After a wine or two
Yes I put this as a Category and sometimes I have written after I have imbibed in the demon drink alcoholic beverage.
This evening, yes it is night in my part of the world – its 11.59pm and ‘my bad’ as I have imbibed.
So forgive me with whatever I manage to type and also forgive any typing errors (though I will do a spell check if I can make sense of the red underlined words) and what springs forth from my brain, for I am not writing consciously – from the words of someone we all know – ‘for they know not what they do’..in this case I am the ‘they’. Are you confused yet … I am.
EVERYONE has mentioned in one blog or another that Christmas makes them melancholy, think of their life thus far, think of the future..what could have been ..what is to come, or why this time of year makes us reflect on situations more than before.
How overwhelming are our lives? What do we set out to accomplish? We are born..we live…we die, but sometimes this is questioned because we feel there must be something more? Do we appreciated the lives we have? Are we happy with our mere existence? Should we do more for others than what we perceive is enough?
Let’s face it – none of us want to die. We are happy where we are and to a degree who we are.
BUT do you ever get the ‘there must be something more than this’ thought?
Do we wish to accomplish greater things? Or perhaps we want to leave the world knowing that we have done something spectacular, to be remembered by, to make a difference. Or do we feel like running away?
Is it a matter of I haven’t accomplished a great deal, there are things I need to do, I feel lost, I feel that there has to be more to my life than what I am doing or have done till now.
I think most of my followers are younger than I (or that is the impression I have) and I wonder if they feel as I do now.
I could prattle on till the cows come home (expression) and I wrote this thinking …my life, this is all I have…can I go to my grave knowing that I should have given more..accomplished more. Is that only for self gratification?
As one gets older as I am doing, these thoughts occur to me more and more. I do not know how much time I have, no one knows, our time on this planet is limited, we cannot turn back the clock.
We are simply beings in a Universe that live our lives day to day, whether we accomplish what we want or are gratified by our mere existence is up to us as individuals.
To make a mark, so that others know you existed ..is that what this post is about? As an example – writing posts, shall these be remembered in years to come? I think not. I shall be remembered when I am no longer breathing air as a mother, one who tried her utmost to provide, to console, to advise, to love her children. I shall hopefully be remembered by Mr. S and by my family and friends as someone they could rely upon, who brought them laughter, who could write, who was always there for them.
Surely this should be enough? It’s raining outside, through my window I hear the drops hit the pebbles on the ground, it is late, I am tired and have rambled on enough..Good night to those that have read.
Ramblings From A Mum 