Funerals

Today I attended a Funeral.

This post will be respectful for the departed.

The Service was for a girlfriend’s mother of mine. This girlfriend and I knew each other when we were little. Our parents knew each other very well. Her mother was German, her father who passed away some years back was Czech. The daughter ‘L’ was an only child.

I picked up my ‘little penguins’ ( Mum & Dad) and we drove to the Service. The clouds had formed, the rain had started and we walked into the front room to see some of their friends and ‘L’s two children, whom I hadn’t seen for possibly 20 years.

‘L’ and her husband ‘C’ were greeting everyone. I hadn’t seen ‘L’ for 8 or so years…we just lost touch as in life we sometimes do.

As we saw each other and walked towards each other …there were no words, her face showed her feelings, her teary and bloodshot eyes were enough…

We hugged and she cried saying “Can’t help it…it still…”

“I know darling, I know” I told her and we hugged tight.

Then it was time for the Service and we took our seats, mum and pop sat next to me.

‘L’s mum was lain in the coffin in front of the room, adorned with beautiful pink roses and a photo of when she was younger.

The Ceremony began and on the large screen in front of us ‘L’s mum and a picture of her were displayed.

A favourite song was played by Marlene Dietrich. I didn’t understand the words as she sung in German, but it was tearful.

Her children then stood up and tried so valiantly to give their Eulogies. The daughter was unable to through grief. Her brother took over and though struggled talked about his ‘Babicka’ or Babi. Czech for Grandmother.

‘L’ couldn’t say words…stand up and tell how she felt about her mother..we all understood… I felt for her…how can anyone in grief talk about their lost loved one..

The Service was conducted by a beautiful woman who read eloquently, elegantly & with feeling..giving this person whom she never knew the respect that she deserved.

Photos of ‘L’s mum then came on the big screen with music playing in the background.

We  were asked to stand for those that were able & recite the Lords Prayer & as we stood & watched & remembered this fine lady with the music of a lilted piano my tears flowed…

Photos of her as a child, photos of her husband, photos of her and ‘L’ and with her granchildren..

The sun then shone…

The Service ended and my ‘little penguins’ were standing to the side of me. I turned and tears were flowing from my Pop & Mum.

“She was a good friend , we knew her for a long time”, my Pop said struggling..

That made me cry even more, I hugged him tight…and wept

Her coffin was wheeled away….

My tears were also for ‘my penguins’… life’s circle is a known it’s when the circle finally joins up is the unknown…..

We went into the front room for a cup of tea and to all take a deep breath… I sat next to a woman I didn’t know who was 99 years young.

She said “You know Funerals have changed so much since I was younger, in those days the Service was at home, the deceased lay in the coffin in the Parlour and after words were said it would just be taken away for the burial..I remember my father had that”.

It took all my strength not to cry again, this elderly woman who has seen so much in her life time,  remembering her father that way..

‘L’s mum is in the Arms of the Angels now…to rest with her husband…

R.I.P Lotte

Heart Melt

Yesterday after posting my Blogs, I thought should I pretty up my Blog Site? Maybe a touch of colour here and there, but I didn’t start doing this to have photos of me adorning the pages (god perish the thought) and do I have any other photos that would be of interest to any one else apart from myself, my friends or family. The answer would be probably not. I started this because I enjoy writing, it’s the words I want to share not much else.

Thoughts out loud: – This morning I bought some DVD’s for my parents my father Joe who just turned 85 who is Czech and my mum 83 years young who was born in England. One of the DVD’s was songs from Vera Lynn and Gracie Fields, all those warm fuzzy songs that got them through the war period and kept there spirits high. For any one who knows any of these songs one “The White Cliffs of Dover” brings a tear to many an eye (similar to Danny Boy). Mum was a trained singer in her youth and bless her can still hold a tune. I watched the DVD with them whilst both of them sung along to the tunes.  Mums voice went croaky (as I had my back to them) I turned around to see that she was crying, then I looked at dad and he was also. “It just brings back so many memories” they both said. I gave them both a hug. I didn’t buy it to make them cry, but I guess their emotions were predictable.

Then the Andrew Sisters came on singing their famous ‘Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy’, dad stood up rather wobbly (as he is now) and asked mum to dance. Mum had a bad fall last year and also being 83 has lost her confidence and her ability to do many things now. However up she got and held dads hand although as unsteady on her feet as he was and he swayed back and forth a little with her. Oh for my video recorder at that time, a sweet and special moment that tugged at my heart. I can imagine what went through their minds as they held hands, times gone by, the dance halls they went to not long after meeting perhaps. After so many years of being together they still have each other and the memories..oh so many memories..

**My Memoir The Empty Nest A Mother’s Hidden Grief is now available on Amazon and Lulu.(J M Kadane)**