Here is Pop in the Hospital. Last Wednesday night, I dreamt that he had passed. I had two funeral services on Friday. For some reason I went to visit him with daughter K the next night (Thirsday) and also to take his new lambs wool rug to make him more comfortable. When we walked in the room at the Aged Care (ASL) his bed was lowered almost to the floor. He had a temperature of 38.6, they gave him panadol. His eyes couldn’t open. He couldn’t speak.
I phoned daugher B, she arrived within 10 minutes. Within an hour his temperature went to 40.6. They called a locum (local doctor) who was given the run down. He then said to the 3 of us, that he has an infection – not knowing where from. Given the state of his MSA & Parkinson’s, we had 2 choices. Take him to hospital to give him antibiotics, but given his state not to put wires and tubes in him as it would be too stressful for him. The other choice, to leave him in the home and let nature take its course…
I phoned my brother, he is of a different mindset to me, I said no he goes to Hospital. The ambulance came and us 3 girls went to the hospital where he had X-rays and blood tests. Mum didn’t come, half understanding, half not. She cried and hugged him as we left, saying she can’t live without him, as we all thought…
We all stayed till 2am. I couldn’t stop crying, either could my girls. Telling him he’s not going anywhere and to stay until I returned from the services and fight.I crawled into bed at 4, then up at 8 to do the funerals…this was not easy.
Back to the Hospital with K as soon as I was done. When I walked in, he opened his eyes a little more and started crying. As K went outside for a little, tears were unstoppable, I lay on his bed holding him, his speech still barely audible. I told him how much I love him. He started to cry saying “I don’t want to go”… I told him how I couldn’t have asked for a better father and pa to my girls. How proud of him I am, how he has accomplished so much in his life and much more. All this through so many tears.
B came in, his grandson, wife & their baby & Mr.S. Mr S doesn’t cope well with hospitals, remembering how his mum passed in one.
Mr.S took K back home, I slept at B’s. Back to the hospital at 7:15. Pop is more lucid, though not conversations. He has a catheter in and about to has had 3 enemas, (as he hasn’t been for 6 days).
His temperature is normal, BP a little low. I washed him, brushed his teeth and gave him a shave, (Santa has come early) as you will see.
He sleeps on and off and can open his eyes more. By mid morning he was talking far more and I even got smiles from him. It’s a waiting game. If the infection doesn’t subside in another 12-24 hrs, they said their best option is to just make him comfortable and in no pain..
Mum phoned this morning (Saturday) “I was just thinking, if dad isn’t going to be sitting in the chair next to me, I want to move into a unit” she got angry when I tried to say no and hung up on me, she doesn’t understand what’s really going on.
Doctors just came in, aspiration pneumonia, swallowed liquid or food the wrong way and went into his trachea to his lungs (hence infection) and a bowel obstruction. I stayed till 12am as he didn’t want to be alone, having pain spasms every couple of minutes in his tummy. I held his hand as he squeezed hard, rubbed his tummy, told him to breathe through it.
It’s now 6:30am Sunday morning and I just came in again, he just woke up, but he’s not like yesterday, I sit beside him and hold his hand.
Sorry for the long post, I’ll be back reading, when I can.
Thoughts and hugs for pop please.
I know as I sit beside you
I don’t want you to go
Call it selfish of me
But this I really know
As I hugged you on your bed
And I spoke my words of love
You told me how you treasured me
Those words were more than enough
I’ll have you for as much as I can
As I can’t bare that you won’t be
But the circle of life will continue
In my work – that’s all I see