Today was a very long day. Yawned, stretched and up at 6. Showered, dressed, cup of tea, out the door at 7. I arrived at 7:20. It commenced at 8.30, but I volunteered to help with door registrations and finished at 5.
Today was the Annual Seminar for Borderline Personality Disorder, which was held in Melbourne. Approximately 450 people attended.
Consumers – this is the label they use for those who suffer from BPD.
Carer’s or Support People – Moi
Clinician’s, Doctors, Health Departments and the best of all, those who have lived with BPD and come out the other side.
Those who were healed and recovered.
Daughter K attended as did her boyfriend J.
We sat and listened to a panel of ‘Consumers’ (such a terrible label) we then listened to two who took to the stage who shared their life experiences.
At morning tea, I had the pleasure to be able to ask one of them, Catherine, a few questions that I needed to know. I shall simplify the questions and answers, after giving her a very brief rundown on how K interacts.
Do BPD’s know how to manipulate ? “Oh we most certainly do”.
Do they lie? “Yes we are pretty good at it”.
Should I feel guilty if I give in to demands? “No you shouldn’t”.
Should I be stronger, set more boundaries? “Yes, you should, why give in to an adult, if she didn’t have BPD would you give in as much? My reply was no. “Well don’t give in now”.
It’s strange how a few words can boost your confidence, give you hope, empower you.
Later during the day Catherine was outside, I was able to speak to her again and better yet, K and J came out and she spoke to K.
“So are you practising your mindfulness”?…….. No not really.
“Do you want to get well”?….. Yes I do.
“Well you won’t if you don’t practice. Even though I am recovered, I have a reminder on my phone every hour to practise, takes one minute. At night I take 2 minutes, centering myself. This is what you must do, otherwise, it will be a long haul”….. I know that now and realise I should….”Good, we can listen to those hundred monkeys in our heads, or we can close the door on them, the option is ours and no one elses”
She talked to us on and off throughout the day, asking me who my support person was, I said I have my partner, but it’s difficult for him to understand and I have girlfriends who give me their advice. She said you need someone who understands, who will be there in the bad moments, which there are many. She gave me her website and email address to talk to her, if I need. I just hugged her and cried.
J and I are now on polite speaking terms, I thought it best to forgive and forget what he said to me in those days prior to me moving in with my penguins. He sent me a text later saying I think K now realises she must work harder at this. I just smiled as I read.
It was only a day, only words, but I have all fingers crossed this may have helped my baby girl on the road to a quicker recovery.
PS: If anyone has any questions about BPD, I will do my best to answer you, either on here or email.