Have I forgotten the first signs of you wanting to come into this world
It seems so
Have I forgotten the pain that racked through my body as you circled and moved within me
It seems so
Have I forgotten screaming in agony and wishing you would appear
It seems so
Have I forgotten the stitches and the burning when I stepped into those salt baths
It seems so
Have I forgotten day four or five when my hormones surged and I felt that I could do nothing right
It seems so
Have I forgotten the swelling of my breasts when my milk came in and the hot shower that brought relief
It seems so
Have I forgotten the inadequacies I felt when I couldn’t bring up your wind after a feed and thought ‘I can’t do this’
It seems so
Have I forgotten the fear I felt when you slept by my side in the hospital and didn’t wake for me
It seems so
Have I forgotten bathing you for first time trying to console myself that I wouldn’t accidentally let you slip
It seems so – but
Have I forgotten the moment they laid you on my bare skin – it seems not
Have I forgotten looking at you in absolute awe of your beauty – it seems not
Have I forgotten holding your tiny hands in mine and counting your fingers and toes – it seems not
Have I forgotten brushing my cheek upon yours with my tears flowing – it seems not
Have I forgotten that from that day forward my role was to protect you and keep you from harm – it seems not
Have I forgotten watching you suckle as you grasped your tiny fingers around my seemingly cumbersome ones and drifted off to sleep – how could I
Have I forgotten that I realised how lucky I was to have gone through the miracle of birth and to have two beautiful daughters because of it – how could I
Have I forgotten taking you for your first inoculation and wanting the pain to be mine and not yours – how could I
Have I forgotten with every day that passes how much my love for both of you grow and how proud I am of both of you – Never
To my girls – I love you
xxxx
Ramblings From A Mum 