Can’t you see me (Prose)

what was your journey
did you pirouette ‘cross mirrors
glass unyielding
drift on gondolas
floating rivers of satin

~~~

or was your world defined
by fear
each breath inhaled
hope disintegrated
the days you woke
a burden upon
normality

~~~

you reached
but no one grabbed
you cried
but tears weren’t heard
a journey leading no where
in silence
held yourself in you
as no one understood

~~~

your fragility hidden
you held no signs
lost my way, I am weak
can’t you help
can’t you tell
the battle fought

~~~

did your self esteem
waft in vapours
from the coffee cup you held
early morning air suffocating
the days that you felt strong
trying to fit, the jigsaw puzzle in
your mind

~~~

let me help you pirouette
once more in life
dance across this stage of so called
imperfection
for it is all around us
it is not you

©jmtacken 23rd Feb 2014  – Fiction

Photo Credit:Falln-Stock    Shared with Mind Love Misery’s Prompt Prompt 44 Immobilizing Paronoia

A Review of my memoir The Empty Nest – A Mother’s Hidden Grief

I have just met Michael on WP and he very kindly bought my Memoir and may I say read it within a day or two. He has been absolutely gracious by submitting a review on Amazon which I post below.

Those who know me, also know that I do not push my book onto you, this is not why I started this site, for I feel uneasy about self promoting. I post this because I am humbled knowing that people have read my work, read the words that I had written, this is an absolute joy for me, whether they like what I have written or not, I have pride that I can call myself a writer, something I have dreamed about for so long.

My penned words about what I experienced when my girls left home, have now been read by 72 people – this may seem small – to me it is huge. Large profits – I make not – knowing that people can resonate with what I have written – that is worth so much more.

To Michael I thank you, from the bottom of my heart for this review.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Review

The Empty Nest

A Mother’s Hidden Grief

J M Kadane

Jenny Kadane’s book chronicling her life bringing up two daughters is an excellent account of her life exploring the journey she makes with them from birth to the present time. She takes us through the good and the bad moments of parenting with great honesty and clarity.

Her writing is straightforward, accessible and at times you find your self laughing at the funny things she recalls but there are other times where you find yourself expressing your own emotional response to the stories many of which, as a parent, you relate to.

There are features within this text that give it a universal appeal.

As parents we all have to deal with the day our children decide it is time for them to leave home.

We often agonise over them leaving, fearful of what they will have to deal with in the big wide world and always we want to be protective of them.

No parent ever wants to see their child suffering and we go to great lengths to provide support and back ups for the times when they do break free and leave the nest.

All of these issues are dealt with in great detail and the reader is able to easily empathise with the writing and sentiments being expressed.

There are times in this text where Ms Kadane comes across as a highly emotional woman. (In fact she does make the point at various times in her work that she was aware of her emotional outpourings.)

Rather than being a text, which could have descended into a study of emotional angst, she is clever in reflecting constantly on her own emotions, and on the significance of the events that occur in her life.

Ms Kadane’s daughters, like most children grow and become their own persons.  As a parent we know our children do not grow up to necessarily reflect our attitudes nor do they always do what you would wish for them to do.

The factor for me, which made me connect so readily with her words, was the attitude that she was always there for her girls. It is easy to say these things but as a parent when your children transgress from what you consider the norms of society and test your patience and fortitude ‘hanging in there with them’ can take great courage.

‘The Empty Nest” is a record of the love of a mother, the fierce determination to be the best mother she can be along with her own reflections and understandings of how each development in her daughters lives impacted on her.

As a male reader I was immediately taken by the depth of her writing. I could relate so well to the emotions she was experiencing.

Fathers also feel a sense of grief when their children leave. We like to have our children ‘within’ arms length’ so to speak. Like Ms Kadane we also crave a regular contact with our children.

You finish the text thinking what a brave woman she is to have sat and reflected as she has done on her life. She owns all the mistakes she admits she’s made, there is no glossing over the truth and for this reason the book has great value to other mothers and I might add fathers as well.

No reader will regret the time spent on this excellent book. A great read.

Michael Grogan

Parent

Teacher

July 2013.

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Back in April, Meditating Mummy also read and wrote a review, to her I am immensely grateful. I am ‘chuffed’ that people have taken the time to read and to write their thoughts. You may see her review on the below link.

Reblogged from Meditating Mummy’s Blog:

I thank you.

2nd Challenge for Writing – I need help

http://ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com wants me to write about the following:-

I want to know about love and relationships after the age of 50–what should I know—what should I do to find true love at my age of 51.

Microphone on?

Where do I begin?

How shall I advise on finding true love, their soul mate, their person?

I am a person who has and fortunately I can answer yes to the above. In saying that it took me to the age of 54 before finding that ‘right’ one.

Perhaps it can be found in https://ramblingsfromamum.wordpress.com/2012/11/12/on-line-dating…-the-desperate

Perhaps not?

What should you know about love after 50 – What are you looking for?

Over 50, you have had many life experiences and relationships and you should have a fairly good idea of what it is you are seeking.

You know who you are and what you need/want in a partner. We (and I put myself in this category because I am over 50) understand what is important, the values in a good relationship and appreciate more so partners at this age, than  when I was younger. Then it was mainly lust – though lust does help in any relationship young or old. Please don’t squirm when you read that.

Are the reasons behind a failed relationship because of

• Mental or physical abuse?
• Lack of trust?
• Money issues?
• Affairs?

or

• We don’t communicate any more?
• We don’t have anything in common?
• We aren’t appreciated?
• Our sex life has died?

People are hell bent on trying to figure out if they were the problem. It’s only natural to assume in the beginning that you are possibly the one at fault when a relationship goes sour, until you can step back after the emotions have subsided and look at your partner and realise possibly they may have been.

“Is it me”?  “It must be – we were so happy in the beginning”.

Or perhaps it’s the “If only” syndrome. If you had communicated more, if you listened more, if you felt for his/her needs more, if you paid attention more, if you liked the same music, the same sports, if you didn’t spend so much money, if you were more active in the bedroom. The list can go on and on. Whatever the reason for a failed relationship we will always try and figure out why it didn’t work.

We are human, we make mistakes, we can fall in lust, fall in love just as quickly as we can fall out of it. Finding ‘your person’ is finding one who will let you be you – so so important, who does not question, who does not show distrust, who supports and gives guidance.

Love and all the cuteness that surrounds it brings our emotions to the highest levels. In the beginning those very emotions can change once you truly get to know that person. Unfortunately we can find ourselves moulding our very own personalities to suit our partners but as we grow older we realise we do not need or have to. For what will it accomplish? Absolutely nothing. We kid ourselves that if I change this or that he/she will stay. They won’t in the long run.

It’s difficult to know when the changing of yourselves for others takes place, it can happen gradually without knowing it. “I hate sports – yet I’m watching them because he wants me to”. “Why does she insist that I get dragged around the shops with her”. Little ‘nigglies’ can lead to major resentment as we know.

Over 50 why should we question anymore?

Over 50 you are your own person even more so than when you were younger.

We do not have to conform to suit others needs, not should we have to.

We don’t have to please for pleasings sake.

We can speak our mind without fear or losing our partner

In our age bracket, we have the need for less drama. With the understanding that we want to live a happy, fulfilling life. We don’t want to quibble over the small things, the insignificant things.

Our lives are usually well established with our careers at this age, we have the freedom to explore, to travel, to embark on anything we care to.

We all would like a partner to share our every day to day life with – but do we need one to be complete?

I guess this is easy me writing this because I have found my Mr. Right and I do not want to blowing my own horn.

If you are ambivalent about a relationship in the beginning it’s gut feel for the future.

Ask yourself?

• What are my goals and desires?
• Am I emotionally ready to start a new relationship?
• Do I have ‘baggage’ that I am carting from one relationship to the next?
• Am I putting my best foot forward in respect to my appearance?
• Am I comfortable enough with my own life that I’m able to share it with another?

There are no magical answers to finding true love. I wish it was so.

Perhaps the above maybe helpful or perhaps it won’t.

I found true happiness with Internet dating and as I explained in that post if you don’t have a broad range of single friends with equally the broad amount of single males, or you don’t belong to a club where you can meet others, or if you aren’t happy to go off to a Hotel for drinks with a G/F or male companion – then the options cruelly are slim.

Be yourself and know that there is Mr. Right out there and perhaps not seek too hard?

If your person is out there somewhere, they will find you, but you have to remain positive and upbeat and know within yourself that you a good person and have a lot to offer.

If I could wave a magic wand and cast a spell for your happiness and know that you will meet someone I would. Alas I can’t.

But remember….

Over 50 DOES NOT mean however your time has run out. For I am living proof of that!

Am I a true Cancerian..hmm yes it seems I am

Cancerian Traits

Emotional and loving
Intuitive and imaginative
Shrewd and cautious
Protective and sympathetic

Cancerian the Darker Side

Changeable and moody
Overemotional and touchy
Clinging and unable to let go

Cancer’s ruling planet is the moon, linked in astrology to nature, gestation, motherhood, and the creation and preservation of life. Perhaps more than any other sign, Cancer represents the passive, receptive, but profoundly powerful and encompassing female force in nature – the all-nourishing, or all-devouring, mother.

The Crab symbolizes the sea, cradle of all life.

Cancerians build boundaries, make homes, and gather things into incubation, protection, nurturance, and mothering. Cancerians are family centered, tradition bound, tied to the past, fearful of the future and of the unknown.They are as restless and moody as the shifting tides. They find the real world threatening, Astrologers say, and like to retreat into dreams and fantasies and to shelter themselves in the relative safety of the past.

The Cancerian woman gravitates toward traditional roles of wife and mother, seeking outlets for her strong maternal instincts and love of hearth and home. She is talented at creating a homey, protective atmosphere, a place of refuge – whether actually at home, or with her colleagues at work. A Cancerian is a good listener and is caring by nature, with a streak of possessiveness. Kind and sympathetic to the dilemma faced by others.

Cancerians are reliable, sincere, dedicated, responsible and determined, by nature. They are, by and large, good looking (OK I DID NOT INSERT THIS ) with a very pleasing personality. They usually have a round face, with a medium height. They love traveling around and can be successful in the field of writing and poetry. (I LIKE THAT PART)  Such individuals can get philosophical at times.

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