show that I had a tan and that yes I’d been up North) to all the people that I did not know at the Airport… but luckily I had the foresight to pack the jeans (and bogan uggs) as Melbourne’s weather hadn’t changed…still winter, still bleak and miserable. Mr. S is snoring peacefully.

BUT fear not I am now able to share some of my holiday snaps (just a few as there are many) I shall post some more tomorrow ..lucky you!   Oh, you may have to double click to enlarge as they came out rather small.

This was the view from our balcony.. say awwww

These were the cows(Brahman)that came down to drink along the Daintree river..Mr. Crocodile was around the bend

If you look real close… the brown thing in the water (to the right) is Mr. Crocodile

This is me holding up a very large rock in Mossman Gorge..yes I’m strong

Mossman Gorge yet again..think I’ll get this one blown up

A Bush Turkey I secretly followed.. he didn’t know

Where we stayed – yes it’s lovely

One of the butterflies in the sanctuary we visited

oops and another

in the markets at Kuranda.. Aussie sense of humour

through the glass bottomed boat out from Green Island

and again

how the rich and famous live in Cairns ( Mr. S and I put a deposit down for the boat) the helicopter is extra

Day 1 moi standing on a coconut…that’s what you do with them isn’t it? This was an early morning walk hence the outfit.

Mr. S with his gourmet lunch of egg and bacon sandwich at Daintree Village (doesn’t he looked thrilled at having another photo taken)

huggin’ a tree at Mossman Gorge..it’s what you do (and no I don’t normally hug trees)

rainforest looking up in the Daintree forest

Okay yippeda yippeda that’s all folks…till later

xx

from warmth to cold..holiday ends

blah grey..maybe if I shut my eyes
squint my face, turn three circles
anti-clockwise
the sun will shine again
..nope that didn’t work

blah rain…maybe if close one eye
twist my mouth to the right side
tilt my head towards the ceiling light
the sun will….
nope no joy there

blah undomestic bliss returns
…maybe if I grab the doona
shuffle my whole self underneath
it will disappear…
nope you guessed it
that didn’t work either

blah…the time when you
come home, unpack
put a load of washing
on, hang it up on horses (not real ones)
that would just be stupid

watch telly, look at each other, both
say “can we go back?” we know
we can’t, switch the station
YAY …. cricket…no not YAY at all
and daughter’s on my MAC
right where’s my IPad

The let down, the exhilaration of being away, having a holiday, viewing the world in a different light…only to return to the same furniture, the dishes not put away (thanks daughter #2) and the ..well the same ol shite. Ho hum holidays so good in one respect, so nasty in another. We left at 27deg C we returned to 100km winds, rain and Eskimo temperatures.
What more can I say (and yes the poor dog next door which belongs to the couples daughter and they have been minding him all winter) is outside on concrete and cries….that is stressing me more than being back.

Day before we leave

This isn’t poetical..it’s a free write that I wrote into my phone as Mr. S and I sat on the foreshore overlooking the beach. It’s..well simply me..being ‘Mums’ and writing what I felt and saw.

Mountains in the distance..
but not that far away, tree tops
that are broccoli fully grown and
depending on the angle of the sun and
shadows cast, something in-between

the foreground of the sand trees
a brighter green, shrunken against
the back drop of the hills
yachts whose sails are brilliant white
flutter against the sun, into
the breeze

flat is the ocean, a dinner plate
not yet filled, until the crest of
white disturbs it’s calm, the dish
now starts to fill, sitting on the
foreshore with late sun
observing teenage love holding hands
and impressing

remembering the openness
of kissing, casting inhibition aside
the cloud that stops the sun
not darkening thoughts of love, as on the path
people walk dogs, ride bikes or jog
and palm tree fingers flicker
in the summer air

thinking who I love in this world
how privileged I am to feel this way
to witness what I do, knowing tomorrow
the plane will take me home
the cold will hit my skin
I write as the sun heralds its goodbye

a tear surfaces in my eye, a knot forms it’s
way into my stomach, I breathe deep, stay
centred..knowing…our lives are here
and now, how beautiful our surrounds are
if we only stop and open our eyes… to think
each day a holiday and not just for now

550th Post – This will excite you beyond your wildest dreams!!!

No… no it won’t,  I’m fibbing.

However it is exciting Mr. S and I as we shall be here as of tomorrow afternoon –

http://www.paradiselinks.com.au/

Then after 4 days we shall be here

http://www.mercure-harbourside.com.au/explore-cairns-hotel.html   can’t grab a photo unfortunately.

I need warmth, I long for warmth – I have to have warmth – here it shall be warm.

I shall be taking my IPad so my writing won’t be as manic as it has been of late, but I shall still post now and then ..as I need to use my new toy. As I relax poolside while Mr. S is playing Golf, sipping a cocktail or three, I promise to think of you…no I will…honest..

So you see – it’s a win win all round,  I get the warmth and a holiday and you also get a holiday from me not cramming your inbox up for 7 days!!  Whoot Whoot for that!

I shall try and read what I can before I close my eyes tonight – but now I’m off too pack (summer clothes) as we leave at 6am …and I’m just a wee bit excited about the whole damn thing.

Take Care all, keep writing.

Love to you all

xx

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LIPTEMBER WOMEN’S MENTAL HEALTH CAMPAIGN – AUSTRALIA

K – daughter #2 is still on top of the leader board. I wish to thank those who have already donated to this worthy cause.

Please forgive me, but I shall post the links on each posts for those that would still like to contribute.  https://www.liptember.com.au/kayla.tacken

If your sponsors donate directly to the charity from overseas please use the details above , they can make a direct donation via bank deposit and notify us by email info@liptember.com.au so we can issue them a receipt. We would then credit these donations to your profile.

Liptember Foundation

Commonwealth Bank of Australia

BSB: 062 000

Acc no: 1390 1111

Give me a shout out if you have supported her so she can write a few words to you. 🙂