cleanser | Ramblings From A Mum

So this is for the men folk… for all you SNAGS out there (are you still called SNAGS?) You know – Sensitive New Age Guys…oh no
wait you are now Metrosexuals aren’t you? Ah yes has the Macho Neanderthal beer swilling man that us women grew to know and love have now possibly faded into oblivion, to be replaced with one who spends longer in front of the bathroom mirror than what we do.

How many of you men are into facial creams? You know the ones that Mc.Dreamy (Greys Anatomy) Patrick Dempsey advertises (ok I need a moment)

In fact I can’t for the life of me remember WHAT he advertises as I’m too busy drooling. Where was I? Oh yes, nowadays as the world progresses (sometimes for the better) you menfolk have much more variety to slap on your faces than the standard 4711 or Brut (hands up who remembers them) but I’m not taking aftershave. I am talking Male Rejuvenating Products.

In fact this should be your regime : facials, moisturizer (morning), moisturizer (evening), face wash (morning), face wash (evening), serum, toner, eye cream, exfoliating scrub, mask. ‘Ha’ I hear you laugh, I’m a bloke (Aussie for male) “I don’t need any of that stuff, give me a bar of Imperial Leather and I’ll do just nicely thank you”.

I wish I didn’t put the pic of Patrick up there, I keep scrolling back up.

Seriously though do you use any of the new products on the market? Are you roped in by advertisements and promises of a new and younger looking you? Or are you embarrassed about using facial products? Do you think in fact they would make a difference? I wish I had the answer. I don’t see the harm in slathering a bit of moisturiser on you skin. I mean you shave – you have bristles, you have skin that is constantly being subjected to shaving cream, brushes, razors, the harsh environment. Your skin does dry out, so I say (if you aren’t already) give it a try. As far as eye creams that firm..hmmm tipping they won’t do much (but don’t let me stop you from trying) also an exfoliating brush to remove dead skin cells (yes sounds revolting, but you have them as much as we do).

I just wonder what Charlie boy who once said “I look like a quarry someone has dynamited”..would have ever muttered the words “Give me some of that exfoliating scrub”.

or would this one have drawled “Come on punk make my day and hand me over the serum”.

or…yes I had to do it…this one saying “I’ll be back – for my moisturiser”.

So there you have it menfolk, the choice is yours. No longer will you have to hide dried out faces, or droopy eye skin or heaven forbid dead skin cells for there are miracles out there in a bottle (or squeezy pack) just waiting for you to spend your mega bucks on. I am sure you are relieved to know that now you not only have ‘product’ for your hair but you can ‘zhush’ your face as well.

Let’s face it us women go through childbirth, we slap all sorts of goo on us to try and make us look young again, we shave, we pluck, we laser, we colour our hair, I’m sure if you try really hard you can force your self into that Department Store for a lotion or potion that may in fact make your skin feel as soft as a babies bottom (without losing any of your masculinity).

So what say you my gentlemen readers…are you a slather kinda guy?

and that was my 450th post – thank you linesmen thank you ball-boys

Arriving home with a newborn baby presents a steep learning curve. No matter how strong your maternal instincts may be or how many books you’ve read or how much advice you’ve received, everything has to be tried for the first time. There is the first feed and the first bedtime and the first waking-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night. I remember the first bath and the apprehension I felt about whether I would be able to perform this ‘tricky procedure’ as well as all the nurses had shown me in the hospital. I prayed that I wouldn’t accidentally drown my baby or get skin cleanser or shampoo in her eyes and make her cry. Now in my own home, alone, I had to have everything so well organised and at my finger tips. The amount of paraphernalia one needed (according to the books) just to get a baby clean! You pretty soon learn to adopt your own method without the need for all of what you had previously learnt in the Hospital or read about.

You will experience sleep deprivation, you will have cranky days and exasperating ones. You will even sometimes wish (usually at 3am in the morning) when you are dragging your weary body carrying your darling trying to rock her to sleep that you had never become pregnant in the first place. You may as I did go through dislocated hips and double reverse nappies or harnesses. You will suffer with them as you watch their tiny bodies wracking in pain with coughs, sore throats or colic. You may experience almost physical pain when you cradle their tiny bodies in your arms as you take them for their first inoculation. You will not have much peace at meal times (for some unknown reason that is the time that they usually choose to ‘act up’). You will think your brain has turned to mush as tiredness consumes your body and rational and logical thinking is taken away from you.

But you will get through the exhaustion and the not so pleasing memories and you will experience insurmountable joy watching these tiny creatures that you created begin to crawl, wobble, stand, walk and become unique individuals.

Yes becoming a mother is the most satisfying, rewarding ‘job role’ us as women can undertake. So embrace it, enjoy every miniscule moment from the day you find out you have a child inside you, because as we are told, but never really understand, they grow up all too quickly.

**My Memoir The Empty Nest A Mother’s Hidden Grief is now available on Amazon and Lulu (J M Kadane)**