Write at the Merge Prompt – ‘My world’s in a bubble’

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Cuddled together
a blanket of coloured wool
surrounds our shoulders
clink of glasses
toasting each other
as we look ahead to the lake
and the mountain beyond
plunging into the depths
where we cannot swim
feed me fresh strawberries
smile as juice trickles down
my chin grab a handkerchief
gently wipe as I stupidly grin
watch ants round our feet
and lift our legs high
not wanting a bite this makes
us laugh at the small things
the large things the colours
the clouds drifting through
heavens this worlds indeed ours
for all that I have
right here and right now
is our own nirvana
away from the crowds
as like the bubble that
drifts in the breeze
all that I need is
right here with me

For WatMButtonTake2wText-150x150

Life does change

Wedding Pic057

She stands
in the garden, alone in her thoughts, not knowing what her life will bring, simply letting her mind wander to what the future holds for her, what goes through her mind?
she bows
her head, trying to breathe, trying to visualise the hours ahead, the day of becoming a married woman, the moment she says I do
she leans
against the wooden tree which gives support to her trembling body, for she is nervous yet exhilarated at the age of twenty-six, young and about to begin a new life
she has
her dream come true, like many other young women to find their companion in life, to commit, to begin travelling down an unknown road with the one that she loves, her wedding day
could she
have known it would cease,  did it cross her mind on this day the 16th February it wouldn’t
be forever
she has
moved on, she is very happy in her life and she is also happy for the man that was
her husband
life changes
feelings get lost, communication breaks, meeting a T intersection, different directions
are taken
but she
is ok with that, for life isn’t always perfect, sometimes it’s not a fairy tale romance, not the happy ever after, but lessons are learnt, she has grown and now she can look through the photos of that day which bring a smile to her face and she can remember ….life does change

Ode to Tarsha

This is a photo of our girl Tarsha. She would have been about 5 or 6 when this was taken.

EPSON scanner image

She was 16 years of age when her legs started to give way, when she lost control of her bodily functions.

When I had to make the most heart-breaking decision of my life – to end hers.

She was what you call a bitzer – a non descript, not a pure bred, but a cocker spaniel/blue heeler.

She crossed over the rainbow bridge 7 years ago this July.

She, like all fur-babies had their own personality – pedigree or not. Some may look at her and say ‘what an ugly dog…look at those ears’, she was not to know what she would look like, she just hoped that someone would take her into their home and love her. That is what we did – she didn’t have to be stunning, or a dog you could ‘pop’ into your handbag to have people say ‘Ohhh how cute”. She gave us unconditional love and laughter and joy.  If her water bowl was empty I would find her in the shower.. giving me the hint that she was thirsty. This is where Tarsha or ‘Tarshy-girl’ rests now and every time I see a rainbow I talk to her. This is also why I can’t own another dog for I cannot go through that pain again. This is why I mind dogs to enjoy them, to get to know their personalities, to give them lots of cuddles. They told me when your pet passes over their soul is with you for a while and you will know that they have returned to let you know they are …ok. When Tarsha was cremated and brought back home, without a lie, I felt something brush past my legs 3 times in two weeks… I know it was her.

EPSON scanner image

So to you my little girl I say this.

You are gone
not forgotten
the love you
gave us
always
to remain

you have crossed
the rainbow bridge
now, to run, be young
and play

you have left
our lives
that
somehow
will never be the same

thank you for the
treasured times
thank you for
your love
we miss you
after all this
time

we miss our little
‘Tarsh’

When do you get the warm & fuzzies?

I flittered from Title to the Text
I decided on text and write the title afterwards.
What makes you warm and fuzzy?

My warm and fuzzy moments come from so many things.. I’m sharing just a few

  • hearing my daughters laugh
  • my daughters giving me a hug
  • holding onto Mr. S
  • writing
  • reading comments on my writing
  • listening to Andrea Bocceli – or any music
  • hearing a new borns cry
  • watching a child take their first steps
  • watching a foal take theirs
  • orangutang infants
  • puppies and grown puppies
  • wishing balloons on a Thailand night
  • eating something delicious..strawberries – lobster
  • drinking something delicious – a Mai Tai – chocolate milk
  • giving my arm to my parents when they walk

I guess this list (in my mind) is endless as it would be for each and every one of you.

Tell me if you wish what makes you warm and fuzzy?

Even if it’s one.

2nd Challenge for Writing – I need help

http://ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com wants me to write about the following:-

I want to know about love and relationships after the age of 50–what should I know—what should I do to find true love at my age of 51.

Microphone on?

Where do I begin?

How shall I advise on finding true love, their soul mate, their person?

I am a person who has and fortunately I can answer yes to the above. In saying that it took me to the age of 54 before finding that ‘right’ one.

Perhaps it can be found in https://ramblingsfromamum.wordpress.com/2012/11/12/on-line-dating…-the-desperate

Perhaps not?

What should you know about love after 50 – What are you looking for?

Over 50, you have had many life experiences and relationships and you should have a fairly good idea of what it is you are seeking.

You know who you are and what you need/want in a partner. We (and I put myself in this category because I am over 50) understand what is important, the values in a good relationship and appreciate more so partners at this age, than  when I was younger. Then it was mainly lust – though lust does help in any relationship young or old. Please don’t squirm when you read that.

Are the reasons behind a failed relationship because of

  • Mental or physical abuse?
  • Lack of trust?
  • Money issues?
  • Affairs?

or

  • We don’t communicate any more?
  • We don’t have anything in common?
  • We aren’t appreciated?
  • Our sex life has died?

People are hell bent on trying to figure out if they were the problem. It’s only natural to assume in the beginning that you are possibly the one at fault when a relationship goes sour, until you can step back after the emotions have subsided and look at your partner and realise possibly they may have been.

“Is it me”?  “It must be – we were so happy in the beginning”.

Or perhaps it’s the “If only” syndrome. If you had communicated more, if you listened more, if you felt for his/her needs more, if you paid attention more, if you liked the same music, the same sports, if you didn’t spend so much money, if you were more active in the bedroom. The list can go on and on. Whatever the reason for a failed relationship we will always try and figure out why it didn’t work.

We are human, we make mistakes, we can fall in lust, fall in love just as quickly as we can fall out of it. Finding ‘your person’ is finding one who will let you be you – so so important, who does not question, who does not show distrust, who supports and gives guidance.

Love and all the cuteness that surrounds it brings our emotions to the highest levels. In the beginning those very emotions can change once you truly get to know that person. Unfortunately we can find ourselves moulding our very own personalities to suit our partners but as we grow older we realise we do not need or have to. For what will it accomplish? Absolutely nothing. We kid ourselves that if I change this or that he/she will stay. They won’t in the long run.

It’s difficult to know when the changing of yourselves for others takes place, it can happen gradually without knowing it. “I hate sports – yet I’m watching them because he wants me to”. “Why does she insist that I get dragged around the shops with her”. Little ‘nigglies’ can lead to major resentment as we know.

Over 50 why should we question anymore?

Over 50 you are your own person even more so than when you were younger.

We do not have to conform to suit others needs, not should we have to.

We don’t have to please for pleasings sake.

We can speak our mind without fear or losing our partner

In our age bracket, we have the need for less drama. With the understanding that we want to live a happy, fulfilling life. We don’t want to quibble over the small things, the insignificant things.

Our lives are usually well established with our careers at this age, we have the freedom to explore, to travel, to embark on anything we care to.

We all would like a partner to share our every day to day life with – but do we need one to be complete?

I guess this is easy me writing this because I have found my Mr. Right and I do not want to blowing my own horn.

If you are ambivalent about a relationship in the beginning it’s gut feel for the future.

Ask yourself?

  • What are my goals and desires?
  • Am I emotionally ready to start a new relationship?
  • Do I have ‘baggage’ that I am carting from one relationship to the next?
  • Am I putting my best foot forward in respect to my appearance?
  • Am I comfortable enough with my own life that I’m able to share it with another?

There are no magical answers to finding true love. I wish it was so.

Perhaps the above maybe helpful or perhaps it won’t.

I found true happiness with Internet dating and as I explained in that post if you don’t have a broad range of single friends with equally the broad amount of single males, or you don’t belong to a club where you can meet others, or if you aren’t happy to go off to a Hotel for drinks with a G/F or male companion – then the options cruelly are slim.

Be yourself and know that there is Mr. Right out there and perhaps not seek too hard?

If your person is out there somewhere, they will find you, but you have to remain positive and upbeat and know within yourself that you a good person and have a lot to offer.

If I could wave a magic wand and cast a spell for your happiness and know that you will meet someone I would. Alas I can’t.

But remember….

Over 50 DOES NOT mean however your time has run out. For I am living proof of that!

Motherhood – telling it like it is..the good..the bad…the ugly

How brave am I with that Title!

Dislocating my shoulder from patting myself on the back…that’s how much.

No honestly I have read a few blogs (such a blagh word) posts..posts sounds much more dignified, of late and wanted to write the below.

This is Mumsy talking ..honest..straight from the heart …the gut…the soul…

Mums,Moms,mothers..no matter what word you use (now take a deep deep breath in) we are special, we are loving, we are caring, we are nurturing, we are protective, we are consoling, we are advises, we are taxi drivers, we are nurses, we are accountants, we are healers, we are protectors, we are hard task masters, we are insane, we are counsellors, we are time keepers, we are the carers, we are …well just mums.

No one prepares you for mother hood no matter how many books you may read, or what advice is imparted by family, relatives or friends. When I was having my 2nd, I pulled into the driveway to drop off daughter # 1 to be greeted by my mum who said “Hope it’s a boy”… Hmmph well I don’t really care at this point I just want IT OUT!!

You can take in all the advice (especially with your 1st) you absorb and then it’s up to  you..plain and simple you are the one having said child.. you are the one that is going to go through unexplainable agony to deliver said child and you are the one to raise said child to the best of your ability.

Prior to having your lovely little one….

Do they tell you that you that in the throes of labour you will hate your other half for getting you into this mess in the first place? No

Do they tell you, even though you may decide on a drug free birth that the pain is so great you may simply relinquish all thoughts of not wanting to possibly inflict any drugs into your baby’s system for taking some? No

Do they tell you that you  have to have an enema (why couldn’t I just have had prunes?) and a mini shave? (like OMG what is THAT all about) No

Do they tell you that you have to leave any embarrassment aside that you may feel about having your legs spread wide or in stirrups with bright neon lights shining onto your private bits? No

Do they tell you that you will squat, be on all fours, lay down, toss, turn, sit, pant, breathe heavy,cry? No

Do they tell you, you will feel like you are passing a watermelon and not a small baby? No

Do they tell you when your milk comes in day 3 or 4 that you turn into the devil incarnate? No

Do they tell you that relieving your sore and swollen “boobies” can only be helped by (a) standing under a hot shower (b) putting cabbage leaves across them (such elegance) or expressing? No

Do they tell you if you have had to have an episiotomy that the only cure is a salt bath and a whoopee cushion? No

Do they tell you that yes you may not be able to burp your baby and their lips may turn purple? No

Do they tell you it’s natural for you to run down to the nursery if baby isn’t in the same room with you to check on them every 2 minutes? No

Do they tell you that if your baby doesn’t sleep and you are rocking them, laying them along your arm, feeding them, burping them, laying them on your tummy and you will be so sleep deprived that you feel you want to throw them out the window? No

Do they tell you that they will test your patience, make you cry, make you scream, make you say  “Why are you even here?? No

Do they tell you that their first bowel movements may make you gag? No

Do they tell you when you bath them that it is ok and you that you won’t accidentally drown them? No

Do they tell you when you want to cook the dinner that that is the time they will play up and cry and want attention? No

BUT SHOULD THEY TELL YOU

That you will go through the worst pain you have ever experienced in your entire life  and be grateful that you did and you won’t remember it.

That you will look upon your newborn child with awe and amazement of how you created this tiny being?

That you will snuggle against your newborns skin and take in their baby smell and realise that is all you have ever wanted or needed in your life.

That you watch them feed and gaze at their sleepy eyes as they close sated with milk.

That you will listen to their first words and think they are the most brilliant child to be born.

That you will watch them take their first steps and be warm,fuzzy and proud inside.

That you will heal their wounds and band aid their cuts when they fall.

That you will treasure the moment they bring home their first piece of art work from kinder and school.

That you will be so excited for them when they have met a friend.

That you will be the shoulder they need to cry on when they have been hurt by someone.

That you will be there to help and guide and protect and nurture them for as long as you live.

That yes there will be testing times and angry times and frustrating times but it’s all part of being a mum.

That you think being a mum for all it’s trials and tribulations is what you have wanted more than anything else in this world.

That the love you feel for them is insurmountable.

That you would lay your life down for them.

Yes that is what is being a mother is all about…here for the long haul through thick and through thin, to encourage, to help, to guide, to mentor, to love.. and truly…I am so happy to be a mum..happy to have these (now adult girls) who will always be ‘my babies’. Proud of their accomplishments and yes can acknowledge their failures or have doubts about how they live their lives. BUT still… seeing a part of me in them for better or worse and being individuals and simply just them being them makes me proud.

Yes they may take a wrong turn, make decisions you aren’t happy with but it’s all part of growing up and they are learning as you  continually do.

Embrace your role …I have…I will continue to do so…sometimes it’s difficult, sometimes you want to pull your hair out, sometimes you scream and rant and rave at things they have done…but they are your creation. They are part of you and for me, my 2 daughters are … well…. two human beings that I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever want not be in my life.

I am in awe of them..now and always.

Can we ever be again?

When can we be children again and giggle and laugh at silly things?

When can we be children again and play hide and seek in the dark?

When can we be children again and play on the slide and the tyre swings?

When can we be children again and skip a huge rope in the park?

When can we be children again and hop in and out of a puddle?

When can we be children again to run and laugh when we play?

When can we be children again and just want a friend to cuddle?

When can we be children again and race all our friends in a relay?

So when can we do these things without being stared at or pointed to?

Whenever we want is my answer, there’s no need to analyse or think it through

To bring out that fun and enthusiasm like a child that is hidden in our heart

We can be the child if we choose once again and that’s the amazing part

If you hear good music that fills you with joy then do a little dance – doesn’t matter where you are.

Laugh out loud if you want to. Swing and slide down that slide without a care. Skip rope and jump in puddles. Giggle and play hide and seek. Do what brings you joy and not what you think you have to do, for there’s no fun in that.

And if people stare and point and think you’re a little crazy, well maybe it’s just because the child that is hidden in them can’t return.

Holding Hands

REACH for my hand my little one, as your first steps bring you into my arms.

CLING to my hand my little one, as we look both ways before we cross.

BLOW me a kiss with your hand my little one, as I leave you on your first day of kinder.

WAVE your hand excitedly my little one, as you enter the schoolyard gates.

GRASP tight my hands my little one, as you cry with your first broken heart.

CLUTCH my hands with joy my little one, when you have met the man of your dreams.

SQUEEZE my hand my now grown up one, as you travel your own path.

R for how remarkable you both are.

C for how captivating you both can be

B for beautiful beyond words

W for words can’t describe how I love you both

G for the gladness you both bring to my heart

C for how charming you both are

S for so many years of happiness you have brought me

To my girls.