Mint sauce with that?

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Photo Source:   http://www.behance.net/gallery/INCURIOUS/4651103

Their laughter mingled with the clink of wine glasses in the
drawing room.
“That was a spritely one that got away this afternoon”, he roared.
“Oh yes, rather, afraid the old girl can’t muster like she use to, sadly”, came the reply.
“Do you know I went down to Jones’s farm prior to the round up?”
“Really what on earth for my good man”?
“I am thinking of purchasing his cattle dog, damn find specimen if you ask me, clever too, agile”.
“Oh yes, I have heard of him, but haven’t seen him in action, so did you offer for him?”
“Yes ol’ chappy, I did as a matter of fact four hundred pounds, I have him in the yards as we speak”.
“Four hundred pounds, good god man, I hope he proves himself worthy for that amount!”
“Yes, he has already, if only I could teach him how to cook”.

Okay I was so lost with this one – see if you can write and join in the fun (or tear your hair out as I did)

For the wonderful       VisDare 34: Fearless

Morning Blight

oh child please
stop crying
coffee spilt
toast burnt
can’t you wear
odd socks to school?
have you looked
under your bed?
YES
I know they are your
favourite
but you have a few to choose
I plead… how about a different kind?
you shake your head you pout
I sigh…
yes stop your sniffling sweety
mummy will try to find
there really are OTHERS
that we can find to
wear
I give mutterings
through clenched
teeth
crap
this day’s not over
yet

crying dog
PLEASE stop whining
I’ll get your
breakfast soon
don’t give me guilts
with puppy dog eyes
as I race
from room to room
for a SOCK!!
where can it be?
what about these?
no darling YOU’RE
right of course
there NOT the same
oh give me strength
I tell myself
am I the one
to blame

DAMN murmurs from
the other half
echo from the room
what’s YOUR
problem hun I ask?
trying hard not too
sound
curt
sorry what
geez stop your grizzling
NO I didn’t iron
any shirts
but are you
REALLY
that incompetent
YOU can’t iron them
yourself?
I’m on a mission
here can you lend
a hand
no sorry what YOU’RE
running late…no time
…as IF I do
can I chuck a temper
tanti and yell and
scream at YOU!

heaven help me
I hear footsteps
of teenage daughter
thumping down
the stairs
slamming door to room
you’re so not wearing
THAT in public
sweet product of my womb
fingers clenched
I whisper …
don’t mess with me today
I’M not letting you
wear that dress
with half your rear
end on display

husband DEAR
the dog’s in need of
feeding
the child
is screaming for
her SOCK
your daughter… well
see what she wears
can YOU see what
she looks like
oh…you haven’t time
to reprimand
then guess it’s ME
who’ll have the
fight

morning juggle
hormone inflamed
teenage girl
un-ironed shirt a
missing sock
and the starving
whimpering dog
rush and pandemonium
I run
frantically to
please
the day has sadly just begun

…this is MY catastrophe

In light of the ‘real’ catastrophes around the world, I thought I would try and lighten it a little with my definition.

FOR  THE PUB   http://dversepoets.com

Tweety not so Sweety

2013-03-26 14.02.06

This is what happened on Thursday…or was it Wednesday? Being at home now, one day just rolls into another.

I am sounding like my elderly parents bless em so I shall move on.

What you see here my dear readers is a bird perched up on a window on our kitchen cathedral ceiling. I don’t know why they are called cathedral ceilings perhaps because it’s the height of a cathedral or near enough…this window to give you an idea is about 17 feet up the wall.

The other day I left the house for a short while, as I was minding two dogs (both bird lovers by the way) I left the door open to the decking, so they could come and go as they pleased. Yes I’m considerate when it comes to dogs.

When I returned there was said Mr/Mrs Fluffy wings perched up high with several trails of droppings cascading down the wall (look closely at the pic).

The kitchen table sits underneath (of course it does, it’s not hanging off the fall ffs).  I grabbed a chair and stood that on top of the table and then stood on the chair…I was trying to get high (not that sort of high folks settle) trusty broom in hand (no I wasn’t going to hurt Tweety-Pie). I started hoopin and a hollerin and waving the broom around like a woman possessed.

Tweety fluttered from one window pane to the next…pooping as he/she went. Nothing worked, no amount of screaming and yes I even started crying I was so mad. I got down and grabbed an almost finished plastic bag of bread and tied a knot in it and started throwing it at Tweety (please don’t call the RSPCA) I wasn’t trying to knock it off it’s perch (no I was) but without harming it. I am an animal lover, but the poop was getting to me.,

Finally after much screaming and tears and waving of arms she/he flew to the ground and sat like a stunned mullet (yes I know that is a fish).
Then ‘it’ flew onto a clothes horse (full of clean towels). I was shoo -shoo shoo-ing it with all my might, before it calmly hopped behind the TV cabinet. Grrrrrr.
Then ‘it’ flew gently into the window, then on the floor, then back onto another window, before me wielding broom screaming “SHOO you bloody bird”, it flew out the door and settled under the outdoor table.

‘It’ (as I’m not into sexing birds)  sat for over an hour (in shock I am gathering) or perhaps thinking  “This woman is a bloody lunatic, last time I hop in her place for a drink from the dog bowl”!  Where were the dogs you ask? Playing merrily in the background not giving a toss about my predicament.

The moral of this story? Yes folks there is one. Tweety must have gone through an ordeal, shocked at what was happening, why she couldn’t stay in her comfy place on the window ledge.

Wings flapping and not knowing where to go she fluttered from one spot to the next , even hitting herself in the process.

Only to find her way and rest for a while before she used her wings and found her freedom once again.

I will let you the reader figure that one out.

Hump Day Humour

Courtesy jokes.com

Q. How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

A. By becoming a ventriloquist!

Q. Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife’s yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in?

A. The dog, once he’s in, he shuts up!

Classics – Courtesy   http://web.maths.unsw.edu.au/~jim/selfref.html

I’m the humblest person I know.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

The workshop on procrastination has been cancelled, as no-one got around to enrolling.

Anyone who visits a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

We never make misteaks.

87.5% of all statistics are made up.

Here, take this placebo.

The technical term for “being unable to remember the word you want” is, uh …

There are three types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can’t.

The two rules for success are:

1. Never tell them everything you know.

There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary and those who don’t.

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

There should be a rule that we don’t talk about politics.

 

Is it criminal to do 2 posts in one night?

Bah Humbug!!!  Where’s your Christmas Spirit?

No honestly I am in more of a writing mood than I was yesterday.. if that is humanely possibly.

PLEASE  I implore you all (though I write because of the reasons I have previously stated) it does not mean in any way shape or form that you have to respond to everything I put on here , so please remember that. I won’t be offended if you don’t. I realise it’s time consuming. It has taken me just on 2 hours to answer my comments that have been kindly left and write the TGIF post and I haven’t gone into all the folks I follow and see what they have done since yesterday yet.

Craziness, madness??…Yes I spend all day staring at a computer screen and then I spend up to 6 hours when I get home doing the same thing.

The difference is I LOVE THIS.

I’m not a bored lonely old woman sitting in front of her computer with nothing better to do (in fact I probably could be putting a load of washing on). It was 38 deg C today, it’s hot here in OZ and the Evap Cooler is chugging away working over time trying to cope and Mr. S god love ‘im, is reading his Kindle upstairs. (When I say upstairs I mean up the 3 steps from the family room to the lounge room). He did come down and say “Still going” I replied with a “Yup” he returned laughing with “What a pity you can’t make money from it”.

Tis not for the money I assured  him it’s because I love it so and he nodded, smiled and said “I know you do”.

I love Mr S for his patience and his tolerance towards my addiction.

This post is pretty much about nought, but still I must write…maybe I should get stuck into that Novel I started months ago..but I do not have the urge, I have the urge to do this. It is weird and possibly unproductive, but I do it none the less.

Brain going sideways – I  mind dogs part time, it pays very little ($13 a day) but I do it because.

  • I haven’t got my Tarsha with me any longer.
  • I LOVE dogs.
  • I love seeing their different personalities and their uniqueness.
  • I feed them, medicate them, put on ointment, walk them, play with them, make sure they are comfy away from their mum and dad.
  • Sometimes it’s for 2 days, sometimes it’s for a month.
  • I don’t want to go through the pain of losing another fur baby, this way I get to have a dog in my life for as much or as little time as their owners are away.

Tonight we have Peta a Staffy X Terrier. Her owner rescued her from the RSPCA when she was 6 months old. She is 2 1/2 now. She has already assumed the protector role and barks at people walking past the house. She comes into the study, checks me out then waddles back out again.

I have minded dogs for quite some years now with this company (not my day job) and have looked after over 70 dogs from Chihuahuas to Malamutes 2 at one time..(who hogged the couch) apart from um err 2 (one Great Dane who chewed 3 entire windows of my new Cedar venetian wooden blinds & 1 male Husky who was such a princess..that I had to stand by HIS bowl hand feeding a BBQ chicken to him and if I wasn’t crouching eye level he barred teeth) I have loved every one of them.http://irishkatie.wordpress.com  would be so proud 🙂

Brain returning…maybe I write because I feel so connected with those that follow me and also those that don’t. I am in a circle of friends that I have not set eyes upon and yet I want to give a group hug to…. ahh me getting melancholy so I shall stop now.

Brain returning sideways – I sold another book on LULU …no I did not write this post to plug my Memoir, no my intention was not to hook you in to brag. I am happy is all and wanted to share my happiness, coz I’m kinda chuffed.

Stay tuned readers…stay tuned

Courtesy of Google & glitterfy.com

Look out world I’ve leant how to use the Scanner! If only the photos would stay on the post & I could get the alignment right!!!

Ok so this is going to cause trouble because now that I have finally learnt (yes tech savvy I’m not) to operate my printer/fax/scanner thingy-ma-bob I probably have 2000 photos to share….oi!! stop running away and sit back down, I’m kidding…possibly…

Wedding Day Mum and Dad 1951-Melbourne

 

So even though I am wildly excited as I know you will be to show my thousands of photos… what ? I hear you’re not???? Hmmm maybe I should title the blogs “Another Photo” that way when you see it come up you can grab a glass of wine, read another blog, go do the dishes, walk the dog or switch the computer off… and I may even share some rather hideous photos of yours truly if you ask me nicely. 🙂 but of course you won’t see them if you switch your computer off now will you… ok enough rambling… BELOW LEFT IS MUM  & ON THE RIGHT IS DAD…’cos mum is wearing the dress…